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April 8, 2006
Battle of the Sexes, Redux
Because a battle isn't any fun if there's no blood...
Q: Did writing Don’t Look Down give you any insights into how the other sex thinks?
Jenny: Why, yes, I did get some insights as to how men think while writing Don’t Look Downwith Bob. But you know, insights are overrated. For example, when Bob doesn't want to answer a question, he just ignores my e-mail. I think that's carrying the strong silent type too far, but Bob sees it as Conflict Avoidance. Or just Avoidance. Wilder does the same thing in Don’t Look Down; his catchall response to any time Lucy gets angry is, "I'm sorry." Of course, he's nailed when she says, "For what?" And since he knows better than to say, "I'm sorry you're angry," he's pretty much stuck. I enjoyed writing that scene. Or there's the whole men are logical, women are emotional problem. If I send Bob an e-mail that's about Feelings, I get one word back, "Huh?" Yes, I am going to kill him one day, and write "Huh?" on his forehead with magic marker.
Jenny: (cont'd) Lucy had a hell of a time getting Wilder to express his feelings in Don’t Look Down. Well, I had a hell of a time getting Bob to write Wilder expressing his feelings anyway. He resisted having Wilder say "I love you" until three hundred romance writers hissed at him in Reno, then he wrote a scene in which Wilder yells it at Lucy across the cargo bay of a helicopter while his best friend made jokes about it. I finally ripped it out of his hands and wrote it in a different place. He was very relieved. I think typing the words almost send him into cardiac arrest. So insights as to how men think? Yeah, I got some. Now if I could just get rid of them . . .
Bob: The question is: Do women think? Women seem to emote. Then think. Which puzzles men. There's a scene where Wilder apologizes to Lucy. And by the end of the book he still has no clue why he apologizes. He just knows it was the right thing to do at the right time. I just watched Double Indemnity and there's a classic scene where the male and female lead meet in a drug store. Their murder plan has fallen apart and they're trying to figure out how not to get caught and they're apprroaching it from completely opposite ends: he's being rational and she's being emotional. Yet they're both right. And both wrong. If they could only meet in the middle they could work it out. But they can't because they can't communicate. Neither is willing to let go of the way their looking at things to try to the other's point of view. Also, neither is willing to think their own point of view might have serious flaws-- even though it does.
Another issue we had in the book was sex and love. Wilder had no problem having sex in the four days the book took place over. With two different women no less. But the 'I love you' thing caused him great trouble. Lucy had no problem with the 'I love you' thing by the end of day two. The sex thing thing though in four days was big trouble. Men. Women. Big trouble in opposite directions.
Posted by Lani at 6:41 AM | Comments (4)
Comments
It sounds like you're having a blast on tour!! And of course with the caveat "some" men are logical, "some" women are emotional . . . I'm definitely in the "think first, emote second . . . or third . . .or fifteenth" category. Which may be why I have trouble writing YEC too!
Alesia
Posted by: Alesia Holliday ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at April 8, 2006 12:53 PM
There's nothing worth than emoting and then thinking about what you just emoted and wishing you hadn't emoted at all... of course the only logical thing to do at that point is to eat something dessert-y and rewrite what happened in your head and keep retelling it to yourself until you're utterly convinced that's the way it really happened.
Not that I'd ever do that.
Posted by: laurenjharwood at April 8, 2006 1:43 PM
"Do women think?" Really, Bob, you are treading on dangerous ground with a remark like that!! Good thing you have two more free passes with Jenny or she would have clubbed you already with Moot! I like to believe that I think first, emote much later. I find that if you are dealing with things emotionally you make poor decisions that are not based on facts and it is a really bad place to be in ANY situation. I am the one friends turn to in an emergency because I can keep a level head no matter what--there is plenty of time for reaction AFTER the emergency is over! So no, I don't "emote"--I think. Therefore I am.
Posted by: Sheri at April 8, 2006 1:53 PM
Bob said: "Do women think? Women seem to emote. Then think."
Sometimes I'm in the think first, emote later camp. And sometimes I'm in the emote first, think later camp, LOL.
Great blog, can't wait for the next installment, guys!
Michelle C
Posted by: Michelle C at April 10, 2006 6:41 AM
