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October 6, 2006
No Excuses
Well. Maybe one or two.
Last night, when I was digging through the clean laundry piled up in the laundry basket, looking for a t-shirt to sleep in, I thought, “I really need to fold this laundry.” Then I thought, rather rebelliously, “Screw that, I’m under deadline.”
So I got the idea to blog about how whenever I’m under deadline, one of the first things to go is the laundry. Not the wash part; sticking laundry in the machine is easy. But once the clothes come out of the dryer, they just sit piled up in a laundry basket, wrinkled and unfolded, for weeks at a time.
Then I realized that if I were telling the complete truth, it would be that I’m not that great about folding and putting up clothes even when I’m not on a deadline. Which got me thinking about how much I like to fall back on being on deadline as my all-purpose excuse in life.
The thing is . . . it’s not a total lie. Like most writers of commercial fiction, I’m almost always working on a deadline. I have three books due in the next year, which roughly comes out to one every four months. Which is tad bit stressful.
(I’ve never had much interest in writing a more literary book, although I have to admit, the idea of only having to produce one every seven years or so – as so many literary writers seem to do – sounds kind of nice right now.)
But, even so, I definitely do abuse it as an excuse. For example:
1. Food.
I’m of the belief that when I am under deadline, I should be able to eat whatever I want whenever I want it. Sad, I know. But the thing is . . . it works.
For example, yesterday I had (among other things): a peppermint mocha from Starbucks (Whole milk? Yes! Whipped cream? Yes, yes!), a yummy chicken, cheese and avocado panini from my favorite little restaurant, and a huge splash out dinner – including multiple slices of buttered bread – at Bonefish Grill. And I got six hours of work done.
Coincidence? I think not.
I mentioned this phenomenon to my husband, George, last night, and he said, “So you can either be fat and prolific . . . or be thin and have writer’s block?” And then he laughed.
I don’t like George today.
2. Taking on projects I don’t want to take on.
Yes, I know, this is an obvious one. But it’s very, very effective. When someone asks me to do something I don’t want to do, I just shake my head sadly, and say, “I’d really love to help, but I’m under deadline. Sorry.”
And they always buy it! Always! They don’t even become suspicious and ask exactly when my deadline is, they just say, “Of course, I totally understand.” And I think, “Hee! Got away with that again!”
Although now that I’ve published this on a very public blog, people might stop believing me. So quick . . . give me your all-purpose excuse. I think I’m going to need a new one after this.
Posted by Whitney at 6:00 AM | Comments (6)
Comments
I'm never home and people are figuring this out so I usually don't even need to offer an excuse. Can't help you there.
However, I do have a tip that gets the laundry put away (or at least more likely to be put away)....I don't sort the whites, especially socks. If underwear needs folded, I'm too fat and should diet. Socks can be selected in the drawer. It gets everything put away that much faster...
That said, however, I seriously considered taking a picture of my clean laundry pile this week because a stuffed spider was sitting on it. I've been busy with homework and grading papers and you know, everything. Don't call me. I'll call you.
Posted by: Linda Sherwood at October 6, 2006 9:39 AM
I shamelessly use my children and aging parent as excuses. Honestly, one of the advantages of being a single mother was that nobody asked me to do anything. Ever. If I volunteered and did something, everyone would act like I'd just negotiated a lasting peace in the Middle East or something. Seriously.
Oh, and a little tip, if you have a little fender bender when driving on a field trip, they never ever ask you to drive on field trip again. :-)
The LC Eileen
Posted by: Eileen ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at October 6, 2006 3:03 PM
Ah! Good tip on the fender bender! I’ll have to try that one.
Posted by: Whitney at October 7, 2006 12:00 PM
My excuse for not taking a nap to get over jetlag, also my excuse for not unpacking my case just yet: the fabulous, incomparable Terry Pratchett. While I was away Oh Patient One bought his new book, Wintersmith, and I am afraid that nothing will get done until I have read it :-)
Posted by: Michelle C at October 10, 2006 9:50 AM
As Dave is forever telling me, just smile and say, "I would help you, but the truth is that I just don't want to." It may not make you any friends-- but do you really need friends who expect you to help them with stupid crap?
Posted by: Julie at October 16, 2006 1:33 PM
My excuse is ... I have a three year old and a three month old (changing to 4 months tomorrow)... so I have no time to get anything done. People really sympathize, it's nice!
Posted by: Lisa at November 13, 2006 3:27 PM
