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February 21, 2005
The Magically Disappearing Woman
From Michelle, Apparently Invisible In Rotterdam...
Just to add to Lani's teasing comment about our mystery guest literary chick--all I can say is that she's absolutely fabulous, and we can't wait to let you in on the secret. Stay tuned to find out her identitiy! More on her soon, but for now...
Owkey. Some of you know how much of a beacon I am for the streetmarketers, who all instantly home in on me the minute I step outside my aparrtment.
Well, this completely reverses the minute I step into a supermarket, because I become totally invisible. It's true! Here's what happened...
Picture this: I am in the cheese aisle, but there are two people blocking my access to the Cheddar. They're very busy having a chat and haven't noticed me yet, but I need to get to the cheese, so very politely I say "Pardon" (Dutch for excuse me). And they ignore me and continue chatting. I say pardon, again, but they still don't appear to notice me, so I walk back down the aisle, along the next aisle, and come back along the cheese aisle from the opposite direction.
Two minutes later, picture this: there are two people blocking the aisle, again. Two completely different people. A completely different aisle. And all I want to do is get past them to the olive oil, and so I say pardon. And when they don't hear or see me I say pardon, again. Yep, they don't notice me. So I turn on my heel, stalk back down the aisle the way I came, go down the next aisle, and approach the olive oil aisle from the opposite direction.
This same curious thing happens to me a few more times when I attempt to procure (a) milk, (b) tuna, and (c) bread. So by the time I get to the freezer aisle I am getting just a bit paranoid when it happens again!
Finally, I get through the checkout without mishap, and then line up for the vending machine because I need to get some strippen kart--a vital acquisition because I want to take the tram home, and strippen kart is the strip card that the Dutch use on their public transport system.
The line is quite long, and about ten hours later when it is finally my turn, before I can move forward and insert my money into the machine, a woman steps in front of me and takes my turn. I just don't believe it.
I am invisible. I'm convinced I am!
Anyway, I was so stunned that I didn't say anything. I could only gaze at her with openmouthed astonishment. After she successfully purchased her condoms (yes, these machines also vend condoms--and tampons) I finally got my turn and bought my strippen kart.
As I left the supermarket and stepped out into the sunlight, a streetmarketer immediately cornered me and tried to convince me that I needed a subscription to his newspaper so that I could improve my Dutch.
I mean, what is going on, here? What? Is it just me?
But for once, I had the last laugh...
"No thanks," I told the eager young streetmarketer. "One of your telemarketers already caught me last week and set up my subscription."
Michelle xx
Posted by Michelle at 11:40 AM | Comments (3)
Comments
Aw, honey! Maybe next time, instead of saying "Pardon" in Dutch, you should say, "Move the f*** out of my way!" in English. And bonus - you can use the same phrase on the telemarketers!
Posted by: Lani at February 21, 2005 8:27 PM
Michelle!!! OMG! I dont know whether to laugh or be pissed off for you. BTW I agree w/Lani--some words are universal ;-)
Posted by: Cece at February 22, 2005 3:38 PM
LOL--But you know, I am a bit short and the people here tend to be very tall. Strongly suspect that ten-inch heels are the answer. Or stilts :-)
Michelle
Posted by: Michelle C at February 23, 2005 2:04 AM
