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May 15, 2005

Because I said so

From Michelle,

No matter how lovely they are all kids will push you when you say no to something that they either (a) want to possess or (b) want to do, with that endlessly repeated question designed especially for parental torture: "But why not?"

And as a parent I do try to justify my answers to The Teenagers, but sometimes, when pushed and pushed and pushed, there really is only one thing to say.

Example #1

Teenager: "Can I borrow my next month's allowance because I spent this month's already and..."

Me: "But if I lend it to you, you won't have any money next month and then you will want the following month's money next month."

Teenager: "But there's this cool computer game I really want and I promise I won't ask for any money next month."

Me: "This is what you're going to do. Save the rest of this month's allowance, and then by next month you'll have enough to buy the game, anyway."

Teenager: "But that's exactly my point. I'll be buying the game, anyway, so it might as well be now."

Me (attempting to teach value of money and value of longing for something that you have to wait to obtain because the possession will be that much sweeter): "No."

Teenager: "Please, please, pretty please, I promise I won't ask for any more."

Me (feeling mean and horrible): "No, hon, you need to wait until next month."

Teenager: But it's not fair, and at the end of the day it doesn't make any difference when I have the money, because I'll still want the game in two weeks' time when my next allowance is due, anyway."

Me (feeling even more mean and horrible): "No. I've explained why not."

Teenager: "But--"

Me: "No, and I don't want to discuss it any more."

Teenager: "But why not?"

Me: "I just don't think it would be a good idea."

Teenager: "But why?"

Me (getting frazzled): "Because I said so."

Example #2

A Teenager is hanging at a friend's house with some other friends. He has his curfew. He knows what time I am expecting him home and I have told him that this is my final word. He agreed prior to leaving our apartment. And then, half an hour before curfew he calls me...

Teenager: "Mom, the guys are all staying until 2am, so can I?"

Me (feeling mean yet stalwart): "No, that's way too late."

Teenager: "But everyone else gets to stay out until 2am."

Me: "Who? Name me some names and I'll call their moms to see what's going on."

Teenager: "Oh, I haven't got my friends' home phone numbers, only their cell phone numbers."

Me: "Ask them to tell you their home phone numbers then you can tell me."

Teenager: "Actually, Friend #1 said I can stay over if I like."

Me: "No, it's just too short notice and not fair on his parents," I say.

Teenager: "But why not?"

Me: "Because I don't know Friend #1's parents, and I'd rather meet them before you stay over. Plus, it's unfair to ask at the last minute."

Teenager: "But I'm too tired to come home, now."

Me: "Okay, I'll get the metro and come and meet you. I'll be there in fifteen minutes." (Bearing in mind that the public transport system and our bikes are the vehicles available to us, as we live in a city center and do not need a car at $8 per gallon for gas).

Teenager: "But Mom, that makes no sense. You're short and small and it's dark. I'm six feet tall and have a blackbelt in jujitsu."

He does have a point...

Me: "Okay. Well, I'll see you in fifteen minutes then when you arrive home."

Teenager: "But why can't I stay? It's just not fair. Pretty please..."

Me: "Because, hon, I said so."

It's hard sometimes...

Michelle :-)

PS: About the "must have" computer game. Two weeks later when The Teenager had the money to buy it, The Teenager decided that it wasn't worth it because one of The Teenager's friends bought it and told him it was terrible, anyway...

Posted by Michelle at 1:04 PM