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December 15, 2005

The Key Issue

From Michelle, seething with frustration over something that should not involve any seething whatsoever...

So, the other day Oh Patient One lost his keys to the apartment.

"No problem," said I, "I'll get a new set organized for you. Really. Piece of, you know, soft, delicious spongy stuff with frosting on the top."

Yes, you guessed it. I spoke too soon...

Now, the main entrance to the apartment has a special security key and can be obtained only from the real-estate managing agent at a cost of $40, but I already know this because I had to get an extra one when we moved in because they only supplied us with two and there are three of us living here.

On the bright side, the other three keys are all, you know, regular ones that you can get cut by a regular locksmith.

So, first thing the next day I call the managing agent and this is what happens.

Me (all confident and chirpy): "Hi! I'm one of your tenants and I'd like to order an additional key to my apartment block, please."

Agency Rep #1: "Let me transfer you to the correct department. Please hold the line."

So far, so good.

So I wait for a bit on the line. And then I wait a bit more. And then I get cut off, so I call back.

Me (still fairly confident and chirpy): "Hi, it's me again. We got cut off. I'm the tenant who would like to order an additional key to my apartment block, please."

Agency Rep #1: "Let me transfer you to the correct department. Please hold the line."

So I wait for a bit on the line. And then I wait a bit more. And finally, after what feels like a million years, someone picks up the phone. Here we go again...

Me (fairly confident and chirpy): "Hi! I'm one of your tenants and I'd like to order an additional key to my apartment block, please."

Agency Rep #2: "I'm afraid I cannot help you. You have to speak to the concierge of the building."

Me (confused): "But. But. But when I needed an extra one when I moved in, I had to get it from you."

Agency Rep #2: "You have to speak to the concierge. I cannot help you." Click.

Grrrrrrrrr...

So a little while later I went in search of the very nice concierge, and when I spoke to him he was completely baffled, because he definitely does NOT supply extra keys for the main entrance.

By now I am no longer confident and chirpy, because I am thinking, "What the hell am I supposed to do, now? Is Oh Patient One doomed forever in the no-keys-to-his-own-apartment department?

But then Nice Concierge says: "I don't understand it. I'll speak to the managing agency, but in the meantime I have a spare key I can give to you. I'll drop it in your mailbox later."

Whew. And he did. Nice Concierge! (I make a mental note to buy him a nice Christmas gift by way of a thank you).

So, all I have to do now is go to the locksmith's store and get the rest of the keys cut. No Problem! Except when I get to the locksmith's on the highstreet, it has closed down. And I haven't seen any other locksmith stores in the city, and I am wondering at this point if everyone here is so organized and careful that they NEVER, EVER lose a set of keys.

Then I have a Bright Idea. I'll check out one of the big department stores, because they're bound to have a department for, you know, key cutting and shoe mending and whatnot, aren't they?

"I'm sorry, madam," Very Nice Store Person tells me. "We don't offer that service."

And by now I am a desperate woman. I mean, all I want for Christmas is a set of keys. Is that too much to ask? Is it?

"But I know a place nearby that does," Very Nice Store Person adds.

Lovely, lovely, Very Nice Store Person. If I, you know, actually knew her I'd kiss her but I manage to restrain myself to a bright, beaming smile.

And then she tells me where to go, and it's in the metro station, which is ultra convenient because it's on my way home, so I trip down to the store and hand over the three keys to the locksmith and order one copy of each.

Locksmith (holding out the key for our ACTUAL APARTMENT): "Sorry, madam. This one is a special kind of key and I can't copy it."

Me (by now completely stressed out over the bloody key situation): "But. But. But I've had this key copied before by a regular locksmith, and it definitely wasn't anything special, and he definitely copied it for me. I promise. Hand on heart."

Locksmith (with a bit of a steely, unamused thread in his voice): "This is a special kind of key and I cannot copy it."

So I stomped off home and went to find Nice Concierge, and blurted out the story to him, and he told me it was ridiculous and the locksmith was obviously delusional, and why didn't I try the locksmith on the Goudse Singel because that particular locksmith is very helpful.

Oh, there's a locksmith on the Goudse Singel? You learn something new evey day...

So I did trip down there, and the Goudse Singel locksmith was really helpful, and it took him, like, a minute to cut a copy of the apartment key, and now Oh Patient One can finally let himself in to his, you know, place of residence.

Whew!

Michelle, who cannot beeleeve the hoops she had to jump through!

Posted by Michelle at 11:57 AM