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January 19, 2006
BFF (Best Friends Forever)
But why?
My best friend just left. She’s been visiting for the past week from Wisconsin. She is not my only best friend (I am not actually in junior high anymore, I’m just immature), but she has had tremendous staying power (twenty-five years and counting). As always, when she leaves, I’m left saddened by the geographical distance that separates us and bemused by the fact that we’re as close as we are and have been for such a long long time despite the fact that we are nothing alike.
Okay. Not totally true. We’re about the same height which in Wisconsin had people often commenting on what good portage partners we would be. One of the differences between us is that she knew immediately that they were talking about canoes and I thought they’d said something dirty.
We both have dark hair and blue eyes and Irish first names. She, however, is actually of Irish descent. I’m some sort of genetic fluke coloring-wise and my parents were so convinced that they would not have ANOTHER girl that they’d only picked one name: Andrew. Eileen is the result of some scrambling on my parents’ part and a musical called, “My Sister, Eileen.”
On the other hand, she’s a hydrogeologist which means she can do math (I cannot) and loves science (I don’t get it) and is relentlessly logical about everything (I am so not). So logical, in fact, that I occasionally want to take her by her shoulders and shake her until she throws out her “pro” and “con” charts and goes with her heart for once. I refrain from this because she never takes me by the shoulders and shakes me until I actually think things through for once rather than leaping in heart first.
Interestingly enough, despite our different approaches, we often come to the same conclusions. For instance, we are both using the same laundry detergent right now. She’s using it because she can’t stand all the perfumes in the other detergents. I’m using it because Thing Two breaks out in a rash if the detergent isn’t perfume and dye-free. Different reasons for being there, but we’re still there at the same place.
Okay, it’s kind of a lame example, but I feel like it’s a metaphor for our friendship (and, yes, if you saw the movie ADAPTATION, you can now yell “for what?”). So, I’m curious. Are my Bestie and me typical? Is there something in the nature of friendship that has us choosing someone who is some kind of a mirror-image doppelganger? Someone that’s both like us and entirely different at the same time? How alike are you and your Bestie?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Posted by Eileen at 11:47 AM | Comments (10)
Comments
Eileen, what a lovely, evocative subject...
A "Bestie" for me is someone who is there for me through thick and thin, no matter what.
A "Bestie" for me is also someone whom I love to pieces but sometimes (because of geography or life or whatever) is not someone I see, or correspond with on a regular basis - mebbe a Christmas card - but the next time we actually see each other or correspond (no matter how much time might have lapsed in between) it's like we saw each other yesterday and we're right there on that page, together.
Michelle, counting her "Bestie" blessings, and vowing to be in touch with them imminently. You know who you are.
Posted by: Michelle at January 19, 2006 4:06 PM
Oh, Michelle, you totally get it. Those friends of your heart are like miracles, aren't they?
Posted by: Eileen at January 19, 2006 5:06 PM
None of my close friends live anywhere near me, due to our frequent moves, but thank goodness for e-mail and international calling plans! :) And conferences and trips to New York and good wine. Any time I can get together with my best friends is celebration time!
hugs,
alesia
Posted by: Alesia Holliday ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at January 19, 2006 6:22 PM
I haven't moved as often as you have, Alesia, but I know what you mean. It's funny to see what forms those celebrations take, too. I think we had the most fun on this visit while making a banner for Thing Two's soccer team. Nothing like re-bonding over tiny pieces of felt. Of course, since my BFF was in charge of figuring out the markings on the soccer ball, they are, for the first time in my banner-making career, absolutely mathematically accurate.
Posted by: Eileen at January 19, 2006 7:36 PM
When I lived in the Seattle area, my first best friend (and today is her birthday) lived in Portland and then in Alaska, but I have now moved to Vermont and we just have to have long, long phone calls. We have been BFs since high school, although we went through a 20 year lapse while she married and had babies and I remained single and immature. At Just The Right Time, she came back into my life and we've been close ever since.
I'm lucky enough to have two additional BFs (they live in Seattle), but all three happen to be Capricorns. I don't put a big stock in astrology, but I think it's a little unusual. I'm a Virgo, another earth sign.
Lovely post, thanks Eileen.
Posted by: Holly at January 20, 2006 9:16 AM
You know, I've got a handful of those people - mostly girls, one or two guys - who are just best friends forever. No matter how long you go between visits and phone calls, it's always like old times whenever you get together. With some, we're opposites, and with others it's like a weird twin thing, but the one thing that's the same is the level of comfort we have with each other. It's a really precious type of relationship; thanks for posting about it, Eileen!
Posted by: Lani at January 20, 2006 11:11 AM
Hi Eileen,
Just read your peice about Mo and laughed and smiled the whole time. I haven't done blogs before so we will see if this works. This is a fun website and I still don't really understand blogs. Ohwell, I don't really understand cellphones either, and mine works fine, thankyou.
Posted by: gene wells at January 28, 2006 12:11 AM
Gene!
It absolutely worked! I don't understand how it works either. Lani does all that and even she occasionally admits defeat.
Posted by: Eileen at January 28, 2006 2:30 PM
lokks like fun
Posted by: audrey slay at June 25, 2006 6:46 PM
hey...i understand wot u mean....i actually have a best friend and we've only been best friends for a couple of months and i can say that no one can ever take her place...sometimes when i think about it...it seems so unreal to have become so close to someone even when you are soo different. she realli is a good best friend.
Posted by: sahar at July 19, 2006 11:08 PM
