« Punctuality is for Wimps | Main | The unbearable lateness of being »
January 10, 2006
I'm Late, I'm Late...
From Michelle, The Rotterdam White Rabbit
You know, I really am anal about being late. I never mind if someone else is late, but I hate it, I absolutely hate it if it's me, because I always start out with such great intentions, and then I'm ususally late, anyway, so "someone else" is already there at the appointed time waiting for yours truly.
But there's one thing for which I always plan on being late and that is...
... the cinema.
See, I get really impatient when I have to sit through ad after ad after ad for oh, cars and laundry detergent and toilet paper and stuff, so I usually plan to arrive just after the boring ads, and in time for the movie trailers, so I can see what great movies Coming Soon To A Theater Near You are coming soon to a theater near me.
So, on Sunday, Teenager No #1, Teenager No #2 and I went (finally!) to see the new Harry Potter movie. And yes, we timed it perfectly, because the boring ads were done and now for the movie trailers, yay!
Picture this: There is this young English guy on screen. He tells us that he is a new movie director, and his very first movie (about which he is very excited) features a frustrated wannabe mom-to-be who hijacks a sperm donor clinic.
Yes. You read that right.
Anyway, Young English Director proceeds to show us around the actual clinic he used to make the movie. We see reception, we see the private rooms where the donors, you know, make their donations, we see the magazines and videos they use to get inspired, and we see the jars they use to contain all that inspiration.
And then Young English Director goes on to thank all the male sperm donors who masturbated into jars, because the movie couldn't have been made without them.
At this point I am wondering if we are somehow in the wrong movie theater, because there are lot of kids in the theater, and I am also fairly happy that Teenager #1 and Teenager #2 are beyond the age when they would ask difficult questions very loudly in public, like, "Mum, what does masturbation mean?"
Anyway, turns out it was an ad for the Rotterdam Film Festival.
I nearly fell off my chair laughing.
And If you have any weird, peculiar ad stories, I would love to hear them!
Michelle
PS. Harry Potter was brilliant and I am going to see it again at the weekend with Oh Patient One. Can't wait to see if they have any more masturbation trailers, LOL. Or maybe they will show the TV ad which features a very attractive young woman discussing her bowel movements, and how much more regular she's been since eating a certain type of yoghurt.
This blog was brought to you by Beth's latest release, Fashionably Late, a story about love, family, fashion... and what a difference it can make if you're just willing to rip out a seam or two.
Posted by Michelle at 9:29 AM | Comments (10)
Comments
See, this is the difference between U.S. and European theatres. You just don't have ads featuring masturbation when you go to a children's movie here. And, while I know that much of the world thinks that the U.S. is prudish about sex, I'm not sure that's such a bad thing under the circumstances.
What's next? Condom ads playing right before Toy Story 10? Actually, just sitting in a movie theatre with several hundred screaming children is an effective enough form of birth control all on its own . . .
Posted by: Whitney ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at January 10, 2006 10:21 AM
And they wonder why movie attendance is down?
Posted by: Eileen at January 10, 2006 10:52 AM
LOL, I hear you, Whitney!
And as for condom ads, well, they have them on during the daytime over here. I once watched what I thought was a kids cartoon, because it helps with my Dutch. The "cartoon" featured these little bright colored bobbly things all bobbing around - yes, they were talking cartoon condoms!
Ah, gotta love those talking condoms...
Posted by: Michelle at January 10, 2006 11:08 AM
LOL, Mesheroo! You kill me. And by the way? The kid shouting, "HEY MOM WHAT'S MASTURBATION?" That will be my kid. Of course, if we were in Rotterdam, very few people would understand it. Although, knowing my kids, they'd learn to say it in Dutch just because you can't pass up that kind of opportunity to humiliate your mom.
Glad you enjoyed the movie otherwise, though! I thought it was great - will definitely see again!
Posted by: Lani at January 10, 2006 11:28 AM
We went to the cinema cafe to see Wallace and Grommit this weekend (another British import, Mesheroo) and they had the rap music soundtrack going that had particularly vile language, which was fairly funny, because halfway through the first verse of every other song, the person up in the sound booth would yank it and change to something else. Why they didn't stop it completely is beyond me. So we have a theater full of kids and the pre-movie bit where you order your pizza and popcorn and whatnot is done to the soundtrack of something like:
Bust a cap! Do her in the [yank]
Got my truck! Now let's [yank]
Don't be a wussy! Get some [yank]
Seriously.
Alesia
Posted by: Alesia Holliday at January 10, 2006 11:45 AM
ROFL!!!
This is why I don't bring my younger brothers out with me if I can help it--and living where I do means it's very unlikely there'll be such an ad when I catch Harry Potter.
Posted by: May at January 10, 2006 11:58 AM
Lani, LOL, believe me, you wouldn't suffer less embarrassment over here if your kid yelled "HEY MOM WHAT'S MASTURBATION" because the Dutch all speak great English.
Posted by: Michelle at January 10, 2006 12:38 PM
How funny...
Posted by: TeresaH at January 11, 2006 2:36 AM
Re: European condom ads. There was a billboard here in our town that took me the longest time to figure out: it was a teddy bear made of condoms. I didn't see why a stylized teddy bear made of circles was a mascot for AIDS prevention, but it was pretty cute.
In my defense, it was shortly after we moved to Germany, and I wasn't used to seeing condom ads.
Posted by: Darla at January 11, 2006 10:17 AM
OMG! I thought I'd seen it all over here, from innocently walking around the park and inadvertently into the nudist area, to the blatant billboards for plastic surgery (showing bare boobs before and after shots)!
Thanks for the condom teddy, Darla!
Michelle ROFL
Posted by: Michelle at January 13, 2006 7:25 AM
