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July 20, 2005

Apparently, I'm a Winter...

From Lani, going for style...

I've developed a slight obsession recently.

I've become addicted to another television show.

This one has drama, and tension, the occasional catfight, and loads of styling tips.

Yep, you guessed it...

... it's What Not To Wear.

When this show first came on the air a few years back, I hated it. I saw one episode with Wayne Scott Lukas (of the 80s glam-rock hair) and Stacy London and they were so mean to the poor victim that I just hated them and the show and I vowed never to watch it again.

But then it came time to go shopping for another writing conference, and I had something of a breakdown. See, here's the thing with me. I have no sense of style. You know how some people are color blind? That's me, only with style. I don't know what looks good on me. I don't know what looks bad. I pull it off the rack, if it fits, I buy it. My wardrobe is basically t-shirts, jeans and lounge pants. A few years back, right before my first writing conference, I got a manicure and the girl asked me what I was wearing and I told her I'd gotten a beige outfit and she dropped all her acoutrements and stood up, screaming, "BEIGE!! HOW CAN YOU WEAR BEIGE!?!?! YOU'RE A WINTER!"

Okay. I'm exaggerating. Slightly. But as God is my witness, everything between the quotation marks is accurate.

So I'm sitting there thinking, "I'm a winter? What the hell does that mean?" To this day, I'm still not sure, but so as to avoid another episode of HOW CAN YOU WEAR BEIGE!?!?!, I thought I'd see what the experts had to say. So, I watched an episode of WNTW.

80s Glam Rock was gone, which was good, because who could possibly take fashion advice from a guy who looked like Sebastian Bach's bastard cousin? Stacy was still catty as hell, but now... I kinda liked it. And the new guy, Clinton Kelly, is like the sixth Queer Eye. He's friggin' adorable. So... I watched.

And you know? The show's not bad. The thing I like the most about it is that they find things that work for every body type, so it's not like one of those style shows where it only applies to you if you're already drop-dead gorgeous. They take a lot of style-phobic schlubs like me and turn 'em into hot mamas.

So... I took their advice.

And... I think I look okay in my conference outfits. But we'll see. Because, you know, I'm still pretty much styleblind. Far as I can tell, my condition is managed, not cured.

On a funny (read: gut-wrenchingly sad) note, the other day I got my hair cut, and after my darling Sweetness (6) saw me with my new hair, she proceeded to go to the bathroom, locate a pair of scissors (HOW???? HOW???? HOW HIGH DO I HAVE TO PUT THEM IN THE MEDICINE CABINET??? PERHAPS I SHOULD START DUCT-TAPING TO THE FREAKIN’ CEILING?) and chop off her gorgeous, flaxen locks for which I would KILL and which she definitely did not get from my genetic train. She walked out, half her hair on her head and half on the floor, and said, "Now I'm pretty like Mommy."

Or some such sweetness. I can't recall, really, because I was saying, "What... what.... what.... WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR GORGEOUS HAIR???"

Once I got over the initial shock, though, I realized it was up to me to finish the cut and lets just say…

… it’s a good thing I never wanted to be a beautician because I suck. Now my gorgeous little girl has boy hair and not just any boy hair no UNEVEN CLUMPY boy hair which I’m going to have to mangle further to try and even up later.

But, bright side, I was wearing one of my new, cute outfits while I cut her hair. Stacy and Clinton would have been proud.

Posted by Lani at 6:00 AM | Comments (3)

Comments

Posted by: Amy K at July 22, 2005 12:06 AM

Posted by: Amy K at July 22, 2005 12:10 AM

Posted by: NicoleH at July 23, 2005 1:31 PM