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May 6, 2006
Crazy Little Thing Called Love
Never say never . . .
The day George and I married, just moments before walking down the aisle (we eloped, so not only did I see my groom before the wedding, we drove to the chapel together . . . if it’s true what they say about that being bad luck, we’re pretty much screwed), I turned to him, and said, “Before we get married, I need you to promise me two things: (1) that you’ll never ask me to go camping, and (2) you’ll never ask me to move to Texas.”
George is from Texas. Born and bred. He even, for a time, had one of those “Don’t Mess With Texas” t-shirts, before I accidentally sent it through the wash with two cups of bleach.
Me, not a fan of the state. And if this offends any of the two bazillion Texans out there, I’m sorry, but here’s the cold truth: your state sucks. It’s big and hot and full of people who think I talk fast, just because I can spit out a simple sentence in under ten minutes. As Dave Sedaris has pointed out, the word pen is not supposed to have two syllables.
And just moments before pledging our wedding vows, George looked at me, his eyes shining with love, and said, “I promise.”
So imagine my surprise when, a scant two years after our wedding day, I found myself crammed into a U-Haul truck with George, our two dogs and all of our belongings, driving to our new home in San Antonio.
Somewhere around Texarkana, George turned to me and said, “I really promise I’ll never make you go camping.”
“Two things,” I said indignantly. “And they weren’t even hard promises to keep, like salary requirements or bans on adultery. Although, now that I mention it, adultery is out, too.”
“That goes without saying,” George said breezily.
So that’s the craziest thing I ever did for love: I moved to Texas. And then, three years later, we moved away. Mostly because I spent every day for three years, saying something along the lines of, “Texas! The one place I didn’t want to move to!” until George tired of hearing me say it, and agreed to move to Florida. (Which is also big and hot and full of people who walk very slowly, but it’s near the ocean, which makes me happy.)
Come to think of it, that move, the one to Florida, might be the craziest thing George has ever done for love. So now we're even.
This blog was brought to you by Getting Even, Kayla Perrin's sexy new novel about what happens when Mr. Right messes with the wrong girl...
Posted by Whitney at 6:00 AM | Comments (6)
Comments
I don't think you use enough hairspray for Texas . . .
Posted by: Alesia Holliday ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at May 6, 2006 8:26 AM
Whitney, my only experience of Texas was a conference, and I didn't really leave the hotel, but I am so with you on the camping :-)
Posted by: Michelle C at May 6, 2006 10:07 AM
Oh gawd--I would live ANYWHRE pretty much EXCEPT Texas! I'm totally with you on this, Whitney! I spent a couple of days driving through it on the way to New Orleans, and all I could think as I stared at the endless miles of sage brush and dirt is "Why in the hell are Texans so damn proud of their state?!" They can have it, ALL of it--damn, we should have let Mexico keep it! As for camping, I love to camp--nothing like sitting under a sky full of stars with a cup of hot cocoa in one hand and a marshmellow roasting over a roaring campfire in the other, happily anticipating wrapping the marshmellow in chocolate and graham cracker. Yum!
Posted by: Sheri at May 6, 2006 10:59 AM
Oooh. But I love Texas! Then again, I'm a horse girl and Texas is most definitely horse country. I'm Canadian... my husband is American. He hates Texas - he was stationed at Fort Hood.
I live in Alberta, which is lovingly referred to as "just like Texas, but in Canada" because we have all the rednecks of the country, oil, gas, horses, cattle...
I keep asking to move there, but my husband keep saying no. :(
Posted by: Heather Cook at May 7, 2006 12:08 PM
Tex Ass, indeed.
Posted by: Julie at May 10, 2006 2:48 PM
Hello,
Your blog cracks me up i laugh aloud daily ;-)
Posted by: Kerrilee at June 1, 2006 4:33 PM
