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October 9, 2006
Does That Come In Black?
It sounds better if you call it "Midnight."
I’ll be the first to admit I have a big weakness. Wait, maybe “weakness” isn’t the right word. Maybe it’s “preference.” Okay, who am I kidding? The only word that fits here is “compulsion.” And no it’s not for anything icky. (Minds out of the gutter, ladies.) It’s for … black sweaters.
I was doing the summer-to-fall clothes switch the other day (a fabulous way to procrastinate, let me add) and when I was done hauling out all of the cold weather things, I counted up the black sweaters piled on the bed. (Which I’d made! Another way to procrastinate! At least when what I’m supposed to be doing is writing this column. Or the book that’s due.)
The total? Eleven. I think the only occasions for which I don’t have black sweaters are a) an S&M bondage party, and b) tea with the queen. Otherwise, I’m good. An outdoorsy black sweater? Check. A V-neck black sweater with funky trim to wear out to a bar one evening, with jeans and high-heeled boots? Check. A plain black turtleneck, to go with everything? Check – three times, actually. A delicate black sweater appropriate for a fancy evening, or a holiday? Check.
Please remember that I never go anywhere other than the kids’ schools, the grocery store, and, occasionally, Applebee’s.
I’m not sure what to blame for my obsession with black sweaters. The fact that I probably read way too much Sylvia Plath as a teenager? That I worked in New York for too long? That I am, in reality, a vampire? (Doubtful, because the sight of blood makes me faint.)
I think I read somewhere that blonds look good in black. Of course, my days of being a natural blonde are long over (how I love you, L’Oreal), but it is true. I mean, I think it is. Even if I think read it in Flowers From the Attic. And black does go with everything. Jeans, khakis, red, white—pair a black sweater with it and you’re good to go!
There’s a whole mix and match philosophy behind this, too, which doesn’t always work in practice. Sometimes the particular style of a sweater demands a different kind of skirt, or pair of jeans. And then the on-sale sweater costs me three times as much because I’m out buying something to wear with it, and sometimes two things to wear with it, because really, if you can only wear one pair of pants with a sweater, it’s just not worth it! (See, here you have to picture me trying to explain to my darling husband why a particular black turtleneck is subtly different than the two others I own. Comedy gold, baby. Believe me.)
You know, I’m thinking Garanimals for adults is not a bad idea.
At least black sweaters are my only weakness. I mean, I’m not out there impulse purchasing yachts, or vintage diamonds, or lace handmade by blind Italian nuns at a convent in the Alps. (Although the diamonds do sound tempting…)
Just don’t ask me about the number of black shoes I own. Or black handbags. Or black coats…
Posted by at 7:26 AM | Comments (10)
Comments
Black sweaters. Urg. I think I own 15. It IS a sickness . . .
Black shoes/boots run a close second in my closet.
So our conversation goes like this:
Navy Guy: But you already HAVE a pair of black shoes
Me: This from the man who thinks one pair of black shoes, one pair of brown shoes, and sneakers = a shoe wardrobe
Then we look at each other in total incomprehension for a while as I pay for my new pair of black shoes . . .
Posted by: Alesia Holliday ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at October 9, 2006 9:48 AM
Yes! My sisters! There are the flat black boots, the high-heeled black boots, the ankle boots and the ones that come up to your knee. The differences aren't the least bit subtle!
How about the black dresses? The short flirty sleeveless one, the long elegant sleeveless one, the wrap one with the bell sleeves, and the velvet one. Yet it always seems like I need one more!
And yes, I also read way too much Sylvia Plath as a teenager which simply isn't done in Nebraska.
The LC Eileen
Posted by: Eileen at October 9, 2006 10:01 AM
This from the man who thinks one pair of black shoes, one pair of brown shoes, and sneakers = a shoe wardrobe
Men really are incomprehensible.
How about the black dresses?
Exactly!
::wipes away a happy tear::
My sisters!
Posted by: Amy Garvey at October 9, 2006 10:39 AM
Ladies:
Its a sad, but true fact of life that men are ill-equiped to discern the subtle nuances that makes each black shoe and/or sweater a unique purchase unto itself. I do remind Tall and Handsome when he rolls his eyes in my direction of all the various gadgets and whatnots in his workshop that seem to perform a similar function. "That", he gasps, "is different!" Riiiigggghhhht!
Posted by: Cindi at October 9, 2006 2:35 PM
Um... is it bad that I don't really care what the color is, as long as it's on sale?
And yes. This is why I look how I look. Very sad. Very sad indeed... :)
Posted by: Lani at October 9, 2006 6:06 PM
But on sale and black is better!
Posted by: Amy Garvey at October 9, 2006 6:28 PM
Ok, your black shoes= my dark brown shoes.
I have flats with a cute little braided trim, at least 5 pairs of dark to medium brown sandals, clogs, high heels, more flats... They go perfectly with the many many dark brown purses I have. I have only 1 lonely black purse(for going out, yeah like that's going to happen) and 2 pairs of black heels. All the rest, dark brown.
Berni
Posted by: Berni at October 9, 2006 7:41 PM
Hee! Sisters! :)
I've got over a dozen pair of black boots. And I was just lusting after this cute little pair of half-boots at the new! shoe store! that opened up nearby, so the count may be increasing if I don't talk myself out of them. Like that'll happen.
Posted by: Darla at October 10, 2006 8:08 AM
Long ago I decided that fashionwise black was the new black. I love black. One can never have enough black. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it :-)
Posted by: Michelle C at October 10, 2006 9:08 AM
It's a disease. I never used to suffer from it but now I can't stop buying black. So nice to know I'm not alone!
And isn't that a black sweater in your picture up top, Amy? That was the first thing I noticed. :)
As far as men and shoes go, yours is ahead of mine, Alesia. As far as he's concerned, all he needs is a pair of black *somethings* (dress shoes, tennis shoes, what's the difference?) and a pair of sneakers and he's good to go. When the sneakers need to be replaced, he turns them into "yard shoes". How is it that men just don't understand *shoes*???
Posted by: Dia at October 11, 2006 5:18 PM
