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June 5, 2006
The Birthday Gauntlet
I have survived!
At first, I was afraid. I was petrified.
No. Not of 70s disco (although there are some scary moments there!) or even of ironic covers of 70s disco. I tremble with fear at having a streak of four birthdays in my family in the space seventeen short days.
It starts with Thing Two on May 15. Then there's my birthday on May 24, followed by my mother's birthday on May 27. We cap things off with Thing One on June 1. By then, I am seriously sick of cake and it takes a lot to make me sick of cake.
In any year, this all requries a delicate balancing act. It's important that everyone feels that their particular day is special, that they have been lauded by the family in similar, if not identical, ways and that gifting has been fair and aboveboard. This year, however, my mother turned 80, an impressive accomplishment all by itself. To turn 80 and be so beloved and respected by friend and family is even more stellar and completely eclipses piddly numbers like twelve, fourteen and forty-four.
Back in March when we were discussing this, Sissy #1 and I decided we should throw her some kind of special party. We informed Sissy #2 of our decision and she agreed. What else could she do? She was already outvoted?
Then the fun really began.
There is nothing like watching three grown women who are used to running their own households and entertaining in their own way wrestle over throwing a party that each one wants to be an incredibly special evening that will speak to someone of the love, respect and adoration they hold for them. To say that there were moments that weren't pretty, is to put it mildly.
Venue, menu, guest list. Everything was a series of negotiations requiring hours of phone conversations and then several more hours of conversation after the decision was finally made to re-hash the decision behind the back of whatever Sissy got her way. Which meant basically that Sissy #2 and I spent a lot of time on the phone because Sissy #1 does have a knack for getting her way.
Whining aside now, the party was on Saturday (we waited until my niece was back from her semester abroad in France -- an easy decision for us all to agree on). It was fantastic. Yeah, it was a little hot outside. Yeah, my brother-in-law didn't start the grill until Sissy #1 stood up in front of all the assembled guests and threatened him with bodily harm. Yeah, some guests invited other people to come with them and left us scrambling for chairs at the last minute.
But at the end of the night as I was loading my mother into the car, she looked at me and said, "I have never had such a birthday. Thank you."
Posted by Eileen at 10:52 AM | Comments (12)
Comments
Happy birthday to your mom. It sounds like it was wonderful.
And I totally love that venue and menu rhyme...
Posted by: laurenjharwood ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at June 5, 2006 11:38 AM
Happy Birthday, Eileen's Mommy!!!
Posted by: Alesia Holliday at June 5, 2006 2:28 PM
Ooh. Alesia knows my not-so-secret. Yes. I still call my mother "mommy." And Daddy was Daddy until the day he died. And obviously beyond, too. Perhaps Sissy #2 is right and we are a little overly enmeshed . . .
Eileen
Posted by: Eileen at June 5, 2006 3:09 PM
I think it's completely cool that you call your mother "Mommy."
I call mine Joanie. As in, "of Arc."
And Happy, Happy Birthday Eileen's Mommy!
Posted by: Barb at June 5, 2006 3:52 PM
It's less than cool when I'm arguing with her. When you say, "I'm a grown woman and can make these decisions for myself, Mommy!", it doesn't sound grown-up or like you can make those decisions.
Now why do you call your mother Joan of Arc? Does she lead you into battle?
Eileen
Posted by: Eileen at June 5, 2006 4:12 PM
Classic martyr syndrome. The things she does for her children! And do we appreciate it? Nooooo. Never. But that's okay. She'll just do for us until she can't any longer, then she'll sit, alone, in the corner, in the dark...
Posted by: Barb at June 5, 2006 5:17 PM
Ahhh, got it. At least she isn't hearing voices that tell her to sit in the dark . . .
Posted by: Eileen at June 5, 2006 5:58 PM
Happy Birthday Eileen and Mommy and to things one and two.
We did the same last year for the father in law. Drove 14 straight hours for a surprise lunch for the big 90. The things we do for love. Plus we also got a nice cape cod vacation out of it so it was worth the trip.
Posted by: cindy at June 5, 2006 6:34 PM
Happy Birthday to all of you!!
I really feel for you. We have our gauntlet in December. Our anniversary is the 8th. HIS birthday is the 14th. #3 is the 21st, and #2 is the 24th.
I totally understand the balancing act of perfect gifts, and parties, and making everyone feel equally special. #2 got the shaft for so many years, as his is Christmas Eve. Now we've gotten smart. It only took us 11 years! #3 celebrates a week BEFORE, and #2 celebrates a week AFTER Christmas. Luckily they are only a year apart, so I don't have to do two parties. They only get parties when they are turning an even number, or 13.
Not fair? Hey, you do what you can when you have six kids, right?
Posted by: dee at June 5, 2006 7:47 PM
Ahhh--that was sweet, that your mother enjoyed her party so much. Made all the other stuff just fade away, didn't it?! And happy birthday to you also--you share a birthday with my husband, who is a year younger than both of us--I'll be 44 this August!
Birthdays for DD#1 and DD#2 tend to be long, drawn-out affairs that last for about a week. I don't know why this is--it just seems to always work out that way. Their birthdays (Oct 21 and July 6) always seem to collide with either a holiday or a school function. Since they both want a party with their friends, we have to coordinate it around these functions. Poor DD#2 never gets to have her party on her birthday because it is too close to the 4th and all her friends are gone! So we end up having a family thing on their actual birthday, with the friend party preceeding or following their birhtday, whichever works out best for everyone involved. Then you have to consider the trickle of cards with money that comes in from various relatives that weren't able to come to their family party, and so on and so on... Of course, it doesn't help that my family has many professional procrastinators in it--oh yes, I learned from the best! The girls just received their CHRISTMAS presents the other day from my mother!! I bow before such a mighty presence!! *snicker* Yep, definitely in the genes!! I can't fight heredity. (sigh)
Posted by: Sheri at June 6, 2006 11:23 AM
Happy belated Birthday, Eileen! And Happy Birthday to your mom!
Posted by: Whitney at June 6, 2006 12:53 PM
A birthday gauntlet combined with Christmas!!! Dear Lord, woman! How do you survive? I'd have to leave the country right after Thanksgiving.
We do the week long birthday things as well. Thing One got his big present from Cowboy and me the day before his birthday because Cowboy was going to have to be away on business, then dinner out and a present from Thing Two the day of his birthday and then dinner and family birthday with all the relatives that were here for Mommy's big day the day after.
I'm trying to talk both boys out of having parties, but I'm afraid it's a lost cause.
Eileen
Posted by: Eileen at June 6, 2006 1:19 PM
