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January 16, 2006
Knocked Up
Sanity who?
No! It's not what you think. But I gotcha, didn't I? Today's blog is not about being pregnant, which I'm NOT, thanks to a wide variety of preventative measures which include but are not limited to The Head Cold From Hell That Will Not Go Away (thanks, I named it myself), scheduling conflicts, various pharmaceutical agents (when just one isn't enough to express how very much you do NOT want to get pregnant again) and the children we already have. That last one, by the way? Veerrrrry effective. The following is a dramatic re-enactment of something that happens in my house very often.
Fish: So, I was thinking...
Me: No kidding? Really?
Fish: Maybe tonight, you and I--
We are interrupted by the girls either a) crying because someone real or imagined has touched them/stolen their favorite toy, b) jumping up from behind the couch and yelling "BOO!" then laughing hysterically at us while we attempt to suppress various nervous twitches.
Me: So, yeah. You were saying?
Fish: I hear there's a Law and Order marathon on today.
Me: Sounds good.
But, no, believe it or not, this blog isn't about getting pregnant or being pregnant. It's about knock-knock jokes.
Now, you may not have noticed, but I have a thing about humor. I love it. It makes me happy. I've tried to pass on my sense of humor to my kids, but because my humor tends to be the fast-talking, Gilmore girls kind of tommy gun rat-a-tat-tat, mostly they just stare at me, wait until I'm done, and then ask again if they can have some juice.
Then, a little more than a year ago, I got the grand idea of teaching Sweetness the following knock-knock joke:
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Aw, don't cry about it! (erupts into furious giggles)
Seems pretty harmless, right? Kinda cute? You imagine a five-year-old telling this joke and it fills your heart with daisies and sunshine, right?
Now imagine it a hundred thousand times later. You see my problem.
Kid needs a new knock-knock joke. I've tried to teach her a few, but the only one that's clicked is the "Banana-Banana-Banana-Orange" joke, which will often get stuck on the "banana" setting for what feels like an ear-bleeding eternity. I almost prefer Light's variety of knock-knocks, which include naming whatever is closest to her, and ending with the punch line from "Boo." For example.
Knock-Knock.
Who's there?
Flame-thrower.
Flame-thrower who?
Aw, don't cry about it! (erupts into furious giggles)
Sidenote: I don't actually have flame-throwers in the house, but it sounded better than the things I do have around the house which she tends to pick, like "dirty sock" or "old nasty tissue under the couch." I figure, it's a blog. Gotta keep things interesting.
So, you see my dilemma. I need new knock-knock jokes, and I'm turning to you to leave 'em in the comments for me. They don't have to be good, necessarily, they just have to be new and appealing to your average preschool-kindergarten set. Or, if you have any dirty ones, you can share those, too, and Fish and I will have a good laugh. After all, that Law and Order marathon will only last so long...
Posted by Lani at 7:56 AM | Comments (11)
Comments
Oh Lord, and I thought I was the only one afflicted by this! Sorry, Lani. Can't help you. If I could, I would not be rapidly turning gray!
Posted by: Cate at January 16, 2006 9:04 AM
Here are some kid-friendly ones: http://www.ahajokes.com/knock_knock_jokes.html
I read a few of them and some I either don't get or will be too much for your youngest to remember. However, it's a large collection and there are several that I did read (I only got through the first 2-3 pages) that young ones will get a kick out of (Knock Knock; Who's there?; Acid; Acid Who?; Acid down and be quiet!--okay, that's lame, nevermind). They're alphabetical and there are loads of pages.
Really, I just Googled for "Knock Knock Jokes." Easy peasy. :)
Posted by: Brianna at January 16, 2006 11:13 AM
Aw, come on, Catie. I know you've got one or two good ones to share...
And Brianna, thanks for Googling for me. I realize I could have done that, but then there'd be no knock-knock party here, and my life would be less fulfilling. ;) But... is it just me or was the acid one pretty cute? Maybe I've just heard "Boo" too many times...
L.
Posted by: Lani ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at January 16, 2006 11:34 AM
Here's a knock, knock joke that used to crack up my kids...
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Tish
Tish who?
Bless you
Well, I never said it was a GOOD knock, knock joke...
Posted by: Michelle at January 16, 2006 12:31 PM
I have no knock knock jokes, however I've just come over after reading the Sarcastic Journalist's blog entry this morning (http://www.shenuts.com/), titled: Birth Control for the masses. I think you can relate.
Posted by: Holly at January 16, 2006 12:53 PM
Ah, reminds me of the good old days when, due to a long series of events, Thing Two used to sidle up to people and say, "Mr. Chicken's at the door" and then race off laughing hysterically.
Posted by: Eileen at January 16, 2006 1:02 PM
As heard in my house - several million times each:
What did the boy mushroom say to the girl mushroom? I'm a fungi. (You must say repeatedly, like five hundred times, immediately after: "Get it? FunGI? Like FUN GUY? GET IT? GET IT?"
"Who was the fastest president? Hurry S. Truman. GET IT??? LIKE HARRY BUT HURRY LIKE HURRY UP - GET IT?? GET IT???"
"Who was the tallest president? Dwight D. Eiffel Tower. GET IT? EIFFEL TOWER?? LIKE EISENHOWER??"
Posted by: Alesia Holliday at January 16, 2006 2:15 PM
I worked as a nanny through college, and this one was my boys' favorites:
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Dwayne
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!
(glug, glug drowning noises optional)
Posted by: Wendy at January 16, 2006 2:16 PM
My favourite knock-knock joke:
Knock knock
Who's there?
Isabelle.
Isabelle who?
Isabelle really necessary on a bike? Not if you have a horn, beep beep!
The beep beep is VERY important.
Posted by: Shelley at January 16, 2006 2:25 PM
This isn't a knock-knock joke but one of my (and the kids') favorites:
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
V. cute from a 5 y/o.
Posted by: MoMMY at January 16, 2006 3:00 PM
OMG. I think I pulled a muscle in my diaphragm or something from laughing so hard. I read this to my DH, who was shocked to find that families with girls go through the same thing with the exact same jokes that our boys tell. Repeadtedly.
Here are a couple more that my eight year old loves:
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it's freezing out here.
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Mikey
Mikey who?
My key won't fit in the lock.
Oh, one more...
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Letter
Letter who?
Let 'er in, she's been knocking.
Yep, high comedy at my house!
Posted by: Teble at January 16, 2006 9:56 PM
