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October 10, 2005

Flirting with... Shanna Swendson!

I really should identify with Lizzie Bennet in PRIDE AND PREJUDICE. After all, she's the kind of smart, sassy Everywoman who is the prototypical chick lit heroine (as I suggested in my FLIRTING WITH PRIDE AND PREJUDICE essay ­ see how cleverly I brought that in?). But to be totally honest, I think I have to identify more with Mr. Darcy.

Darcy may be handsome (especially now that for so many of us he eternally wears Colin Firth's face), wealthy, intelligent and an all-around good guy, but let's face it, he hasn't the slightest clue about how to flirt. Dare I say, he's even a bit socially inept. He just hides it well behind that arrogant facade.

Lizzie accuses him of being proud and arrogant, but I have to admit that when I'm at a party, I act a lot more like Darcy than Lizzie. Instead of talking easily with the guests and flirting with the women (who are more than willing to flirt back), he hovers on the sidelines and makes sarcastic remarks about the proceedings to hide his discomfort. Yep, that would be my standard party behavior. It's even worse when he sees someone he finds appealing. That's when all his social skills fly right out the window. His friend suggests he ask Lizzie to dance, and he goes overboard denying he has any interest in her, going so far as to insult her (and come on, we all know he'd already noticed her eyes).

That's definitely a been there, done that scenario for me. If I'm at a party and have noticed a particular guy, the last thing I want is for one of my friends to suggest I talk to him or ask him to dance. If he's within his earshot, that's when I want the earth to open up and swallow me, right then.

I find myself reverting to seventh grade, when it was mortifying to think of a guy knowing you were interested, and I find myself immediately denying any and all interest.

Gee, no wonder I'm still single!

But as we later learn, Darcy is more shy than arrogant. He's an entirely different person when you see him in his comfort zone around his close friends and family. He's not a person who's going to do well at parties. He still struggles a bit with expressing himself ­ who else would declare his love for someone by telling her how horrified he is about feeling that way toward her? ­ but when she gives him a chance, he's more than able to show his admiration for her. He may not be someone who can make witty conversation at a party, but he'll go to the ends of the earth to help you when you most need it.

Maybe that's why Mr. Darcy is one of the most beloved romantic heroes of all time. His shyness and lack of flirting ability make him human. A character like Darcy (especially if he really did look like Colin Firth) who was totally at ease would be almost insufferable. He'd be too good to be true.
But Lizzie can be fairly well assured that he's not going to stray from her.
If he prefers the company of his loved ones and makes a terrible first impression, that's going to make it difficult for him to start an affair with anyone else.

So, while I wish I could be a Lizzie, who can be the life of the party with a clever quip for every occasion and a friendly, open nature, I'm stuck with being a Darcy, doomed to hover on the edges of the party, wishing I could be at home with a good book. But is that really so bad? Do we all need to be good at flirting, or do we need a few people who'd far rather be direct instead of playing games and who'd rather stick with a few close friends than be the life of the party? I just need to get out of junior high and get over that fear of anyone knowing I'm interested. Then maybe I could have a nice, direct conversation with someone I find appealing and give him a chance to see what I can be like in my comfort zone.

Shanna Swendson sold her first book at the age of 24 and went on to sell four more short contemporary romances before the age of 30. She didn't know it at the time, but she was always writing what we now call chick lit, just published in romance novel form. Her latest book, ENCHANTED, INC., was a June 2005 release from Ballantine Books. A sequel, ONCE UPON STILETTOS, will be released in June 2006. Shanna contributed the analytical essay "The Original Chick-Lit Masterpiece" for Flirting With Pride and Prejudice, available in stores now from BenBella Books!

Web site: http://www.shannaswendson.com

Posted by Lani at 6:00 AM