« Birthdays | Main | Ex Marks the Spot »

November 12, 2005

All My Exes Live In The Internet

From Lani, who just knows she's going to be hearing about this blog for a while...

Good Saturday morning, and welcome to the launch of Exes Week here on Literary Chicks, in honor of the release of Ex and the Single Girl, which hits stores on Monday! Yes, Monday! And, no, I can't say that without an exclamation mark! I'm just that excited! (Learn how you can win one of 10 signed copies here!)

Okay, that out of the way (!) I'm here today to talk about exes, and to make a small confession. I know where most of my exes are.

I mean, not at this moment. I don't have any of them under surveillance or anything. But, every now and again, I'll admit it. I Google a few of them.

I don't know why I do it, really. Morbid curiosity, I guess. I'm only in contact with one or two, and those are only by the very occasional friendly e-mail, and those guys are more friends than exes anyway. The guys that are just exes - the ladies reading this know the difference - I don't make any contact with.

The thing about exes is that, once you're married, they kinda have to cease to exist. Fish isn't a terribly jealous man in general, but something about knowing I'm in contact with a guy I used to... mambo with (Mom reads the blog; use your imagination)... makes Fish start in on his comedy material about how great he is in the sack, how sexy his butt is, etc. He doesn't get angry, he doesn't get overtly jealous or insecure, he just starts in on this comedy routine that is funny but totally unnecessary. I'm not the kind of girl who is quiet about being unhappy. If I was unhappy, Fish would know. That's what marriage is - I promise to love, honor, cherish, and make sure you're the first to know if anything's wrong.

So it's not like I miss any of these guys, or want them back. If we broke up, we broke up for a reason. And yet... every now and again... I do a search. Sometimes the guy will have his own website, other times it's just a mention in a newspaper for participating in a marathon or working on some TV show. (I went to school for television; there are one or two of those out there.) There's one guy that seems not to exist on the internet at all (is that even possible in this day and age?) and I'm a little concerned that there might be some unabomber stuff going on there.

But. Yeah. I look them up. On occasion. And, on occasion, one of them will look me up and send me an e-mail. They heard about the book, saw my name somewhere, or did a Google of their own. I publish under my maiden name, and that's how those guys knew me, so I'm a pretty easy find. And I've been married long enough that any ex I have is pretty much a vague memory, and vice versa.

And yet... for the unabombers I haven't been able to locate... the morbid curiosity rears it's head every so often. It's not that I want them back in my life, old times are old times, but I just wanna know they're well. Successful. Married. Happy. Mostly just happy. And, truthfully, it's the same with old friends, men and women alike. It's just nice to know they're doing well, even if our particular ships have passed so far away from each other that we'll never be really connected again.

But it's the exes that make Fish start in with the sexual prowess jokes. I guarantee, as you read this, he's using the word "girth." But that's okay. I caught the Fish I want; I'm just glad to know the rest are out there, still in the sea, swimming happily in their own directions.

Wow. That might just be my most sincere Literary Chicks post ever. Kinda freaky, huh?

This blog was brought to you by Ex and The Single Girl, Lani's newest release about a family that won't mind their own business, exes that won't go away, and the true love that gets caught in-between.

Posted by Lani at 6:32 AM | Comments (7)

Comments

Posted by: Amy at November 12, 2005 7:45 PM

Posted by: BeeJay at November 12, 2005 8:21 PM

Posted by: Heather Cook at November 12, 2005 10:52 PM

Posted by: Whitney at November 13, 2005 2:34 PM

Posted by: Eileen at November 16, 2005 12:28 PM

Posted by: Jennifer at November 18, 2005 8:10 PM

Posted by: Lani at November 19, 2005 12:56 AM