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January 24, 2006
Misbehaving Nuns?
So, language...
I warn you now, if you are in any way fainthearted and disapprove wildly of bad language, do not click the "continue reading Misbehaving Nuns" link below. Do not read on then blame me for corrupting you. Do not send me all the bills for the endless sessions you needed with your therapist to get you through the fact that sometimes I curse. Nope, do not pass 'Go.' Do not collect $200...
This is another conversation I had with Oh Patient One the other day...
Oh Patient One (with a naughty, teasing glint in his eye as we are cooking dinner): "By the way, the good people in Human Resources told me today that I should get fucked."
Me (with mouth hanging all agog in a very unattractive fly-catching manner): "No! Why? That's outrageous! The Bastards!!
Oh Patient One (inexplicably grinning): "Oh, not in a bad kind of 'fuck off we never want to see you again' kind of way, but in a good kind of way. Oh, and I have to do it for a whole week. Non stop."
Me (now outraged): "But. But. But. Our sex life is absolutely none of their business! I know they have to worry about the welfare of the staff and all, but this goes beyond the bounds." And then, "A whole week? Non stop? What do they think we are? Superhuman sex addicts?"
Oh Patient One (inexplicably about to fall on the floor laughing): "Oh, believe me - Human Resources are not interested in our sex life. Not a bit. Apparently, I have to do it with the nuns."
Me (now utterly confused): "What? Stop! Start over, and this time tell me what the catch is, because I have met the good people in Human Resources and do not believe for one moment that they are either (a) trying to corrupt some poor, innocent nuns, or (b) trying to wreck our marriage."
Oh Patient One has finally given in to his bout of mirth and is now falling around the floor laughing.
Me (sniffing a lot indignantly because I know that there is a punchline to this joke, but I am the only one still in the dark about it): "Okay. Hahaha. Great. Now tell me what the joke is."
Oh Patient One (between gasps, still clutching his stomach): "Your expression is priceless!" And then, because my expression is pricelessly looming thunderstorm-ish, "It's Vucht, but it sounds like fucked. It's a retreat. A speak-only-Dutch-for-a whole-week kind of retreat. With nuns."
Oh Patient One dissolves into another bout of mirth.
I stand there for a few seconds with a dignified, miss-ish, holier-than-thou expression on my face. And then I give up and join in the falling-around-the-floor-laughing thing.
Ah, language differences. Gotta love them.
Michelle
Posted by Michelle at 8:28 AM | Comments (7)
Comments
Ah, at our house, it's not a language barrier, it's a hearing barrier. Certain people, despite knowing they have hearing problems, keep insisting that the rest of us mumble.
My latest favorite was while we were on vacation and I asked, "Do you want to have breakfast here?" and he heard, "I want to get my chakras cleaned."
Posted by: Eileen at January 24, 2006 11:25 AM
Hmm. Certain people around here have that problem, too. But it's astonishing how we all suddenly hear so well if the topic is food, LOL.
Posted by: Michelle at January 24, 2006 1:18 PM
Oh, now THAT's funny! It's my new line. "Get Vucht!" LOL!
Posted by: Lani ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at January 24, 2006 2:20 PM
Methinks Oh Patient One has another side of him: Unholy Wicked One.
Posted by: Holly at January 25, 2006 12:40 PM
LOL, Holly, Yes, he does have another side to him - after all the years with me corrupting him (in a good kind of way), it's a "must." What can I say? He likes to tease (and so do I), but it sooo makes for an interesting, fun life !
PS. He's adorable, but don't tell him I said that!
Posted by: Michelle at January 25, 2006 1:51 PM
Hee hee!
Posted by: Whitney at January 25, 2006 7:27 PM
Hey, I resemble that! It's not the remnants of my boyhood dream of being a rock star. And y'all DO mumble. All the time.
WHat was that again? Your chicken has flown the stairmaster?
Posted by: Cowboy at January 26, 2006 10:40 AM
