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March 2, 2006
Love Is A Battlefield
or at the very least, a putting green...
Some men are obsessed with fantasy football, others with real football, and still others with exotic European sports cars that can go 0 to 60 in 5.8 seconds and are guaranteed to get hot chicks and astonishingly poor gas mileage.
Mr. Tall? He’s obsessed with golf carts.
Yes, you read that correctly. While I agree that this is kind of a bizarre obsession to have, I should say, in his defense, that golf carts are all the rage out here in Arizona. And not to drive around the golf course. Please. That’s so banal. The thing to do is to fit them up with headlights and seat belts and certify them as street legal. Then you tool around your neighborhood, maybe speed down to the library if you really want to live on the edge. Take the corner on two wheels. It’s sort of Wisteria Lane meets The Brady Bunch.
Some of our friends (should you ask Mr. Tall, he will claim ALL of our friends) have golf carts of their very own, and he is consumed with envy. Whenever I ask him what he wants for Christmases, birthdays, anniversaries, the answer is invariably, “a golf cart.” Pointing out that we have two actual automobiles cuts no ice. The peer pressure is crippling.
And here’s the kicker: he doesn’t want a tricked-out, brand new 2006 golf cart. He wants a vintage model from the 70’s that’s three bolts away from scrap metal.
Me (peering over his shoulder at the latest golf cart listing on eBay): But that’s a junky piece of crap. Look, it doesn’t even have a fender anymore.
Mr. Tall: But I could fix it! It’d be fun.
Me: You didn’t seem to think that fixing the pool filter was very fun.
Mr. Tall: That was different.
I don’t understand, but I love him. And God knows I have a few frothy-mouthed obsessions of my own (dogs, anyone?) So I promised him that if I ever hit the New York Times bestseller list, my first order of business will be to buy him a golf cart. A really thrashed, rusty one.
Ah. True love. Try to hold back the tears.
So what freaky obsessions do you all have? Don’t be shy! ‘Fess up!
Posted by Beth at 12:58 AM | Comments (9)
Comments
my obvious obsession---books!
Posted by: TeresaH at March 2, 2006 5:27 AM
I of course have no obsessions- simply interests. As in, I am interested to know just how many handbags I can own before it becomes obscene. My husband however, he is obsesed. He builds robots. Not remote control robots because any Radio shack geek could do that- instead he builds autonomous robots. Our basement looks like the uni-bomber decorated it.
Posted by: Eileen at March 2, 2006 12:08 PM
Lamps. I’m weirdly obsessed with lamps. So much so, my New Year’s resolution this year was, I RESOLVE NOT TO BUY ANY MORE LAMPS.
And then I went out the next day, and bought one. But just the one, so I’m doing better.
(Well. I did place an order for another lamp, but it’s currently backordered, so technically it doesn’t count. And it's a desk lamp, which I desperately need. Really.)
Posted by: Whitney ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at March 2, 2006 12:45 PM
LOL, Beth! I love the golf cart idea - I had no idea this was the rage in AZ! Total proof that it's been way too long since I've visited!
For Fish - the obsession is metal detectors. He has been wanting one for ages, talking about how he's gonna go out and find all sorts of historically relevant artifacts. When, in fact, what he'll do is spend a currently-relevant grand and then... play Warcraft.
As for me - it's a toss-up between Colin Firth and Hello Kitty. Both are cheesier but cheaper than the metal detector, though, so I don't feel so bad... ;)
L.
Posted by: Lani at March 2, 2006 6:50 PM
Chairs. Yes, to the point where my family teases me incessantly. I love chairs. I obsess over finding the perfect reading chair. I finally settled on one that I inherited from my Godmother. It's this great green furry 50's chair with amazing lines. Since I can't replace that for sentimental reasons, I am now out of space for my chairs. I do, however, have a stack of small plastic stools from IKEA in a corner. The other day I was at a thrift store and they were selling 2 leather club chairs with ottoman for $150 a piece! It almost killed me not to buy them and stuff they willy-nilly into my civic. Hey, I got bungee cords! Loyalty to my godmother prevailed. sigh I need a bigger house!
Posted by: Kelley at March 2, 2006 8:06 PM
Snow globes. I'm not sure it really counts as an obsession. I collect them. It's like a hobby. That's different, right?
Posted by: Eileen at March 2, 2006 10:49 PM
Eileen--
"Hobby." Riiight. That's what they all say in the beginning...
Posted by: Beth at March 2, 2006 11:56 PM
I'm with Whitney and the lamps:-)
I just walked around my apartment and we have 17 lamps. One set of 3 the same, two sets of 2 the same, and the remaining 10 are all different.
(Plus I have about 4 or 5 in the lockup that wouldn't fit in the apartment.)
Michelle
Posted by: Michelle C at March 4, 2006 7:33 AM
It's called a COLLECTION and it's my husband's thing--he has HotWheels. Lots of them. Hundreds of them. He used to have them pinned to our walls at our old house and when he ran out of room in our bedroom he started on my son's room! They each had their own collection, but the son sold his to buy his first car. DH still has all of his cars, still in their packages, of course, because otherwise they aren't worth anything, but now he keeps them in big Rubber Maid containers--I put my foot down when we moved and told him I wasn't decorating our new house in Hot Wheels! We once went on a trip to Reno/Tahoe and spent most of the time digging through bins of HotWheels at every KMart and WalMart we could find!! THAT is an obsession! Me, I just collect books whenever I can afford to by my favorite authors. Considering I have a couple of walls full of books, I think I am doing pretty well in that area!! ;~D
Posted by: Sheri at March 7, 2006 7:23 PM
