« There's a Battle? | Main | The Battle of the Nose Job »
April 6, 2006
He Said, She Said
Want to know what he's really thinking?
So it’s Battle of the Sexes week here at Literary Chicks. And I just so happen to have the inside scoop on the main difference between men and women.
Besides the obvious, I mean.
Years ago, a male friend told me the truth about men:
“Men are constantly thinking about sex. In fact, they picture themselves having sex with every woman they meet,” he said.
“But that’s impossible,” I said, assuming he was exaggerating. If it were true, it would mean that when a man is walking through a public place – like, say, a mall – he’d be so busy picturing himself in bed with the hundreds of women he’d come across, it would be paralyzing.
“Yes. It’s very difficult,” my friend said sadly.
“How about elderly women? Or extremely ugly women?” I asked.
“Pretty much everyone,” he said, shrugging.
“Huh,” I said, trying to wrap my mind around this.
My husband claims it isn’t true.
“I don’t picture myself having sex with anyone other than you,” he said, when pressed on the subject.
But then his is not exactly an unbiased opinion, so I’m still suspicious.
I can’t even imagine it. If, for example, while winding my way through the grocery store, I started to picture myself in flagrante with every butcher, stock boy and bagger that I tripped upon, there’s no way I’d remember that we needed an extra gallon of milk or that we were out of parmesan cheese. What with all of the mom stuff I have to remember, and the household stuff, not to mention the writer stuff, there simply isn’t any room left in my head for a 24-hour sex channel.
Then again, maybe I finally have an explanation for why, when my husband does the grocery shopping, he’s incapable of remembering that we need anything unless it’s written on the list . . .
Battle of the Sexes Week is brought to you by Don’t Look Down, Jenny Crusie and Bob Mayer's new Romantic Adventure, in stores April 4th!
Posted by Whitney at 8:18 AM | Comments (7)
Comments
Cowboy says your friend isn't entirely correct. He says men are also wondering what time the game starts.
Eileen R
Posted by: Eileen ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at April 6, 2006 11:08 AM
I rarely post comments anonymously as I'm too addicted to the click back traffic, but I feel compelled to hide myself when I make the following comment.
You're friend is pretty much correct in what he said to you. Most men, most of the time, think about sex and having sex with every woman they see. Married men or 'attached' men are no different. If a man is walking 10 steps behind you, you can bet he's staring at your ass and thinking happy thoughts.
Just thought I'd clear that up, as you've had surprisingly few comments - obviously the male conspiracy to keep women in the dark as to our true nature is still being enforced.
Posted by: D at April 8, 2006 4:31 AM
Ha! I KNEW IT!!!
But seriously, how do you get anything done?
Posted by: Whitney at April 8, 2006 10:07 AM
We don't.
Haven't you ever wondered why men are so hopeless when it comes to shopping or getting stuff done? We can generally manage to get the car fixed, or buy things in a hardware store - but then you tend not to encounter many women in places like that.
OOPS! I've broken the code. We're not supposed to tell anyone...
Posted by: D at April 8, 2006 11:08 AM
D, thanks for breaking the guy code, because I can now delude myself that Robert Plant once imagined having sex with me. Oh, happy day :-)
A few years ago I was at the launch of Led Zeppelin's DVD in Manhattan, and the band members were there in person (except for poor John Bonham, of course).
I was close to the front of the theater, and briefly, very briefly, I thought that I made eye contact with Robert. At least, I *think* he saw me. Even though it was a packed audience. Even though there were a lot of lights shining in his eyes, and he probably couldn't see a thing. Even though I was standing on tiptoe to peek around the taller, bigger person in front of me, LOL.
Michelle
Posted by: Michelle C at April 10, 2006 7:58 AM
I was sitting in my favorite neighborhood hangout, reading a book about how hormones affect our behavior (or something along those lines). This cute little waiter, who was a bit of a ditz, came over to ask what I was reading.
"It says here that men get a rush of testerone ever 10 seconds."
He gets this look like a light buld just went on. "Oh, so that's why I think of..." he looks at me, looks away, "...stuff every 10 seconds." LOL! They can't help it. It's their lot in life.
Posted by: ZaZa at April 15, 2006 11:48 PM
You guys are the 71067 best, thanks so much for the help.
Posted by: Caty Tota at August 4, 2006 10:40 AM
