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December 10, 2006

Travel Troubles. Again!

And why I am convinced that I should never travel without Oh Patient One…

So, based on this story and this story, you would think that by now I would just somehow accept that The Travel Gods have it in for me, wouldn't you? I should just sigh and say, "Okay, Travel Gods, I do not know why I have offended you but I take it as said that you will mess up my journey. Somehow..."

I arrived back home in Rotterdam earlier this week after spending time with family in England. And let me just say that it is a bloody miracle that I actually made it back here!

Here's what happened...

Outward bound: Oh Patient One and I got up on time (5am), got a cab to Rotterdam airport, got the plane to London Stansted airport (which isn't, in fact, in London at all, but is miles away in the depths of Essex), picked up the hire car. Made it to Sheffield. Had a lovely time with Super Mum and Lovely Family. All was well. Apart from driving a manual transmission car up hills with a gradient like this /. But that's entirely another story for another day...

Anyway. Midtrip bound: Made it to Lovely Sister's house in London, had a lovely time with Lovely Sister (apart from 1 hour traffic jam on M11 due to roadworks, but par for the course). Made it to Lovely Mother-in-Law's house in Chelmsford.

And now for The Return Journey, during which Michelle travels alone...

Oh Patient One (on the day before I am travelling back to Rotterdam - he is staying one more day for various reasons, mainly to sort out Lovely Mother-in-Law's computer with Internet accessibility - also another story for another day): "So, here's the plan for tomorrow night. I will drive you to Stansted airport, drop you off, then drop off the hire car and take the bus back to Mum's house."

Me (after thinking about it for a couple of seconds): "Um, if we're dropping off the hire car at the same time as we're dropping me off at the airport, remind me why you need to drive me there?"

Minutes of no conversation as Oh Patient One and I fall on the floor laughing while we digest the facts that (a) I can drive, in fact I have driven for most of the trip, (b) I have been on many trips alone which required me getting from point a to b (via, it has to be said, points x, y and z, but I get there in the end) and (c) the total lack of reason why he should, in fact, be required to drive me to the airport.

When we have picked ourselves up off the floor after laughing about it...

Oh Patient One: "Okay, but you should definitely take the A130 to the airport. It's a much better route than taking the A12, M25 then M11. Much less traffic, too. It only takes about thirty minutes."

Me: "But I like going the regular route A12, M25, M11 because I kind of KNOW that route."

Oh Patient One: "Well, I like that A12, M25, M11 route too, but last time I traveled to the airport I went via the A130 and it was just so much faster and there was so much less traffic. It's much easier, I promise!"

Me: "Oh, well if you're sure? And it's well signposted, right?"

Oh Patient One: "Absolutely. You can't go wrong. By the way, do you have Euros on you for the cab back from Rotterdam airport to the apartment?"

Me: "I'll get Euros from the ATM machine in Rotterdam airport, no problem. Now, you're absolutely, completely, totally sure that the A130 is the route for me?"

Oh Patient One: "Yes, it's a MUCH easier route. Get your coat, let's drive into Chelmsford city center and I'll show you the circle where the first directional sign is posted. Piece of cake...Now, you're sure you don't need to get Euros before you leave the country?"

The next evening...

Off I set. I reach the circle in central Chelmsford (it has to be said that the UK has a LOT of big circles. Many more circles than, you know, junctions with lights). All is good because I see the sign, "A130 - Stansted Airport" with that little picture of a plane on it. So far so good.

A little while later I reach the next huge circle (with about five billion exits) and there is NO sign for Stansted or the A130. NO little airplane avatar...I know this because I drive around said bloody circle several (okay, four) times to check myself on this. NO sign. Whatsoever. It is dark, it is rainy, I am in unfamiliar territory. The air in the car turns blue as I curse like a madwoman...

An hour later, after traversing a gazillion huge circles with very unfamiliar signs, I finally find a sign for the A12 and more familiar territory. I am at this point so close to Lovely Mother-in-Law's house (again) that I could pop in for a reviving cup of tea with her and Oh Patient One, but I am worried about getting lost again...

So, of course, I miss the turning from the A12 to the M25 (on yet another huge circle) and end up in North London due to no U turns being available for five billion miles. The air in the car turns blue again on account of much cursing!

Three hours after I leave Lovely Mother-in-Law's house I finally make it to Stansted airport, and I drop off the hire car no problemo, and I get my flight no problemo, and when I arrive back in Rotterdam airport and go to the ATM machine to get Euros for the Cab Home it is the Final Straw because IT IS OUT OF ORDER! More air turning blue...

Luckily I have strippenkart on me. I get the bus back to Rotterdam Centraal Station where, of course, I JUST MISS THE TRAM by a few seconds after running a million, gazillion yards with my luggage. At this time of night, i.e., nearly midnight, the trams are not very frequent. It is raining, it is cold and miserable, I am cold and miserable, but fortunately the ATM machine in Rotterdam Centraal is In Order. So I get some cash and get a cab home...

Let's just say that many reviving cups of tea were required for essential re-establishment of steady nerves. And I have only one question, dear chicklets. Is it just me, or what?

Posted by Michelle at 4:10 PM | Comments (7)

Comments

Posted by: wendy at December 10, 2006 5:42 PM

Posted by: Michelle C at December 10, 2006 5:47 PM

Posted by: Alesia Holliday at December 10, 2006 8:28 PM

Posted by: Eileen at December 10, 2006 8:28 PM

Posted by: Michelle C at December 11, 2006 2:10 PM

Posted by: Dia at December 12, 2006 10:53 PM

Posted by: kobe at December 22, 2006 1:33 AM