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December 21, 2004

Trams, Christmas trees and TV signals...

From Michelle, who is no longer in the Internet cafe but is at home WITH HER OWN INTERNET CONNECTION, yeah!

Yes, after four months in the Internet cafe I can finally log on without having to get dressed, force my unruly hair into some kind of order, and apply makeup!

Talking of hair, the other day I decided that enough was enough and I really should get over my phobia of finding a new, trustworthy hairdresser who wouldn't run amok with orange streaks or something equally outlandish, and I really should get it cut before Christmas so as not to scare anyone, so I booked an appointment and set off for the tram...

THE TRAM

The Number 1 tram stops just around the corner from my new apartment, which is wonderful because (a) I don't feel like walking or bicycling to the hair salon because it is freezing cold and raining, and (b) I don't have a car (refer to earlier entry about gas being $8 per gallon).

As I round the corner the tram is just arriving, so I run to catch it. Kind tram driver waits for me. What a lovely man for not making me wait eight more minutes for the next one in this horrible weather!

Anyway, about five minutes later I realize that the tram has mysteriously taken a completely different route to its usual one. I glance around at my fellow passengers for signs of confusion or annoyance, but all are serene. They all obviously know something that I do not!

So I jump off at the next stop and check the number on the side of the tram. It is a number 7 tram, not a number 1 tram. But the number 7 tram doesn't even go to the tram stop around the corner from my apartment, only the number 1 tram goes to the stop around the corner from my apartment.

I still haven't figured this out...

(PS. My hair turned out just fine!)

THE CHRISTMAS TREE

While I was in the middle of another 0900 TEN CENTS PER MINUTE call to find out why my TV signal wasn't working, my Christmas tree collapsed.

This is because a) the lovely Jef and Dan insisted that I go with them when they went to buy their tree so I could get one, too, b) I had to buy a new tree stand because my old one still hasn't materialized from the unpacking, c) the screws in the new tree stand were too short to reach the trunk of my obviously deficient, skinny Christmas tree, so I had to stuff cardboard between them and the trunk to hold up the tree, then d) I watered the tree to stop it from dying.

Yes, you read that right. I watered the tree. And the cardboard. And we all know that when you mix water and cardboard you end up with soggy, mushy pulp, don't we? Well, I did but then I kind of forgot because I was preoccupied with the TV problem so I just didn't think...

Two hours later, after disentagling the lights and ornaments, and after some nifty trunk-enhancing work involving dry cardboard and waterproof duct tape, my tree was back up!

THE TV SIGNAL

After nearly a month of no TV I finally have a TV signal. It's true! This is what happened...

When the cable guy came around to install the Internet he told me I'd got the TV plugged into the wrong outlet.

"But.. But it says 'TV' on the outlet," I tell him, thoroughly bewildered.

"Yes, but that's the old TV connector from the 1950's," he replies.

The real "new" outlet is located on the opposite side of the room, in a corner, by the balcony door, niftily concealed by the radiator heating...

I mean, anyone could make that mistake, couldn't they?

Am off now to a) wipe egg off face, and b) watch TV whilst admiring my Christmas tree and surfing Internet for fabulous last-minute gifts...

Posted by Michelle at 5:23 AM