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February 23, 2005

Four Words

Lani, gearing up for the rant...

Before I get started, a choppy thought: I've decided I want this. Do you see how it actually burns the image of Hello Kitty into the toast? Maybe this is similar to how the image of the Virgin Mary keeps showing up in potato chips...

Now, for the blog. Some of you already know I've been teaching an actual bonafide university class this semester. Which has been loads of fun. I love having a captive audience and for the most part my students seem to endure their captivity with relative grace, so all is well. Anyway, one of the things I've learned is that lecturing is ranting you get paid to do. Very, very cool. So what I'm about to do here? Not a rant.

It's a lecture. And it's for the guys, and it will change their lives forever.

No. Really.

Guys, repeat after me:

"You're right. That sucks."

Four simple words. Change your life. Not kidding.

The other day, I hit on a bad moment while I was out and about, so I flipped open my cell phone and called Fish to be comforted. He then gave me a logical reason why I should not be upset, and when I continued to be upset, he got frustrated and I told him that gee, thanks, his yelling was so very comforting and then he said he wasn't YELLING he was just FRUSTRATED by the fact that I wasn't LISTENING.

We hung up. Neither one of us was happy. All of which could have been avoided if he'd just said, "You're right. That sucks."

Because here's the thing with men. We come to them with a problem, and they want to fix it, not realizing that we're just as capable of fixing it as they are (unless said problem is plumbing/insect-related, in which case, yes, we want them to fix it and now, please.) We are women. Hear us roar. We are capable of logic. We are not coming to you for logic. We are coming to you for four words.

"You're right. That sucks."

I don't know what it is that makes men incapable of saying this. The penis, the testosterone, the Y chromosome, latent resentment over having to both lift up and then put down the toilet seat. I don't know. But for some reason, it seems almost impossible fo them to just say, "Yes. I see you are upset, and rather than a) telling you why you shouldn't be upset using my Vulcan male logic or b) trying to fix your problem by giving you obvious advice as though you're an idiot or c) making some stupid joke in an attempt to distract you from the fact that I can do neither a) nor b), I'll just say, 'Hey, you know what? You're right. THAT SUCKS.'"

Yeah. It really is that easy.

But if Fish is reading this, and wants to buy me that Hello Kitty toaster, that's okay, too.

Posted by Lani at 8:21 PM | Comments (4)

Comments

Posted by: Eileen at February 24, 2005 1:22 AM

Posted by: joshilyn at February 24, 2005 9:23 AM

Posted by: Shelley at February 24, 2005 10:53 AM

Posted by: Amy at February 24, 2005 10:54 AM