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March 2, 2005
Sweetness, Light, and Shame
Lani, from Winter Storm Warning Central...
You know what I love about living in Central New York? That even when there's a Winter Storm Advisory, and snow drifts are obscuring entire buildings, and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are gathering at the Seven-Eleven, sipping Cherry Slurpees and waiting for the call... even then they don't cancel school. So yesterday, after I sent Sweetness off to have her spirit and individuality broken by the public school system, I spent some quality time with my preschooler, Light.
What I love about Light. When she hugs, it's not an act. It's an event. We were playing an endless game of Pink Bear, Green Bear (wherein she plays Green Bear doing all sorts of things I can't understand, and when I ask - as Pink Bear - what exactly is happening, she yells at me because I don't know) and to distract her from the game, which was slowly draining my life force, I said, "Mommy wants big hugs."
So the kid, built like a Mack truck and twice as tough, goes all the way to the other end of the room, takes a deep breath, and rushes me with all her force and will. And let me tell you. Light? Has a lot of force and will.
Something else about Light. All the "kisses" must be placed by me on a particular spot on the top of her head. So as she rushes me, her head is down, pointed at me, like a bull going for a toreador's red cape.
And yet, I live to tell the tale. I'm a little sore, but I live. I'm thinking about loaning her out to heart patients. She's a human defribillator.
Defribrillator. Defibrillator? I don't know. And yet, with all the internet at my disposal, I'm not looking it up. Why? Lazy.
I have a confession to make. I've been carrying the shame for a couple of days, and while I'm not Catholic, I believe in the power of confession. So, here we go.
I tossed 3 hours of my life out the window of a speeding train. Meaning, I watched The Bachelorette finale.
All. Of. It. I hadn't watched the season at all because you've seen one rose ceremony, you've seen 'em all. And I knew that in the process of the THREE HOUR FINALE they would recap absolutely everything that ever happened on the show to try and fill ALL THAT TIME since, essentially, what everyone tuned in for - the "You get the rose, he get no rose" bit - takes all of about fifteen seconds. But that's not my real shame. Getting sucked into these things is only human. It happens. Very good, reasonable, intelligent people get sucked in. It happens.
No, my shame is this. To try and justify my behavior, I went into my Beginning Television Production class and tried to shoehorn a lesson about reality television into the lecture so I could justify the fact that I watched it. It was pretty sad.
So my punishment? Today, I'll be asking Light to give me Big Ramming-Head Hugs all day long until she both stops and then restarts my heart. It's kinda like doing a bunch of Hail Marys, only not.
On second thought, maybe light a candle for me. Just to hedge my bets.
Posted by Lani at 8:03 AM | Comments (3)
Comments
When I saw this, I wondered hmmm... is Lani referring to me? Clicked on it, and yes! Made me laugh. I think I'll forward this to my husband. See? I'm a "very good, reasonable, intelligent" person! Did you see Amazing Race last night? Had to click back and forth between that and the report on how Season Three girls from America's Top Model are doing. Life is so busy.
Posted by: Stephanie at March 2, 2005 1:03 PM
What is it about America's Next Top Model? I've just started watching it recently. No idea which season it is here (in the UK) but it's the one with Eva and, erm, the plus size girl whose name escapes me. Oh and the girl who's losing her sight.
I don't know their names but I know they're awful. And the ones that aren't awful are boring. And the whole thing is vacuous and pointless and annoying (especially that "former supermodel" judge with the over-inflated lips) but I have to watch it.
My husband says 'Why are you watching this crap?' and I say 'I don't know'.
Posted by: Keris at March 3, 2005 4:19 AM
Hmph. At least you get kisses. Whenever I ask my toddler for a kiss, he screws his face up in distaste, holds his hands out in front of him and shakes his head from side to side.
I have to wrestle him down to plant a kiss any where on him.
But when my mom's over and ready to say good-bye, he very nicely leans in and puckers up.
He seems to have no concept of who exactly carried him for ten months. And was cut open for him to be delivered into this world. And who changed 4000 poopy diapers. And got up in the middle of the night to cuddle him when he was upset.
Posted by: Whitney at March 3, 2005 8:05 PM
