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March 23, 2006
The Anti-Lonely Hearts Club
No, I won't marry you
I''m not trying to be difficult, really I'm not. We blog about brides, and I talk about grooms. We talk about lonely hearts, and I talk about marriage proposals. :) It's just that my wonderful fellow Lit Chicks used up all the good stuff, so my mind, being the dark and devious, troll-like thing that it is . . . naturally gravitates to the BAD.
Like marriage proposals. And the ones I've received in my relatively short life. All TWELVE of them.
Not that I'm counting.
There's something about me. Some pheromone. Or the fact that I have wide hips and some primitive throwback to Neanderthal in a man's brain thinks: Grunt. Good breeder.
I don't know what it is. All I know is that I had a lot of men wanting to get hitched. My record is on the third date.
Yes, I ran screaming away from that man.
I wrote a character in my book NICE GIRLS FINISH FIRST, Kirby, who has never once been invited to a man's mother's for Sunday lunch. It was like writing science fiction for me, because I have met Moms. Tons of Moms. Once, even on a first date. Mom was -- SURPIRSE!! -- on our dinner date.
Yes, I ran screaming away from that man.
I was never one of those women who played bride dress up as a little girl. I never read a copy of BRIDE magazine. I didn't care about ever getting married - I was more interested in being an international spy or brilliantly successful jewel thief. I wanted danger, I wanted glamour, I wanted adventure and foreign lovers.
Men clearly saw me as somebody who ought to be barefoot and pregnant.
Yes, I ran screaming away from those men.
When I finally met Navy Guy, I made it pretty clear that I wasn't the marrying kind. I even turned him down the first time he asked me out. (Today is our 10th wedding anniversary, so you can see how well THAT worked out.) But I've always had my own life and my own career and my own adventures, even when I was pregnant (shoes optional).
And, being in a sometimes old-fashioned world of the military dominated by men who think women should be at home putting dinner on the table, I cherish this overheard conversation:
Military friend to my Navy Guy: I can't believe your wife works, dude. How can you stand not to have dinner ready when you come home?
Navy Guy, smiling at me: Dude, my wife just bought me a truck.
Here's another great thing about marriage: no new proposals in the past ten years. And I'm looking forward to having a hand to hold for the next ten or fifty. No Lonely Hearts here. Damn, I'm lucky. :)
hugs,
Alesia
This blog was brought to you by The Lone Star Lonely Hearts Club, Susan McBride’s latest Deputante Dropout Mystery!
Posted by Alesia at 2:17 PM | Comments (16)
Comments
happy anniversary alesia!!!
luv ur fan britt
Posted by: brittney at March 23, 2006 2:46 PM
You crack me up. Other than thinking that you are secretly living my life, I have no idea what else to say. I've had the pleasure (or misfortune?) of getting 6 different engagement rings. I only ran screaming 5 times though. The one I kept, the one I still wear, was actually given to me after the proposal, when MY navy guy asked me to marry him, at 12:17am, on an aircraft carrier, in the middle of the Persian Gulf, during an air raid of Iraq in 1998. He bought me the ring two months later in Florence. He really should have waited though, rings are expensive on the Ponte Vecchio bridge, and he could have gotten something much bigger somewhere else. But I love this ring more than any other piece of jewelry I own. Thanks for reminding me it's so nice to have a hand to hold. (And I just bought my hubby a truck for Christmas last year. Too weird.)
And HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!
Posted by: dee at March 23, 2006 3:43 PM
Happy Anniversary!
So, tell, tell: what did Navy Guy get you? He always out-does himself on holidays, so I'm picturing you typing away with three dozen red roses on your desk and a new diamond tennis bracelet twinkling on your wrist.
Posted by: Whitney ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at March 23, 2006 3:50 PM
Thanks, Britt!!! Dee, your story is amazing!! I think we ARE twins separated at birth! (although you're probably the cute one).
Whitney, we're going to be moving yet again next year (and saving to buy another house), so I nixed the hints of big jewelry. We bought ourselves a very nice Bose entertainment system on sale at the BX, though. Now I can watch my cheesy horror flick faves with mega surround sound. mwah ha ha!! (and the diamond tennis bracelet was at year 5, I think . . . what can I say? I'm gonna keep this guy). Although, when we were just starting out and fairly poor, he did things like drive from San Antonio Texas to Pensacola Florida in a straight shot so he could spend five hours with me before he had to turn around and drive back. Ten years, five states, two kids, and three dogs. What an inventory!!
hugs,
Alesia, who hears from the kids this very second that Navy Guy just showed up with roses. hee hee.
Posted by: Alesia Holliday at March 23, 2006 4:02 PM
Hey, at least you were smart enough to run from Third Date Proposal Guy. I, on the other hand...wasn't.
(Course, it had been (a) two long miserable years of being single, and (b) I had some serious dying-parent pressure on to get married off before Dad died, and this dude was my last chance of pulling it off before that event occurred. No, I didn't go through with it.)
But still. Never getting engaged again. Nooooo. I have no brains in this arena.
Posted by: Jennifer at March 23, 2006 4:23 PM
Jennifer, sometimes pressure is a big and ugly thing, especially when your heart and intentions are so pure. Hugs on your dad - I lost mine way too early, too. And what was that book about brilliant women and their bad choices in men? I think I was the poster child for that one . . .
hugs,
Alesia, off to the pre-anniversary dinner anniversary dinner, which is going to involve a restaurant with crayon menus. sigh. my life is so glamourous.
Posted by: Alesia Holliday at March 23, 2006 5:06 PM
LOL!
I've not been proposed to yet (thank goodness) but I've never dreamed of white picket fences either.
I really like that story of Navy Guy telling his friend that you bought him a truck.
And I can't wait for my copy of Blondes Have More Felons!
Posted by: May at March 23, 2006 5:08 PM
At least you got asked. I, too, seemed to inspire men to think of white picket fences and babies. Why??? My usual experience was, on the second date, something like, "When we're married we'll live in..." or "When we're married, you'll quit your job..."
Seriously, these guys were seeing something that just wasn't there. My rule got to be to never date anyone I wasn't willing to at least consider marrying, which eliminated much of my dating pool. Sigh.
Posted by: ZaZa at March 23, 2006 5:34 PM
If choosing bad men is a sign of brilliance, I should be signing up for MENSA. At least they make good background for my writing... right? Someday I'll kiss the right frog... I hope I hope I hope.
Congrats on 10 years!
Posted by: laurenjharwood at March 23, 2006 6:22 PM
Hi May! Thanks! And be sure to let me know what you think of BLONDES. :)
ZaZa, you are hilarious!! >>My rule got to be to never date anyone I wasn't willing to at least consider marrying, which eliminated much of my dating pool. Sigh.<< This rule would have knocked out my entire "musicians with long hair and no job prospects" phase . . .
Thanks, Lauren! And MENSA is not really a great dating pool, either, although one of my proposals DID come from a guy I met at a meeting. He was one of the "run screaming away" guys, though, so that's not really a recommendation.
hugs,
Alesia
Posted by: Alesia Holliday at March 23, 2006 7:50 PM
I was only proposed to by one man, twice. The first time we had gone to get movies from the rental places grand opening and in the car on the way out he turns to me and says "WIll you marry me?". Sweet right? Add in the special effect of him having just sucked on helium from the free ballooon the store gave me! Crazy me, I married him. Still together after 13 years of marriage!
Posted by: Brandy at March 23, 2006 10:48 PM
Brandy, congratulations on 13 years!!! He sounds terrific! and funny as heck, which is an absolute MUST in husbands, don't you think?
hugs,
Alesia
Posted by: Alesia Holliday at March 24, 2006 8:07 AM
Congrats on the anniversary. It sounds like you got yourself a great guy. Does he have any great friends to send this way? I swear that you got all the proposals, and I can't get the confirmation on a second date. But I guess that it takes all kinds of guys in the world. I hope your day was fun.
Posted by: Hope at March 24, 2006 8:59 AM
Thanks, Hope!! And it took me a looooong time to find the great one, trust me. lol
hugs,
Alesia
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