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June 13, 2006
Mr. Tall and the dog salve
Because a penny saved is a penny earned. Damnit.
I should preface this story by admitting that I am cheap. Really cheap. I love bargains and coupons, I abhor paying retail. I re-use plastic sandwich bags and run the dishwasher at midnight to avoid paying peak-rate charges on our electric bill. I refuse to buy any food of any kind in a movie theater or airport. You would think I lived through the Great Depression.
Having said that, I must also admit that I like nice things. So websites like bluefly.com, overstock.com, and smartbargains.com are a godsend. One thing I will splurge on is healthful foods; I try to buy organic for me and Mr. Tall, and our dogs enjoy high-grade, premium kibble. I also am starting to be a big believer in holistic healing and natural remedies. So it came to pass that when Murphy got an itchy, red insect bite between his toes, I purchased a little tub of “Derma Dream Natural healing Salve”.
Murphy was not a fan. He insisted on nibbling the ointment right off every time I slathered it on his paw, and since he is a terrier and can out-stubborn me any day of the week, I gave up and threw the salve in the medicine cabinet. A few months later, I had to give up running outside in the Arizona heat and moved my fitness routine to the Y for the summer. Now, I don’t know if this is just because I’m flabby or what, but I have a certain pair of running shorts, the wearing of which always—always!—results in chafed inner thighs. It’s incredibly painful, and the visual ain’t pretty. And yet I haven’t gotten around to replacing the offending shorts. (See: I’m cheap.)
So last week, after returning from the treadmill, I looked for something to soothe the irritated skin, only to find that we were fresh out of Neosporin. But you know what we weren’t out of? That’s right—Derma Dream. And I’m here to tell you, that stuff rocks! It cooled the skin and starting working right away and that chafing was gone, baby, gone…well, until the next time I wore those shorts to the Y.
I’m sure you have guessed where this story is going. Sunday night, Mr. Tall started complaining of a nasty, dry patch of heat rash on his neck. (Guess who didn’t listen to me about sunscreen.) He, being macho and manly, wanted to let it fester and forgo treatment of any kind. I, on the other hand, wanted him to stop complaining. So I raced to the medicine cabinet, found the miracle salve, and bullied him into letting me smear some on him.
He didn’t notice the label until after he’d already admitted that his neck felt better.
Mr. Tall: Hey, what the…this stuff is for DOGS?
Me (pointing out fine print): No, it says “for dogs, cats, and other friends.” We’re the “other friends.”
Mr. Tall: This is for animals!
Me: Humans are animals.
Mr. Tall: This is what you think of me? You think I deserve the same medicine as you give the dogs?
Me: Hey, I use it, too! When I get that nasty rash from wearing those black shorts—
Mr. Tall: Oh my God. WHY are you still wearing those shorts?!?
Me: I’m waiting to see if they stop chafing if I lose weight.
Mr. Tall: How many times have I told you to get rid of those stupid shorts? That’s it--I’m throwing them out right now. Where are they?
(Scuffle ensues)
But at least the salve didn’t go to waste. It totally works, you guys. And the ingredients are all-natural. And now I can put the five bucks I saved on Neosporin toward a new pair of shorts.
Posted by Beth at 11:43 PM | Comments (9)
Comments
Tell Mr. Tall that diaper cream works well on rashes too . . . but Derma Dream Natural Healing Salve sounds much more manly than Boudreau's Butt Paste.
Posted by: Whitney at June 14, 2006 7:20 AM
ROFL!
But yeah, the chafing, that's totally annoying. And yes, one does keep those clothing in hopes weight loss will stop the chafing.
Posted by: NicoleH ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at June 14, 2006 9:01 AM
I totally wish I had at least a little of your cheapness gene. We were really, REALLY poor growing up and I think my reaction is to spend money like water. sigh. And wait till you have kids and have to buy them a new wardrobe EVERY SINGLE SEASON because - surprise - they've outgrown last summer's clothes. Aargh.
Posted by: Alesia Holliday at June 14, 2006 9:03 AM
I didn't come equipped with a cheapness gene, which is a shame, really, as I also didn't come equipped with Paris Hilton's bank account.
That being said, every day for ... well a while, I didn't mark it on a calendar, so I don't have a specific date or anything.. but anyway... every day on my way to and from work I pass a house with a golf cart for sale in the front yard - and of course I think of you and Mr. Tall. Today, I drove by and there were TWO golf carts for sale out front... His and Hers!
Posted by: laurenjharwood at June 14, 2006 9:57 AM
Lauren--
We must never speak of the golf carts to Mr. Tall. Ever. Seriously. Or I will end up with matching golf carts for our next anniversary.
Posted by: Beth at June 14, 2006 2:31 PM
Mum's the word. :)
Posted by: laurenjharwood at June 14, 2006 4:12 PM
Beth and Lauren, IRT: the golf carts... There is a town on the Potomac/Chesapeake Bat, about 30 minutes from me, where it is totally legal to drive golf carts on the street within city limits. This is actually one of my very facorite things about the town. Well, the golf carts and the fact that the town in located on the water. Granted, it's the River and the Bay, but hey, when you live on a farm 2 hours from the "real" beach, it's the little things in life that make you happy, right?
Posted by: dee at June 14, 2006 4:48 PM
We really are separated at birth-- at least in terms of the fashion love-- I'm like Alesia in the having grown up poor I now don't tend to deny myself.
However, for fashion, I'm a sales 'ho. And I *heart* bluefly.
Bigtime.
They heart my credit card.
Posted by: Barb at June 14, 2006 7:50 PM
Derma Dream, you say? I am a great believer in Body Glide before running anything over 5 miles, but sometimes even that doesn't do the trick. Hmmm. You say it's all natural and cheaper than Neosporin?
Eileen (your sister in cheapness)
Posted by: Eileen at June 14, 2006 8:42 PM
