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September 7, 2005
Better than Cats...
From Lani, whose cold heart might come in handy in Hell...
Not to start the article out on a bummer, but last October, our beloved cat Dashwood died. Diabetes. Very young. Wasn't pretty.
Then we got another cat, CWaP. In a coincidence that defies believability, on the very January night in which I rushed Sweetness to the hospital because she couldn't breathe, and was told to get rid of the cat because it would aggravate my daughter's lungs, CWaP ran away. We never saw him again. It wasn't until I went home from the hospital to get some things a couple days later that I even noticed he was gone. I assume someone picked him up and he's living fat and happy somewhere in this vast, 62-acre apartment complex.
At least that's what I like to believe, because a CWaPsicle? Not a nice picture.
Anyway, since then, we've had to rethink our approach to pets. Basically, until Sweetness is cleared for pulmonary takeoff (so far, so good) we can't have anything furry. We started with goldfish, two gorgeous little swimmers we didn't get a chance to name because Light dumped the entire jar of goldfish food right into the water about five minutes after we got them settled in their new home. Turns out, fish are kinda finicky. They get all stressed when forced to breathe their own food for fifteen minutes while a loud woman frantically changes the water and yells at her kids. Within a few days, to no one's surprise except possibly their own, both fish went belly up.
Not to be daunted, and since I had the aquarium and everything, I asked around about fish that are hard to kill and was told to get a Beta. So I did. His name is Chester. But I have to keep him in my room because... well, just because he's hard to kill doesn't mean he's impossible to kill, and Sweetness and Light have never been known to back down from a challenge.
So, basically, all this to say... I have two kids desperate for a pet who can't really have one. Bright side, they're creative. A few months back, Light adopted a pear.
Yes. That's what I said. A pear.
It was a Bosc pair, all brown and... well, not really furry, but it was brown. At any rate. Light decided it was her pet. She cuddled it and petted it and slept with it and someday her prom date will hear about it. Finally, as the pear was moving into that gray area between healthy snack and compost, I got it away from her and threw it in the garbage like the cold-hearted wench that I am.
Oh, right. Like you'd let your kid sleep with a decomposing pear. What was I gonna do, have it taxidermied? So far, Light seems to be bearing up under the strain.
Not to be outdone by the Pear Incident, however, is Sweetness, who adopted a pistachio shell.
Yes. That's what I said. A pistachio shell.
One day, we were on our way inside from the car and she bent down in the parking lot and picked up a pistachio shell.
Me: Ugh. Sweetness. Put that down. Yuck.
S: Oh! It's Shelly! It's my new pet, Shelly! I love Shelly! (holding it out to me) Look! Mom! It's Shelly!
Me:
Then she proceeded into the house, aglow with pleasure as she petted the shell which someone likely spit out of their moving vehicle.
Of course, as time went by, eventually, Shelly found its way into the garbage as well. Oh, don't look at me that way. It was a pistachio shell. Just because a six-year-old calls something a pet doesn't make it not garbage. You call me after your kid adopts a banana peel. Then we'll talk.
The great thing about being six, though, is that reality really bends to your will. As it turns out, Shelly has a big family. We visit them when we go to the grocery store. And every now and again, when we're walking, Shelly will find us.
Yes, you heard me right. Every randomly discarded pistachio shell in the state of New York is a potential Shelly. Sweetness sees it, yells, "Shelly's come back!" and we take it home, and eventually, I throw it away.
Anybody know of any hypoallergenic cats? Aside from the creepy bald ones? Anyone?
Buehler?
Posted by Lani at 6:30 AM | Comments (4)
Comments
Jacob had pillow stuffing as a pet. Buddy and his family. Did I ever get read the riot act when I sewed up the pillow. Amazingly, Buddy likes to visit OTHER pillows and we see him often *sigh*
You are SO not alone...
Posted by: Jen (MM99) ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at September 7, 2005 9:46 AM
I can halfway relate. We have two cats, in spite of MY allergies to them. But I can't handle dogs...they make me wheeze. So what do you think my older son loves? Yep. Dogs. I feel like the Grinch every time he asks if we can get one. But then I guess a Grinch mom is better than a dead mom.
Posted by: Amy K at September 7, 2005 1:50 PM
Unfortunately, it depends on the cat as to how allergic to it you'll be. You could be worse with a short-hair rather than a long-haired one. Regular bathing can help, but I'd only recommend that if you get a fairly young cat to get them acclimated early (some cats really do like water). And supposedly there are some stuff out there to give your cat to minimize the stuff in their saliva that's bad.
Posted by: NicoleH at September 8, 2005 10:04 AM
LMAO, that was the funniest post ever. That definitely needs to be saved for the wedding day toast, nevermind the prom date. You need to use that one when EVERYONE is around.
Posted by: goodapple at September 8, 2005 5:44 PM
