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April 4, 2005
Lifestyles of the Semi-Fabulous
From Beth, April's Guest Literary Chick!
I happened to catch the last few minutes of MTV’s "Cribs" while channel-surfing yesterday and I got to thinking…what if MTV did an all chick-lit "Cribs" episode and a bunch of writers had to show the camera crew through their houses. Can you imagine?
"Here’s my office. Yeah, it looks a little chaotic with pink sticky notes and post office receipts covering every available surface, but I have a system going. A system! Those boxes in the corner? Oh, those are all my textbooks that I packed up after grad school and still haven’t gotten around to unpacking. Just ignore that huge stack of Us Weeklys on the file cabinet. That’s, um, research. Yeah. I have to keep my finger on the cultural pulse, you know…
"And here we have the kitchen. I’m on deadline, so that explains the pile of dirty dishes in the sink, the pizza boxes on the counter, and all the M&M wrappers. It does NOT explain the missing kitchen sponge that the dog ran off with and shredded in the back yard, so let’s move briskly on to…
"My luxury automobiles. Okay, my one, non-luxury automobile that’s not all tricked out with DVD players and Cristal coolers. I’m a full-time writer, okay? I drive a damn Ford. And it doesn’t even have a CD player. And the glove compartment is full of notepads, on which I scribble random plot ideas and lines of dialogue when I’m stuck in traffic. If you want Bentleys and Maybachs, you better either call Nora Roberts or sign me up for "Pimp my Ride.’"
"Finally, my fabulous walk-in closet. Look at all the cute shoes that I never wear. Look at all the T shirts and yoga pants that I wear non-stop. You’d think I’d take some of that shoe money and invest in a CD player for the car, but I never learn. And yes, those ARE more back issues of Us Weekly piled behind the shoe rack—you never know when I might need to know what Jennifer Garner wore to the Oscars in 2002. Seriously, I don’t have a problem. I know a lot of people who are way more obsessed with celebrity gossip magazines than I am. YOU’RE the one with the problem!"
Cue upbeat music, roll credits over clip of dog mauling kitchen sponge. What do you think? Should I call up the MTV production offices and start pitching?
Oh, and while you’re here, sign up for the new contest! At the end of the month, I’ll be giving away 5 copies of "Exes and Ohs" and 3 copies of "My Favorite Mistake" and hey, you deserve a little literary pick-me-up. (Lani will divulge all the details on Wednesday. Stay tuned…)
Posted by at 3:07 AM
