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October 28, 2006
“I wish I could quit you”
But I can’t because I have no self-control whatsoever
French fries
This tops the list because this is what I’m obsessed with right now. I want an order of fries so much, I am practically quivering and frothing at the mouth. But they’re so bad for you. And they go against everything I believe about good nutrition and holistic health. And…okay, the truth is, I just had a big order of them last night. (Mr. Tall feels that fast food is integral to our holistic health.) So I should be satiated, right? Au contraire. I just want more, more, more. The Fry Monster within has been awakened. I have tried to fob it off with dried fruit and plain walnuts, but the Fry Monster is not fooled. It wants grease, and it wants it now. Must…resist…be…strong…arrrrgh!!!
Scary movies
I love scary books. True crime, suspense novels, mysteries…I devour ‘em all (much like French fries). I just finished Tess Gerritsen’s The Mephisto Club, which was excellent. It was also scary as all get-out, and I had nightmares for days. This does not deter me from reading more scary books—apparently, I am masochist who secretly enjoys sleeping with the lights on. Scary books, I can handle. Sort of. Scary movies, not so much. I am the girl who still refuses to go anywhere near any forest because of the tent scene in the Blair Witch Project. So I have cut myself off. It was the right thing to do. I’ve never seen Halloween, Friday the 13th, or the Ring, and I’m a happier woman for it. Except…last night, Bravo was airing a special on the 100 scariest movie moments and I couldn’t change the channel. I sat there for an hour, eyes wide and heart racing, and watched tiny, twenty-second clips of random horror films. They barely showed anything. It was mostly commentary from filmmakers and actors. And, you guessed it, I was up til 2 a.m. wielding a flashlight and a baseball bat. Just in case there was a masked axe murderer biding his time in the closet, just waiting for me to doze off.
Dogs (but you all already knew that)
At least once a week, the following conversation occurs at Chez Kendrick:
ME: You know what we need around here?
MR TALL: Please don’t say “another dog.”
ME: How did you know that’s what I was thinking?
MR. TALL: It’s like I’m psychic.
ME: Wow! We must really be soul mates!
MR. TALL: Yeah. Soul mates who aren’t getting any more dogs.
As much as I enjoy tormenting Mr. Tall, I don’t really want another dog. We have our hands full with the three furry rapscallions we already have. Despite lots of obedience training and exercise, they still have plenty of excess energy to devote to barking at the garbage truck while I’m on the phone with my editor and generally wreaking havoc. Just last week, I came home from a run to find that our Ridgeback mix had shredded a hardcover book and scattered the remnants across my office floor. It was a very poetic moment, actually: that disemboweled book captured exactly how I feel every time I get a bad review. Roxie Hart = future canine performance artist. The funniest part is, every time we take one of the dogs out in public, people gush about how well behaved and mellow they are. (I hear it’s the same way with children.)
So what about you guys? Confess your "I love you so much I hate you" weaknesses!
This blog was brought to you by Amy's I Love You To Death, a collection of three witty, sexy novellas that prove true love is only one blind date away from killing you.
Posted by Beth at 1:02 AM | Comments (10)
Comments
I wish I could disentangle myself from my Dark Mistress . . . coffee.
Only, I don’t really. Because even though the caffeine makes my heart race and my anxiety soar, just the thought of living in a coffee-free world makes me want to crawl back into bed, never to reemerge.
Posted by: Whitney ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at October 28, 2006 6:42 AM
Glazed croissants...mmmmmm...
Posted by: TeresaH at October 28, 2006 2:06 PM
Peanut butter. I love the way its creamy swirls caress my tongue as the ying/yang of its sweet/saltiness satisfies the deep yearning in my soul I thought could never be quenched. I think constantly of its smoothness, its scent, its taste. I love the way it tastes on a toasted bagel or an apple or a spoon. It consumes me as I consume it in one joy-filled ecstatic moment, then it deposits its residue directly on my hips.
LC Eileen
Posted by: Eileen at October 28, 2006 3:03 PM
Glazed cream filled Krispy Kreme donuts. I can feel my arteries clog up as I eat them, but it doesn't matter because they taste so darn good.
Posted by: christina at October 29, 2006 10:46 AM
Diet Coke, no doubt about it. I did a three-day walk for breast cancer last weekend, and my constant cravings for Diet Coke quickly turned me into a caricature among my team members. :-)
Posted by: Lynne at October 29, 2006 12:10 PM
I'm Diet Coke, definitely, but I LURRRVE french fries. with tons of extra salt, just to complete the kill-you-immediately quality . . .
Posted by: Alesia Holliday at October 29, 2006 1:14 PM
I love the glazed croissants at a little grocery store I go to. They deep fry a batch of them every morning. Yum
BTW, the library where I work put 'Nearlyweds' on their hot title list this week.
Posted by: Terri at October 29, 2006 7:25 PM
Terri--
I love you! And your library! Thanks so much for letting me know. You know what would be perfect to celebrate? Fries.
Posted by: Beth at October 29, 2006 9:10 PM
Diet Pepsi:
I am constantly thirsty and for medical reasons I am supposed to drink a lot. Guess what I choose. Diet Pepsi. I hate to tell you how many I consume in one day. Bad girl! But I love it.
Posted by: Penny (with the flamingo eye patch) at October 30, 2006 10:44 AM
Chocolate!! I can't believe this has not been mentioned! Let's just say that everybody at work knows who to go to if they want chocolate.
Posted by: Jo at November 3, 2006 9:06 AM
