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June 2, 2006
My Imagination is on the Fritz
I'll bet Sears has a warranty for that, right?
I know you might find this hard to believe, considering how much time I spend here waxing poetic about CWaPs and Smoothaise and husbands who dress like pimps... Oh, by the way, that was the secret word to which I was referring last week - Christina is the big winner - be sure to e-mail me for your signed copy of The Comeback Kiss, girl!
Oh. Where was I?
Yes. That, given the wide variety of things I discuss on the site, you might find it hard to believe that sometimes I have trouble coming up with things to blog about. (Um, okay, so maybe given the number of times I come on here and just ramble away about nothing, it might not be that hard to believe. But give a girl her delusions, okay?) Making interesting blogging even more difficult than usual is the fact that I've been shoulder-deep in house stuff (t-minus two weeks to moving day!) and have been obsessing about lawn mowers and washing machines and wallpaper removal which, while completely fascinating to me at the moment (do you know that Lawnboy makes the cutest green mowers? The Home Depot people kept trying to talk to me about features, but pfffft. The green is adorable), this may not be the stuff of which great blogs are born.
So, this morning, I turned to The Imagination Prompt Generator, because even though I tend to think of these things as total and complete horse dookey, well... desperate times, etcetera. So, I've decided that I'm going to blog on the first five things the Almighty Generator gives me, no matter how lame they might be. Wish me luck.
1. Does God care? Um...
Well...
Actually, I think.........
Oh, for crying out loud. Seriously? I'm expected to tell you what God thinks? Don't better people than me get struck by lightning for that sort of shit? I mean, I would feel arrogant enough speaking for my husband - not that this stops me - but God? Seriously?
Next.
2. Did you have a favorite TV show as a child or youth? Or radio show? Okay. Now this is more like it. Yes, as a child and/or youth, I used to love Moonlighting. Still do, as a matter of fact. Everytime a new DVD comes out, I snap it up and have a lost weekend. Of course, I used to tape the episodes and had them all on VHS until the DVDs came out - and that's a looooonnnnnng time - so I already know all the shows by heart. As a matter of fact, let me see if I can recall a random scene purely from memory...
DAVE: We're looking for a man with a mole on his nose.
BOUNCER: What kind of clothes?
DAVE: What kind of clothes?
BOUNCER: What kind of clothes do you suppose?
DAVE: What kind of clothes do I suppose would be worn by a man with a mole on his nose? Who knows?
BOUNCER: Who knows?
DAVE: I don't know what kind of clothes, or anything else, except that he's Chinese... a big clue by itself.
MADDIE: How do you do that?
DAVE: Gotta read a lot of Dr. Seuss.
Totally from memory. I'll look it up and see how close I was, but I'm betting pretty close.
Um... should I be proud of that? Hmmm....
3. Brainstorm 10 titles to your dream book. Oh. Stake. In. Heart. I so suck at titles. I mean... really suck. My original title for TIME OFF FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR was BOOM. Which, actually, I prefer. MAYBE BABY was FLIPPING THE BIRD, which I loved but which wasn't a big hit with the conservative Walmart types. EX AND THE SINGLE GIRL was originally THE MIZ FALLONS, which I also preferred. THE COMEBACK KISS was originally ALL SHOOK UP, but I actually prefer THE COMEBACK KISS, although I hated that title when I first heard it. So, in the world of literary title marketing, I'm hardly a whiz kid. And there's no way I'm going to come up with ten, but I'll play until I run out of gas.
Messy, Brave, and Weirdly Lovable. Someone once described one of Anne Lamott's books this way, and to this day, it's something I would love for a reviewer to say about me. I think it would make a great title, too.
The Girl Behind The Curtain. I had a lot of Oz references in THE FORTUNE QUILT (coming from NAL in February '07) and kinda wanted this title. Although it wouldn't have really made sense, since my heroine was hardly running the show of her life. But I like references like that.
The Lady Doth Protest. I actually have a book under this title - it's unpublished and will likely stay that way. I love it, but it needs a major rewrite and right now I've got enough on my plate. It's basically Stephanie Plum in Alaska, and I really want to get to it someday. However, I'm 100% certain that if I do, this title will be the first to go...
Okay. That's enough. I'm tapped. Told you - I suck at titles.
4. The perfect personality is... Well. Um. I basically have issues with the pursuit of perfection, because I find it ill-founded and destined for failure, so this question at its essence goes against everything I believe in. But, that said, I'd have to say the perfect personality is one that accepts its own imperfections with grace, humility and humor.
What? I can be sincere.
5. Describe a perfect spring day and activities on that day. Oh, man. I just used up my sincerity for the day, so I would say that the perfect spring day is one in which my Fairy Godmother descends upon the house, waves her wand, and cleans my house while I go to the movies with Fish and the kids. Only, we can all sit in the movies together, but while the kids are watching the latest treacly kids movie, Fish gets to watch his horrible violent movie, and I get to see something dreamy with Colin Firth. Then we all leave the theater happy.
Is it sad that my perfect spring day means going to the theater?
Sigh. That sounds really good. I'm off to buy a lawnmower. Have a great one!
Posted by Lani at 8:10 AM | Comments (10)
Comments
LOVE the Lawnboy Green. It's way superior to the John Deere Green. Seriously.
Eileen
Posted by: Eileen ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at June 2, 2006 11:27 AM
I hear you on "Flipping the Bird."
My original title idea for "Fashionably Late" was "Label Whore." Inexplicably, no one else went for it.
Posted by: Beth at June 2, 2006 1:26 PM
Excuse me, did you say something about Time Off and Good Behavior or some such thing? LALALALA NOT LISTENING.
Sorry, that book will always be BOOM to me. And THE LADY DOTH PROTEST does not need major re-write. Folks, her first draft of that puppy was practically perfect. And yes, Lani, I am considering the funky/odd ending when I say that. All that needs is a teensy bit of thinking through.
Good luck with the LawnBoy!
Posted by: Cate at June 2, 2006 1:49 PM
Erm,
Light My Fuego?
My only consolation is that it wasn't my suggestion.
FWIW-- I like both FLIPPING THE BIRD and LABEL WHORE. But I'm bad that way.
Posted by: Barb at June 2, 2006 2:48 PM
Eileen - thank you. The Lawnboy green is a very peppy, happy green. I like it muchly.
Beth - now what is wrong with LABEL WHORE? I love that. I think that when you get to be NORA ROBERTS big, you should demand that they re-release FL as LABEL WHORE. Because Nora could pull that off. She could break Walmart.
Cate - ah, I love you, babe. You're too kind. The book doesn't just need work, it needs work. But, you're right - TIME OFF will always be BOOM. I think it's a superior title.
Barb/Caridad - LIGHT MY FUEGO. Yeah. I forgot about that.
But I think I win the ultimate bad title showdown with TIME OFF FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR. I mean, come on. There was no prison in that story. Seriously. Gar.
Posted by: Lani at June 2, 2006 4:06 PM
BALANCING IN HIGH HEELS was supposed to be DANCING NAKED UNDER THE MOON. The title change alone required a major rewrite. No. I don't want to talk about it. I'm fine. Really. I said I was fine.
Eileen
Posted by: Eileen at June 2, 2006 4:17 PM
I adore your titles, Lani, and I hope SOMEDAY you'll actually be allowed to USE one of them!
Though I must say, after hearing your example, I am not even bothering to think of titles for anything novelish I write any more. If I get it published, it's not like I'm going to be allowed to pick what it's called anyway, right? :P
Posted by: Jennifer at June 2, 2006 4:56 PM
I don't know, babe. I might be at least tied. My very funny book about the mishaps of life as a military spouse? I called it E-MAIL TO THE FRONT: OPERATION ENDURING MILITARY SPOUSE and suggested a cartoon of a woman waving a flag, holding a baby in one hand and a toddler by the other, while the dog is trying to bite the toddler's diaper off. What I got? a photographic image of trailer trashy looking people waving goodbye to their Army husband while they all stood IN THE DESERT, because of course we all FLY TO THE DESERT to wave goodbye to our spouses. And the title? Oh, right. Very very catchy: E-MAIL TO THE FRONT: ONE WOMAN'S CORRESPONDENCE WITH HER HUSBAND OVERSEAS.
Yeah. Seriously.
I could never remember the entire title in the TV interviews. I'd say something like "E-MAIL TO THE FRONT, with letters overseas or something."
ONE WIFE'S CORRESPONDENCE WITH HER HUSBAND OVERSEAS. Doesn't that just SCREAM witty to you???
AARGH.
Posted by: Alesia Holliday at June 2, 2006 8:29 PM
Ah, Titles, And How They Get Changed.
CALL WAITING began life as 9 1/2 INCHES, but it was considered just a bit too risque for certain booksellers (and no, that 9 1/2 inches doesn't refer to what you think it refers to...)
The German publisher of CONFESSIONS OF A SERIAL DATER asked if it could change the name to KISSING IN CABS. Hmm, so I guess it's going to be KUSSEN IN KABBEN. Or similar. Those of you with a better command of the German language, please feel free to correct me :-)
Posted by: Michelle C at June 4, 2006 10:12 AM
Here's to hoping that someday I can rant as wittily as you, Lani, about how some schmoe changed my cool title.
I also think you're titles are awesome. And you WILL be as big as Nora, and be able to call your books whatever you think they should be called. Really.
I say that with absolute conviction, as I finished off EX last week. I really adored it, and can't wait to get back to the bookstore and get some more or your stuff.
Excellent. And I don't use that word very often.
Well, ok, around here, when it's about many of the books by LC members, I seem to use it often. But other than that, hardly ever. Really.
And I totally agree with the Colin Firth movie thing. I am reading the Flirting with P&P as well, and your submission had me AND MY HUSBAND rolling, mainly because he finally realized I'm not the only one...
Posted by: dee at June 5, 2006 8:11 PM
