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September 27, 2004
Telemarketer Torture
From Michelle, in the Slagroom...
Not that I don't like telemarketers personally, because they are usually nice people, but I so hate having to say "no" and hang up the telephone, because it's rude, and it must be such a hard job to do, but there is a limit to how many $15 donations one woman can give!
So one unexpected advantage to being nonreal and currently having no house phone--the telemarketers cannot find me!!
Or so I thought...
...Until I hit the high street.
It would seem that telemarketers in Rotterdam have been replaced by...STREETMARKETERS!
First encounter...
Streetmarketer #1: "Excuse me, madam, can I interest you in..." (but in Dutch)
Me: "Um, sorry, I don't speak Dutch."
Streetmarketer #1 (in perfect English): "Oh, that's okay, I speak English. Can I interest you in..."
Second encounter, 5 minutes later, after have apologized profusely to Streetmarketer #1 that no, I don't want to take up today's special deal on toasters. Or coffemakers.
Streetmarketer #2: "Excuse me, madam, can I interest you in..." (again in Dutch, obviously).
Me (thinking quickly): "Um, sorry, je suis francaise!" (No, I cannot speak fab French, but seems like a great ploy to avoid offending Streetmarketer #2).
Streetmarketer #2 (in flawless French): "Oh, that's okay, I speak French. Can I interest you in..."
Third encounter, 5 minutes later, after have made complete fool of self to Streetmarketer #2, and also apologized to Streetmarketer #2 that no, I don't want to take up today's special deal on office equipment.
Streetmarketer #3: "Excuse me, madam, can I interest you in..." (again, naturally, in Dutch).
Me (trying a different tactic): "Um, sorry, Ich bin Deutsch!" (No, I cannot speak fab German, but hey, by this point I am getting desperate).
Obviously, Streetmarketer #3 also speaks perfect German...
Streetmarketer #4: "Excuse me, madam, can I interest you in..."
Me (now a bag of nerves): "Um, I'm only here on vacation."
Streetmarketer #4: "That's fine, because our hair curlers work all over Europe. In fact, they're perfect for travellers. Why don't you come into the store and I'll give you a trial run. You'd look great with curly hair!"
New plan: plot Streeetmarketer locations on map of Rotterdam and take alternative route in future...or shave head, thereby avoiding need for hair curlers...
Posted by Michelle at 8:05 AM | Comments (2)
Comments
You know, I've had this theory for a while, but the streetmarketer confirms it - they're actually after *you* specifically, aren't they? Argh. Poor girl. But, if it's any comfort, and it really shouldn't be, your stories are very funny. And I love the image of you sitting in a bunch of slagroom. Although, you should share it with Kevin. I think he'd appreciate it even more!
:) Lani
Posted by: Lani at September 28, 2004 8:13 AM
You do realize that scene, as written, needs to make it into your next book.
It must. It's a moral imperative. :-D
B.
Posted by: Barb at September 28, 2004 9:06 PM
