« Flirting with... Beth Kendrick! | Main | Flirting with Zen »
October 4, 2005
Flirting with... Jennifer O'Connell!
When I first started thinking about the topic of flirting, I have to admit, turning my charms upon unsuspecting men wasn't the first thing that came to mind. I didn't recall my youth spent chatting up cute boys in painter's pants and AC/DC t-shirts, or standing by the lockers batting my luscious eyelashes (painted blue, of course, thanks to Estee Lauder's foray into colored mascara in the 80's). There were no memories of sweet giggles, or even coy glances across cafeterias filled with the scent of Bonnie Bell Lip Smackers and soggy pizza (on Fridays, of course). Instead of all the people I've flirted with, I thought about the things I've flirted with - different careers, moving to new places, attempting new things.
What quickly became apparent to me was how easy it used to be to flirt, to dabble, to approach things playfully. As children we flirt with things all the time. The idea of being a lion tamer one day and a movie star the next isn't looked down upon, it's expected. As we get older, we flirt with the options we have - art school or Ivy League college, small New England campus or the University of Hawaii (who didn't, at least for a moment, think it would be cool to wear a bikini top to class?). Even in college we flirt, with majors, classes, the idea of who we are or who we want to be.
The summer before my senior year of college I studied for the GRE, figuring I'd go straight to graduate school. Once school started I began researching all the advertising agencies in Los Angeles and even set up appointments to meet with them over Christmas break. By April I'd applied to attend a publishing program at Radcliffe so I could become an editor. And, after acceptance to and completion of the program, I moved to Arizona to pursue a non-publishing job in marketing.
In the course of a year I'd flirted with the variety of paths my life could take and the different cities those paths would lead me to. Nobody thought I was crazy for thinking about all the possibilities, for considering a million different options. Of course, I did end up pumping frozen yogurt at the Cultured Cow for a few months when the marketing job didn't pan out. But even if my first job was a bust, I did learn how to blend a perfect chocolate-Oreo milkshake, a skill that will serve me well and provide a fallback career if this writing thing doesn't work out.
But while flirting is acceptable when you're young, it becomes downright unacceptable with each passing year. Adults who flirt with the idea of changing careers are confused, if not downright irresponsible. People who consider buying sports cars past a certain age must be having a mid-life crisis. The idea of picking up your family to move somewhere new for a change of scenery, well, that's just crazy. All of a sudden, people who dabble are unfocused, and people who muse about making a change are unrealistic dreamers.
But that's the thing about flirting. It's not about the doing, it's about the option of doing. When we flirt with people, there's no harm, nobody expects you to marry a cute guy just because you flirted with him while standing in line for a taco. Flirting is harmless, it's fun, and it's human.
Because flirting is about possibility, it's about stretching our imagination and taking it for a walk, even if, in the end, we end up back where we started.
So I continue to flirt, with thoughts of running the Boston marathon even though I've never gone further than a 5k, and the possibility that I will end up in Oprah's audience for her Favorite Things show. I still flirt with the idea that I'll be a US senator, that I'll be president of my alma mater, or that I will learn to sail a gorgeous sapphire blue sail boat around the Caribbean. I will remain a serial flirter, and that's okay with me. I know that even if none of those flirtings work out I can always rely on my ability to making a mean chocolate-Orea milkshake. And flirt with the idea of using vanilla ice cream, even if I never do.
Jennifer O'Connell contributed the essay "A Little Friendly Advice" for Flirting With Pride and Prejudice, available in stores now from BenBella Books!
Posted by Lani at 6:00 AM | Comments (2)
Comments
Oh! That was a little startling. I just finished reading Off the Record, turned on the computer, and there you were! Wonderful story, Jennifer!
Posted by: Darla at October 5, 2005 6:28 AM
Hey, Lani. I'd love to say I planned that, that in addition to writing I can also predict other people's actions and plan things accordingly, but I can't. Instead I'll chalk it up to serendipity. Just because I love saying that word.
Posted by: Jennifer at October 5, 2005 11:58 PM
