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September 20, 2006

Regrets . . .

. . . . I've Had A Few.

What’s my biggest regret? That’s an easy one – my decision to go to law school.

Here’s my advice for any bright-eyed young person who’s considering a legal career: DON’T DO IT.

Seriously. It’s a very, very bad idea. Especially if you have to take out law school loans to go. Because in the end, you’ll be deeply in debt, stunned at how boring your new career is, and wondering why your boss is such an incredible asshole.

Are all lawyers assholes? you’ll wonder. Will I be an asshole someday?

And the answer is: probably. I’m sure there are non-asshole lawyers out there – my husband, a commercial litigator, is actually quite sweet (most of the time) – so it is possible. Just not very likely.

But here’s the weird thing: every prospective law student is at some point warned by a well-meaning friend or relative to pick another career, any career, and they always, always ignore this advice. I did. I remember people, including my father, telling me that I would hate being a lawyer, that I don’t have the personality for it (a compliment, I think), and that I should instead chose a career doing something that I love.

Did I listen to them? No, I did not. And I learned the hard way just how much being a lawyer sucks.

A few years ago, during my brief stint as an oil and gas litigator (I still laugh whenever I think of that time, since I knew nothing then – and to this day, still know nothing – about oil and gas law), an intern at our law firm – I’ll call her Angela* – told me she was thinking of going to law school.

“Don’t do it,” I said immediately.

“I don’t want to be a lawyer,” Angela admitted. “But my dad wants me to go. He said there’s a lot you can do with a law degree.”

Now let me take a moment to say that this is one of the great lies prospective law students are fed: that having a law degree will give you a lot of options after you graduate. This is what’s commonly referred to as a flaming ball of bullshit. Let me tell you right now – if you go to law school, you are not going to end up being a secret agent for the CIA. You are going to end up being a lawyer. Trust me on this.

So, back to my conversation with Angela.

“What do you want to do?” I asked.

“I want to be a travel writer,” Angela said.

“That’s a great idea! Do that instead!” I said.

“Yeah . . . it’s just there aren’t a lot of jobs out there for travel writers,” Angela said despondently.

At this, I launched into a very long, very eloquent speech. I won’t bore you with all of the details, but basically I encouraged Angela to follow her dreams and not to give up, and argued passionately against using the law as a fall back position. I even banged my hand on the desk for emphasis a few times, and called in some fellow associates so that they, too, could convince the young intern how much they hated their jobs.

And when Angela finally left, saying that she would think about what I’d said, I felt proud. No, more than that . . . I felt like I had saved someone from making the same mistakes I had made in life.

So imagine my surprise when a few weeks later, one of the runners – a young woman named Sandy* who had recently graduated from college and was saving money to go on to get her masters degree in education – stopped by with some mail for me.

“Guess what?” Sandy said. “I’ve decided I’m going to law school!”

“What? But why? I thought you wanted to be a teacher!” I exclaimed.

“I did. But I’ve reconsidered,” she said brightly. “I was talking to Angela, and she said that she’d talked to you, and you’d convinced her to go to law school.”

I stared at her, aghast. “She said what?” I finally asked, when I was capable of speech. “But I told her not to go to law school! I actually said that – the not part – many, many times. I'm pretty sure I was clear on that point.”

“Yeah, but she said that you said it in a really funny way, and it convinced her she should go,” Sandy said. “Here’s your mail! Bye!”

And I was left, slumped in my chair, to think about how I had somehow managed to talk not one, but two young women into going to law school despite my best efforts to the contrary. I don't know what happened to Angela or Sandy, but my guess is that if they did end up going to law school, they probably don't think I'm so funny now.

This blog was brought to you by I Did, But I Wouldn't Now, Cara's hilarious novel about loving, leaving and starting over again.

* All names have been changed to protect me from getting sued by the people I failed to convince not to go to law school and who, I'm quite sure, are now lawyers.

Posted by Whitney at 6:00 AM | Comments (6)

Comments

Posted by: Alesia Holliday at September 20, 2006 11:00 AM

Posted by: Eileen at September 20, 2006 11:14 AM

Posted by: Sheri at September 21, 2006 5:20 PM

Posted by: Eileen at September 21, 2006 8:25 PM

Posted by: Michelle C at September 24, 2006 7:18 AM

Posted by: Julie at October 5, 2006 2:11 PM