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June 22, 2005

20 Things

From Lani, counting down...

20 Things I Don't Get

20. 1001 Elephant Jokes: I guess they're supposed to get funnier as you go. It's supposed to be an accumulated funny. So I'm told.
19. Brussel Sprouts: I don't care if it tastes good. If a vegetable looks like a dead bird embryo painted green, don't eat it.
18. Thong underwear: I understand the panty-line thing, but I don't get paying for a wedgie.
17. Tofurkey: Why Tofu up the healthiest meat on the planet? Seems a little overboard to me. Tofu Philly Cheese Steaks, on the other hand... now we're talking.
16. Bungee jumping: I hear it's an adrenaline thing. Looks like a soil-my-underwear thing.
15. Bungee jumping while wearing a thong: See above. Use imagination. Ew.

14. Every Adam Sandler movie except the ones with Drew Barrymore. Oh, and Happy Gilmore: It still cracks me up when the old Asian lady comes out wearing his hockey jersey: "What you no want breakfast?"
13. Bodybuilders: God bless 'em, they're really fit. Scary, but really fit.
12. Veronica Mars: Everyone loves it. I watch it all the time, trying to figure out why. And I'll watch it again next year. Because everyone loves it, and I'm determined to get it. But I don't.
11. People who saw Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones and still waited on line all day for Star Wars III: I hear III is good, but after the evisceral badness that was AotC, I think you have to wait for DVD just on principle alone.
10. The way potato chips have that "0 Trans Fat!" thing on every bag now: As though, suddenly, this makes them healthy. They're still loaded up the butt with kill-ya-dead levels of saturated fat and sodium. I'm thinking, people who are terribly concerned about that kind of thing are off in the Tofurkey aisle, people.
9. Prescriptions that clear up nail fungus... but cause diarrhea, dry mouth, heart arrythmia, abdominal pain, liver disease, butt tumors and hysterical blindness.
8. $400 dollar shoes: I'll tie rope around your feet and give you debilitating friction sores for half that.
7. Strangers who tell you about their entire medical history while on line at the grocery store: However, they do make me feel better about my own remedial social skills. You know, if we're grading on a curve, they kinda bump me up a bit.
6. Lane and Zack on Gilmore girls: Let's see. She's brilliant, motivated, gorgeous and funny. He says "dude." A lot. 'Nuff said.
5. Tom Cruise: Is it just me, or is he kinda going Michael Jackson? With the crazy, not with the molesting little boys. I hope.
4. Why I will tear the room apart searching for the remote control... rather than take three steps across the room to change the channel.
3. Quantum Physics: Okay. So maybe I'm not alone on that one.
2. Directions on shampoo: If you need to be told to lather, rinse and repeat, maybe you shouldn't oughta be showering without, you know, supervision.
1. People who fill their blogs with lists: I mean, really. Who cares? ;)

Posted by Lani at 2:36 PM | Comments (4)

Comments

Posted by: Amy K at June 22, 2005 11:20 PM

Posted by: Lani at June 23, 2005 5:16 AM

Posted by: Michelle C at June 23, 2005 12:06 PM

Posted by: CathyN at August 31, 2005 1:55 PM