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November 5, 2005
The Naked Truth about Excessive Modesty
From Lani, blushing already and she hasn't even started writing yet...
It's funny, because when we decided to do a theme week on Naked Truth, I didn't really think much about it. Now that I'm here to write the essay, I realize, I don't have a naked story. With the exception of one incident from my toddlerhood which I don't recall, I've never been naked in public. I've never had a costume malfunction. I've just... never. I could blame it on society's imposing impossible to attain body images, blah blah blah, and that's all true enough, but even if I had an ass as smooth and gravity-defying as a nine-inch helium balloon, I think I'd still be the same way.
It's in the genes. What can I say?
My grandfather was a Baptist preacher. My father was a Quaker minister. My mother has always been excessively appropriate. She's never rude, she never swears, she only has the occasional drink, she's never had a cigarette and she's always the picture of modesty. It seems that while I'm rude, crude, foul-mouthed, and typically tipsy, the only thing that makes my mother think that perhaps there wasn't a switch at the hospital is that I'm very, very modest. As a matter of fact, it wasn't until this year that I was able to wear spaghetti-strap tops. Even so, I only wear them at home, because the other thing I inherited from my mother's side of the family are the Gehman knockers which are, to be modest, prodigious.
So, anyway, all this to say... I don't have a naked story. No streaking through campus. No immodest sexual escapades. The closest thing I've got is the time I had a C-section in a university hospital, in which roughly fourteen interns watched as my OBGYN wrenched Sweetness from my naked, beached whale loins. But since most women are naked to some degree while giving birth - it's a bitch to shoot life out the chute while keeping one's Hanes Her Ways pristine - it doesn't seem as though I really have much to offer.
Except that I'm really excited about Alesia's new book!
I'm a cheater. I know. I know.
This loosely themed blog was brought to you by THE NAKED TRUTH, a fiction anthology for which Alesia contributed the story "The Naked Truth about Guys."
Posted by Lani at 6:06 AM | Comments (2)
Comments
Lani, I don't have a naked story either but your birthing story matches one of my own LOL.
Can't wait to pickup The Naked Truth :)
Wendy
Posted by: Wendy Roberts at November 5, 2005 8:00 PM
I should tell you about the time I played strip low card in college - while totally sober and with totally sober people - because none of us knew how to play poker. There were only two of us girls and about eight guys, one of whom was later arrested for raping two other girls in our dorm. It was a blast, but the dealer kept cheating and dealing us the same low cards on purpose. We didn't notice.
And that's only ONE of the nekkid stories I could tell ... bwah ha ha ... go ahead, live vicariously through me.
Posted by: Jennifer at November 6, 2005 2:48 PM
