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February 14, 2006
Surefire tips for a blissful love life
brought to you in part by Home Depot...
Crap. I didn’t realize it was Valentine’s Day until I read Whitney’s post. Darn holiday snuck up on me this year. So I just rushed out to the drugstore to procure a valentine for Mr. Tall, along with a super size box of Kleenex (I made the mistake of getting on an airplane 10 days ago and have been riddled with germs ever since) and the place was chock full of desperate guys, all of them drenched with flop sweat while scanning the racks of frilly red cards with wild eyes. And now…I’m one of them. We’re gonna have to change the name of this blog to 5 Literary Chicks and 1 Clueless Guy With Really Well Conditioned Hair. Pray for me.
Anyway, in honor of V-Day, I figured I’d pass along my top 3 relationship tips. We’ll start with my personal mantra:
Happiness is having separate bathrooms
Mr. Tall’s job requires him to work crazy, erratic hours, and he’ll often get up at mythical hours of the morning, like 4 a.m. Now, I’ve heard about 4 a.m. But I don’t want to see 4 a.m. And I definitely don’t want to see anyone else at 4 a.m. So, early in our marriage, Mr. Tall took over the guest bathroom. The guest bathroom is "his," the master bath is “mine” (I get the good shower with the fancy “misting” showerhead, mwah ha ha). This has led to a détente of all squabbles over counter space, beard trimmings in the sink, and what, exactly, I need with 87 bottles of moisturizer. Now if we could just call a truce in the ongoing land war for closet space…
Never, ever remodel your kitchen
My mother shared this pearl of wisdom when I was about 21 and I laughed her to scorn. But since then, I have to say, I’ve seen a LOT of couples split while the contractors install the new cherry cabinets. I’m not sure whether the kitchen overhaul is a cause or a symptom of the relationship problems, but either way, I’m scared straight. You know what they say: remodel in haste, repent at leisure.
Avoid shopping for furniture together whenever possible
Well, unless your spouse is like Whitney and has an unerring ability to select fabulous pieces guaranteed to pull the whole living room together. Then, by all means, shop away. But I am willing to bet that most husbands/boyfriends are not at all like Whitney, as evidenced by the large number of shrieking couples I’ve witnessed in recent weeks while shopping for a sofa to replace the one Friday ate.
So there you have it--that's the best I've got. What? I’ve only been married for two years. Check back with me in about a decade. In the meantime, let’s all stop for a minute on this Valentine’s Day and remember what’s really important. It’s not the flowers, lingerie, or jewelry.
It’s the fact that the Easter candy will be out on the shelves starting tomorrow. Pick up a bag of Cadbury Mini-Eggs for me.
Got a surefire love tip of your own? Hit me!
Posted by Beth at 1:08 AM | Comments (13)
Comments
Beth, I try never to go food shopping with Oh Patient One because we end up spending twice as much money on all the little goodies that seem like such a good idea at the time!
Happy Valentine's Day, Everyone!
Posted by: Michelle C at February 14, 2006 7:17 AM
My tip is to have separate computers. It's definitely a lifesaver in this household. We've been married about two years, too.
And Easter candy? It's already on the shelves here.
Posted by: Nicole at February 14, 2006 7:28 AM
Excellent advice all around. I never bring George shopping for furniture. I pick out what I want, and then show it to him, and say, "This is the XXX I'm getting for the XXX."
He once said he didn't like something I'd picked out, and I said -- with complete surprise -- "Did you think I was giving you veto power? You don't have veto power. Only I have veto power. Silly man."
Whitney, who was only just last night eyeing the kitchen, and thinking how much better it would look with a backsplash . . .
Posted by: Whitney ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at February 14, 2006 7:37 AM
Loved the hints.
The best piece of advice I ever received was asking yourself when you're getting ready to fight with LoveOfYourLife, "Is this a hill I am willing to die on?" Amazing what crap you can let slide and how much peace there will be if you do that. (Now, ask me if I do that all the time, or mainly forget until we are in the middle of the argument...)
Posted by: Missie at February 14, 2006 1:43 PM
My mom just called me from Tiffany & Co. and said it's a bloodbath over there today. She says there's men of all ages shoving $$ at salespeople and shaking like junkies.
Posted by: Beth at February 14, 2006 1:58 PM
I saw them putting out the Easter candy while I was shopping today. V. scary. although... I think I spied some Robin's Eggs. My absolute favorite candy EVER.
Posted by: MoMMY at February 14, 2006 2:49 PM
Actually, in our house it is my DH with the impeccable taste. I don't even shop for my own clothes any more--he just comes home with something and tells me I will look great in it and he is always right! As for furniture--well, I can have an opinion but it usually comes down to what he likes! Fortunately I am not picky and we have pretty much the same taste in stuff, so that makes it easy all the way around...
Posted by: Sheri at February 14, 2006 6:58 PM
did you know that if you put those hideous Peeps in the microwave they blow up into enormous mutant gamma-ray infused monsters?
it's very funny, especially if you add vodka. (to yourself, not the Peeps)
A.
Posted by: Alesia Holliday at February 14, 2006 7:14 PM
Our relationship rules are, as follows:
1) Friends first.
2) Always use birth control.
3) Whenever possible, be happy.
Of course, the house rules (made with Things One and Two in mind) are:
1) Be kind to each other.
2) Never drink water you've put your feet in.
3) Never ever dig up dead pets.
Posted by: Eileen at February 14, 2006 7:21 PM
Now that makes two times in two days I've heard the kitchen remodel thing. How very scary. Of course, I also heard, "First comes the book, then the divorce," from a ton of people right after my first book sold. So far, so together. I like the separate bathrooms thing, though. I think that works for me. ;)
Posted by: Lani at February 15, 2006 6:27 AM
So true about the furniture shopping thing. My husband has such strong opinions when it comes to decorating that I usually throw my hands up and say "Do whatever you want," which I really don't mean, of course. We still haven't replaced an old battered coffee table because we've seen every coffee table in Southern California and can't agree on a single one!
Posted by: Brenda at February 15, 2006 12:31 PM
Hi Beth,
Great post. :) Good advice. I enjoyed meeting you at the STAR conference.
Rachel
Posted by: Rachel Hauck at February 15, 2006 4:43 PM
Cool house rules, Eileen!
Ours are:
1. Dance every day.
2. Be kind to people.
3. Never ask questions till Mommy has her coffee.
Alesia
Posted by: Alesia Holliday at February 16, 2006 8:26 AM
