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November 13, 2006

Colds, flus, funky bacterial infections…

…and a partridge in a pear tree

Some people never learn. Like me and Mr. Tall, for example. Every year, we insist on making elaborate, Rockwellian plans for Christmas Eve:

“Let’s go to Midnight Mass with your mother.”
“Let’s host an open house with lots of mulled cider and homebaked delicacies for all the neighbors.”
“Let’s trim the tree and snuggle up in front of the fireplace and pretend it’s snowing outside.”

And we mean it at the time we say it. We truly do. But deep down inside, both of us accept the fact that we are only going to be doing one of two things come December 24:
A. being violently ill
B. taking care of someone else who is violently ill.

Let me be clear: I am not talking about some puny, sniveling, run-of-the-mill stomach virus or stuffy nose. (Although Mr. Tall does come down with those every Christmas. His immune system likes to take the holidays off.) No. We get the weird stuff, like costochondritis (which basically boils down to chest pains—that was the year I was finishing my dissertation and planning the wedding and I quite literally thought I was having a heart attack. Turns out, it was just stress and rebellious cartilage in my ribcage.)

Last year, we had to forgo a performance of the church handbell choir so I could take Roxie to the emergency vet at 11 PM on Christmas Eve with an acute bladder infection. I thought the veterinary ER would be deserted, but the waiting room was packed. (Dogs purposely stave off infection until their regular vets’ offices close. It’s a vast, canine conspiracy. I know it.)

And who can forget the year I was twelve and my mom, despite my protests that I wasn’t feeling well, made me drink a full glass of orange juice before setting off to my grandparents’ house on Christmas morning because “you need the Vitamin C and you shouldn’t skip breakfast.” Well. Suffice it to say that gastrointestinal upset and a propensity for car sickness is a very bad combo, and my sister had to throw out her entire outfit. To this day, the smell of concentrated orange juice makes me queasy. (I think my sister feels the same.)

This year, we’re decking the halls with Ace bandages and stuffing the dogs’ stockings with antibiotics. Just in case.

This blog was brought to you by Nearlyweds, a fun, funny novel about holidays, marriage...and one very exuberant dog.

Posted by Beth at 9:03 PM | Comments (6)

Comments

New Year's seems to be the time that someone always gets sick here. There always seems to be somebody barfing somewhere in the house and not because of too much drinking.

LC Eileen

Posted by: Eileen [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 14, 2006 10:31 AM

I always have lofty Christmas plans too. Like the year I decided I would make homemade chocolates for everyone. Just shoot me next time.

Posted by: Eileen at November 14, 2006 12:57 PM

Wow, I can relate to this. I spent one Christmas Eve in the ER vet with my new puppy, have spent more than one in the people ER with one or the other kids (or the time I broke my foot), and last year poor Princess was so sick the entire month of December that all she could do on Christmas Day was lie on the couch clutching her new American Girl doll. I'm PRAYING for a healthy holiday season this year - although laying in extra NyQuil, kids' cold meds, etc. sounds like a great idea too . . .

Posted by: Alesia Holliday [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 14, 2006 1:04 PM

Ahhhh, brings back not so fond memories of the time I was violently ill at Christmas. My three daughters(then all under the age of 6) were also horribly sick. My then husband (now ex) had invited over several guys who were far away from their families(we were a military family back then) to our house for a big family-type x-mas dinner. He decided that he couldn't cancel on the poor guys, even though his whole family was harfing up their insides. He cooked dinner himself, the smell of which made all of us upstairs even sicker. Those guys were in and out of my house soooooo fast. Worst Christmas ever!!

Posted by: Berni at November 14, 2006 7:01 PM

When I was young, I always seemed to spend most, if not all, of the Christmas holidays in bed with tonsilitis. Every freakin' year. There just must be something about holidays and having your immune system go ker-phlooie.

Posted by: Dia [TypeKey Profile Page] at November 14, 2006 11:15 PM

Ugh! I know what you mean. With six wee ones, someone always ends up sick or injured on any given holiday. Plus, two of my Christmas days were actually spent in the Labor and Delivery ward. Yes, I have a Winter Solstice and a Christmas Eve baby. Talk about special presents! Then I also have one born the day after my birthday (labor on my big day, thanks!), on tax day, and on Mother's Day. The non-holiday one was three day's after Valentine's Day, which I spent in the L&D with "fake" labor.
Flu seems to be big at our house on Thanksgiving. I can hardly wait until next week. Ugh! Maybe Lani will call me too, and that will take my mind off of the sick kids that are bound to be needing my attention just as the gravy starts to thicken on the stove.

Just finished NEARLYWEDS, btw. Loved it. Very nice job. Now if I could just get my hands on TESTING KATE, life would be perfect. Well, at least until next Thursday.

Posted by: dee at November 16, 2006 3:19 PM

As of June 26th, 2007, Literary Chicks has closed its doors. However, the site will be here for a while, so feel free to poke around our archives! Thanks!



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