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June 23, 2006
Hold Music
Yes. I'm actually going to talk about hold music. It's Fish's fault.
So. I wake up this morning and snuggle in bed with Fish.
"I have to go to work," he says.
"I have to blog for Literary Chicks," I say, then think, Damn. I also have to feed the kids, watch the kids, keep the kids from killing each other, feed them again, probably play with them or read to them or something, do the dishes, do the laundry, and write a book while the kids crawl all over me like monkeys on a jungle gym. I should have said one of those.
Fish, secure in his misconception that his day will require more toil than mine and thus he shall retain his title as Da Man, says, "What do you have to write about?"
"Music," I say. "Only I'm not really a music person. I mean, I like music. But I'm not obsessive about it or anything. I'm tone deaf and don't know a bass guitar from a regular guitar." Silence. "So, what's the difference between a bass guitar and a regular guitar?"
Fish drones on about the difference but I'm thinking about what I'm going to have for breakfast. At first I think maybe whole wheat toast, but I really want to start upping my protein, so I decide on yogurt.
"And that's basically the difference."
"Mmmm." I sigh. "So, I don't know what to write about."
He chuckles, still steeping in his security. Crap. I really should have mentioned the jungle gym thing.
"Write about hold music," he says.
I roll my eyes and kick him out of bed. Then I get up, feed the children, get them dressed, get them occupied doing... something (hmmm... it's been quiet for a while... that's never a good sign) and sit down at the computer to write about... music.
Maybe it's that I'm still brain dead from the move. Maybe it's that all my creativity has suddenly left me. (That's always the number one fear, even though I always say it second.) Maybe it's that Caridad took the good idea of those magical musical moments. (How cool was it having Caridad here this month, by the way? Isn't she awesome? I love her. And congrats winners! I'm sorry, what? I'm digressing? Whoops. Sorry.)
So. Anyway. I battled with it for a while, trying to think of something more interesting, but it's early morning and I've got a full day ahead of me and my creativity has left me forever and ever and I'm morphing into a big drama queen. All not good things. So... hold music.
Here's what I have to say about hold music.
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I think that my original reaction, which was that blogging about hold music is stupid, was correct. I stand by this assertion, and apologize for any inconvenience this might have caused. Your patronage is important to me, and I appreciate your patience while you wait for a real Literary Chick to take up the slack and be actually entertaining. Your estimated wait time is approximately 24 hours. Thank you for coming by, and have a great day!
:::insert hold music here, preferably something by Madonna, during the reign of the pointy-breasted personality. I mean, come on. Who doesn't love pointy breasts? Right? Right.:::
This blog was brought to you by Adiós to My Old Life, Caridad's rockin' young adult debut about a Latina girl who gets everything she's ever wanted... and then has to figure out what she needs.
Posted by Lani at 7:08 AM | Comments (12)
Comments
When you mentioned hold music 'The girl from Ipenema' popped into my head, I'm going to be humming that damn song all day.
Posted by: Terri at June 23, 2006 10:40 AM
I love you! Really, I do. And now I have this weird melange of Like a Virgin and Girl From Ipanema running through my head, so thank you, ladies.
Actually, when I think of hold music, I remember a really funny radio contest that one of the stations in Nashville used to run, called "Elevator From Hell."
Basically, they'd take all these classic rock songs, like YES's "Roundabout" or Skynyrd's "Freebird" and Muzak them to a point where they were nearly unrecognizable and whoever called in first with the correct guess, won... I dunno. Something. Given that it was Nashville, probably preserved roadkill or something to that effect.
Anyhow... I love you and you make me laugh.
Posted by: Barb at June 23, 2006 11:20 AM
My cousin got the Whitney Houston song "One Moment in Time" stuck in my head this morning, so now I'm going to share it with you all.
Posted by: laurenjharwood ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at June 23, 2006 11:31 AM
Oh, Terri! I'm so, so sorry. I hadn't even thought of "The Girl from Ipanema."
Of course, now that you mention it, it's in my head. Very possibly, for good. Revenge is swift and sweet, m'dear. :)
And Barb/Caridad - right back atcha, babe. Smooches.
Posted by: Lani at June 23, 2006 11:32 AM
"One Moment in TIme" cannot withstand the ear worm power of "Girl from Ipanema." Of course, can "Girl" out ear worm the Archie's doing "Sugar, Sugar"?
Eileen (Tall and tan and not so young . . .)
Posted by: Eileen at June 23, 2006 12:01 PM
Y'all said "Madonna" and now I'm stuck with "Like A Prayer" running thru my head.
Thanx.
Jen
wailing, "just like a dream, you are not what you seem..."
Posted by: Jen at June 23, 2006 12:58 PM
Thank you, Jen, for getting Madonna stuck in my head in place of Whitney.
My kids are so doomed when I pop my iPod in my ears this weekend. Hahahahahahahaha.
This is the song that never ends
It just goes on and on my friends....
Posted by: laurenjharwood at June 23, 2006 1:35 PM
>This is the song that never ends
>It just goes on and on my friends....
Now see-- somehow, I transposed this in my head to:
Welcome back my friends, to the show that never ends...
Great. I've been earwormed with Emerson, Lake, and Palmer.
Lani-- you've got it wrong, babe. This isn't the post about hold music-- it's the post about earworming!!
Posted by: Barb at June 23, 2006 7:34 PM
Aaarrggh The Girl for Ipenema is truly an awful thing to have stuck in the brain so now I shall take my revenge ...... Achy Breaky Heart .... bwahahahaha. Suck on that mullet for a while now.
Posted by: Chez at June 24, 2006 12:14 AM
I always seem to get stuck in elevators playing The Copacabana. "Her name was Lola/She was a showgirl/With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there..." Did Barry Manilow actually set out to be an elevator music star?
Posted by: Janina at June 25, 2006 3:50 AM
I've had the Copa stuck in my head for weeks. Weeks! I'll take the Achy Breaky over that. My brother sang Billy Don't be a Hero non-stop on a three hundred mile car ride over thirty years ago and it still takes little to bring that nightmare back. Great, it just kicked Barry Manilow to the curb.
Posted by: Sheryl at June 25, 2006 3:01 PM
OMG, Billy Don't be a Hero! You know, a friend and I once tortured a whole carful of people with our rendition of various "Dead Teenager Songs" from the 60s and 70s. Sadly, the lyrics for many of them are forever imprinted on my brain...
"We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun..."
Posted by: Dia at July 3, 2006 1:31 PM
