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September 19, 2006
Yo ho ho! It's a pirate's life for me!
Or not.
Firstly, my proud chickadees, ye should know that today be Interational Talk Like A Pirate Day! So, avast me hearties! Let us all use the five As (Ahoy, Avast, Aye, Aye Aye, and the ever popular Arrrgghh!) of talking like a pirate or I'll make all you scurvy bilge rats walk the plank, I will! And remember, there be no regrets when you're sailing the seven seas!
Ye would think that with all the pillaging and looting that a pirate would have plenty to regret, but it no be so, me proud beauties.
No, by the spouts from Great Neptune's Tail, a pirate has no regrets. A pirate swashbuckles through his life and yours leavin' behind a salty trail o' tears shed by others. Perhaps that's why I wish I were a pirate, filled with pirattitude, but perhaps with greater access to bathing facilities than your average swashbuckler. I do like my daily shower and I fear Johnny Depp may be a cautionary tale to all those who neglect to remove their mascara each night. Arrgghh!
As much as I wish to be the kind of pirate wench who can swagger down the deck yelling "Prepare to be boarded!" with nothin' but a yearnin' for treasure in my heart, I instead be the kind of timid mouse who would be made into everyone's cabin boy before a fortnight passed, assuming a fortnight is a relatively small amount of time although I've never been exactly clear on that.
My lack of pirattitude has contributed lately to a distinct turn that 'tis more doormattitude in nature. 'Tis why, for instance, I be up every Saturday morning at the crack o' dawn to unlock scurvy soccer goals. If I had an ounce of pirattitude I would have told the volunteer coordinator that it no be what I volunteered for and she could walk her soccer goals off the plank for all I cared. She be a lovely woman and it no be entirely her fault, so instead I be up traipsing through the local junior high in my jammies each Saturday morning. Double arrgghh!
Do not get me started on how a little pirattitude might make me life more bonny in the grocery store where scurvy bilge rats cut in front of me in line as if they were bowsprits on the front of me ship! Triple arrgghh!
So where might in your life might you regret not having more pirattitude?
This blog was brought to you by I Did, But I Wouldn't Now, Cara's hilarious novel about loving, leaving and starting over again.
Posted by Eileen at 7:00 AM | Comments (8)
Comments
There are several men in my past that should have had to walk the plank.
Posted by: Eileen at September 19, 2006 11:42 AM
Oh my goodness, this was one of the funnies (and most difficult to read!) things I've ever seen.
Oh, I could use some serious pirattitude in several areas of my life. I tend to think I'm this strong, assertive woman, but apparently the word NO is not in my vocabulary.
Next time, maybe I'll just say ARRRGHHH!
Posted by: Cate at September 19, 2006 12:14 PM
Man, I can't think of squat to write in piratese on my blog today. (Did link you, though.) I fear I'll have to use that pirate translator thing for most of my posts today...
(I can't talk pirate all day at work, so it's just on the internets.)
Posted by: Jennifer at September 19, 2006 1:24 PM
When Stinky Boy was about 7 or 8 years old, I dressed him as a pirate for Halloween. I told him to say something pirate-ish. He responded with, "Arggh! I be lovin' me mommy!"
Posted by: Janina at September 19, 2006 1:42 PM
Janina,
That be the sweetest tale a pirate mommy could spin! Cap'n Eileen says Stinky Boy no be havin' to swab the deck for a week at least!
The LC Pirate Eileen
Posted by: Eileen ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at September 19, 2006 2:02 PM
A fortnight = two weeks.
Methinks.
Also, in honor of this special day, here is a joke:
A swashbuckling pirate walks into a bar, wearing raggedy clothes, scads of gold bling, a peg leg, a big black hat, the whole nine yards. He's even got a parrot on his shoulder and an eye patch. After the bartender serves up a big mug of grog, he notices that the pirate has a paper towel wedged between his forhead and his hat.
The bartender can't resist asking, "Hey, what's up with the paper towel?"
And the pirate says, "Arr, matey, I've got a bounty on me head!"
Thank you and good night.
Posted by: Beth at September 19, 2006 2:16 PM
That be some awesome piratalk. Everytime I try, I end up sounding like Scarlett O'hara. Not sure why. Great post, though. Impressive pirate skills, me beauty.
Beth, you made me giggle. And I'm almost embarrassed to admit it.
Posted by: Cynthia at September 19, 2006 7:05 PM
Yo ho, me harties, yo ho!
Now Oi knows what be missing from me life - a pink, jewel-encrusted eye patch. And Capn Jack Sparrow, a course...
Posted by: Michelle C at September 20, 2006 6:26 AM
