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September 24, 2006
Paris, and Pissoirs: Le Sequel
Urban myth?
Recently, a friend visited us here in Rotterdam. I was still in a state of delirious excitement after discovering that the strange object on the corner opposite my apartment is not a superlarge traffic cone, or a superly understated piece of modern art done in grey plastic, but, in fact, a public pissoir! So when Friend asked me what was new, I told him the tale and took him to see it.
This is what happened...
"I can top your pissoir. I bet that my pissoir is better than your pissoir," he says, after he stops laughing.
"What do you mean?" ask I.
"Well..." he replies, pausing for dramatic effect.
"Yes, yes, go on," prompt I.
And then he tells me something wondrous...
Pissoir: Le Sequel
"I met up with a Dutch friend last night, and he told me that the town has built a new, technologically state-of-the-art pissoir right outside his apartment in Rotterdam market place."
"What? Tell me more, tell me more," beg I. "What makes it so technologically superior to this grey plastic one?" I am wondering if this state-of-the-art pissoir can get up on the table and dance and sing. Or, in fact, if it has doors. You know, for a bit of privacy.
"Apparently," Friend continues, "it is a self-concealing pissoir." And then, because of the blank expression on my face, he adds, "When not in use, the pissoir sinks into the sidewalk. But if you, you know, need to use it, you press a button and up it pops, out of the sidewalk."
A-ha, think I. So in reality it is a multipurpose pissoir, not really a technologically superior one. You know, it's a sidewalk-slash-pissoir. I am also thinking that I have to get a picture of it to share with you chicklets.
Off I set, camera in hand, to Rotterdam marketplace. (This is Rotterdam marketplace - it's huge!)
I walked its four corners, I braved the milling throngs and traipsed through its middle, eyes peeled and digital camera on alert for a sighting. Sadly, wherever I went, the pissoir was not. I went back on a nonmarket day and tramped about again. No sign of this pissoir. I went back again, this time with Oh Patient One in tow, but even with his sharp eyes and keen observation skills, we could not find the pissoir.
Oh Patient One: "Let's go down the pub. Surely someone in Paddy's will know?"
Me: "Cunning plan! A dual purpose plan - a voyage of journalistic discovery, coupled with a little liquid refreshment."
The things I have to endure for the sake of knowledge, LOL.
Anyway, loads of people in Paddy's have heard of the pissoir.
"It's by the station," says one person.
"You know, near that bling statue that doubles up as a Christmas-slash-Halloween decoration," says another.
"It's right near the entrance of the station," says yet another.
This is good news! But then another thought occurs to me.
"Has anyone actually seen it or used it?"
Nobody has. And on the way back home from Murphy's Oh Patient One and I have a last look around for the elusive pissoir. We don't find it.
But at least the beer in Murphy's is good!
Paris
So, I think that by now you know that I absolutely adored Paris, mes chicklets! Well, rather than take pics of all of the usual (amazing, awe-inspiring, gorgeous, wonderful - insert adjective of choice) places, here is a little guided tour of some of the alternative Paris sights.
1. Park and Fill
Mon Dieu! I'm running out of gas about a half mile from the Arc de Triomphe. Thank Dieu for this convenient sidewalk self-fill gas pump!
2. Le Parking!
Pardon, officer, I thought this was a sidewalk gas pump and not a crossing...
3. Strong Arms!
Michelle is secretly a superhero with inhuman strength!
4. What were they thinking?
You know, that gorgeous, awe-inspring, classical Louvres building is so behind the times. Let's build a glass pyramid in front of it!
5. Strong Legs!
Is Michelle really a superhero, or has she been working out to her Denise Austin DVDs?
6. Le Shopping!
Guess what Michelle did when she was in Paris?
And so, chicklets, a little challenge for you. Can you think of some different (and probably funnier) captions to my Paris pics? I bet you can :-) Go at it!
Michelle
PS. Dear Paris authorities - despite my superhero inhuman strength, I didn't really wantonly bend two of your metal bollards.
Posted by Michelle at 4:51 AM | Comments (6)
Comments
Oh! I love how we're getting all theme-y this week without even trying! LOL on the disappearing pissoir! I think someone was yanking your chain...
As for the captions, I'm total crap at captions but I completely agree on the atrocity that is the I.M. Pei pyramid. I could have appreciated it anywhere else where it didn't defile a castle courtyard. And yay on the visit to the Louvre! I'm dying to go!
Lani
Posted by: Lani ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at September 24, 2006 9:54 AM
LOL, yes, trust us to lower the tone by inadvertently making pee the theme! (I think you're right - someone, somewhere is having a good laugh - the state-of-the-art pissoir is something that everyone has heard of but nobody has actually seen.)
As for that Pyramid, it is right up there in my mind with the Pompidou Centre. I just think they're both out of place in such a majestic city.
The rest of Paris, totally wonderful. And the Parisians were totally kind and friendly people.
Posted by: Michelle C at September 24, 2006 10:06 AM
Oh - and BY THE WAY - cute skirt and shoes!
Posted by: Lani at September 24, 2006 12:09 PM
Aw, thank you, Lani :-)
Speaking of Paris, a little confession from me... When I first heard the name Paris Hilton, I thought people were talking about the Hilton hotel in Paris (because there was a hotel mentioned in the story about the Paris-the-girl Hilton). Yes, silly me, but then again not a totally unlogical conclusion.
Posted by: Michelle C at September 24, 2006 1:13 PM
More adorable Paris flats? I may end up doing a collage of your shoes.
The LC Eileen
Posted by: Eileen at September 24, 2006 1:29 PM
6. Le Shopping!
See, I have arranged my shoes that way as my feet always point towards Mecca.
Posted by: Wendy at September 24, 2006 10:28 PM
