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December 23, 2006
Holiday Choppy Thoughts (tm)
Because it's really not a holiday without them...
It's been a while since I've had a good, erratic Choppy Thought post. And since all my synapses are short
circuiting so regularly that I can't hang onto a single thought long enough to actually maintain a conversation, it seems the time. So here we go...
... oh, and if you commented on Fish's blog last week, be sure to keep reading, because the winners are announced in this one (hell, I'm already getting choppy and I haven't even started yet...)
If you had asked me five years ago if I would ever consider myself a crafty type, I would have said, "Hi, I'm Lani. Have we met?" Despite this fact, this holiday season alone I have knit two socks, one hat, one scarf, and two christmas stockings for Sweetness and Light.
And I'm not done yet.Knit, knit, knit, knit.
Is it weird that I find it weird that the kids' school is celebrating Christmas outright? With no mention of Kwanzaa or dreidels? Has it been too long since I've lived in a small town?
I'm thinking about joining the PTA, only I'm a little intimidated by the whole thing. A) If you gave me a multiple choice test of the places where I really don't belong, and included a rocket scientist convention, a men's room, and the PTA, I would choose PTA without a moment's hesitation. B) They meet while Fish is working so I'd have to find a sitter, oh the hassle, and C) the Moms just freak me out. You know the Moms. I mean, yeah, lots of us are moms (lowercase) but I'm talking about the Moms. The competitive kind of chick who goes to these things solely to show off the fact that she's allowed her children to suck every last bit of life out of her WHILE baking brownies FROM SCRATCH and breastfeeding two high schoolers and one random neighborhood kid so... isn't she just the digginest Mom of all? Okay. I know I'm exaggerating and being patently unfair. I went to one Mommy and Me group when Sweetness was about a minute-and-a-half old and it freaked me out so thoroughly that I avoid Moms at all costs. But I just know that even if 90% of the PTA is totally cool, one Mom is going to freak me out. They're like sharks that way. You only have to see one to want to get the hell out of the water.
Yesterday, I ate two cookies and grew an extra ass. Fair? I think not.
I have to stop knitting and run to the store to get booze. You can do the holidays without a lot of things, but the liver damage is a must.
It's tradition.
Knit. Knit. Knit. Oh, holy God.
Okay. Fine. So it was more than two cookies. A good friend gave me a big tin full of luscious chocolate nummies and I've conducted myself shamefully. But still. It's not normal for an ass to balloon like that, is it? So quickly? I mean, when it's not an allergic reaction? I didn't think so. And yeah, the ballooning might be my imagination, but still. Yargh.
Oh, last night, Fish introduced me to "leet speak." Have any of you heard of this? I cannot myself explain it, exactly, but on Wikipedia... it's just fascinating stuff.
And not a little scary.
I heard a theory the other day that the star of Bethlehem was really a comet which they've traced back to five years after the birth of Christ. So, a) apparently, lying about your age isn't just for girls, and b) it's really only 2001. Which means I'm 30 again. I like this theory. I say, embrace the theory.
Sweetness caught a peek of the Wii in the closet last night, so Fish and I broke down and pulled out the big holiday present early. When I told Fish that we were weak, weak people, he said, "Yes, but we're happy." Then a tiny, cartoon version of him whacked the poop out of a virtual tennis ball.
Knit, knit, knit... oh, hell. I'm going to get the booze.
A happy, healthy, fun and hopeful holiday to you all from Casa de Fish! Thanks for hanging out with us here; you guys rock!
(Oh, and the winners of last week's giveaway... Jen and Theresa!!! Please e-mail me, girls, with your addresses so I can send you your books!)
Posted by Lani at 7:23 AM | Comments (8)
Comments
Happy holidays to you and yours, Lani. One more sleep.
Damn, I always forget how many hours we are ahead. Is it one more or two more sleeps for you?
We had our final drinks night with friends and family last night.
Isn't it amazing what you will put your liver through so the children can have a good Christmas?
Posted by: wendy at December 23, 2006 4:02 PM
I've crocheted myself into a stupor. However, I've learned to do that thing where you can make designs by crocheting with two colors at the same time. It's so exciting! I made potholders with a skull and crossbones on them! I'm called them Pirate Potholders!
LC Eileen
Posted by: Eileen ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at December 23, 2006 5:32 PM
I am dying to learn to knit. I have yarn. I have needles. I have the book "Knitting for Dummies". I cannot cast on to save my life.
The only socks I'm giving as gifts this year I bought at the store. *sigh*
Posted by: laurenjharwood at December 23, 2006 8:05 PM
I can't knit to save my life. I can crochet tho...I even crocheted 18' of garland. (on top of baking no less than 20 dozen cookies...)
Yes, I *am* certifiable...
Posted by: Jen at December 23, 2006 9:17 PM
For years at Christmas someone always got a sweater or a scarf or something knitted from me that was wrapped beautifully but included the needles because I hadn't finished knitting it. There were also Christmases where I stayed up to four or five o'clock to finish something for someone. Do not recommend that.
Good luck finishing your stockings. I never tried doing that. I just made the whole family felt ones one year and filled them. Cost a fortune. Not a good idea.
Now that I have given you all these rotten ideas Lani, have a wonderful Christmas, Hannukah, Festivus or Solstice or whatever. Just keep on being happy.
Posted by: Penny (with the flamingo eye patch) at December 23, 2006 10:38 PM
I'm with you on the Mom thing. They freak the hell outta me too. I figure if Stinky Boy is still alive at the end of the day, I've succeeded at parenting. If all his limbs are still attached, I get an extra gold star for the day. If he hasn't called his therapist, I deserve a shrine in my honor. Yeah, I don't believe in setting the bar too high.
Posted by: Janina at December 24, 2006 2:21 AM
Am I the only one who wondered if the two socks Lani knit were from the same pair???
Now I have to go look up Leek Speak.
Merry Christmas Casa de Fish, as well as all the other chicklets!
Posted by: Sheryl at December 24, 2006 12:13 PM
Leet speak : sheesh: that makes more sense, sort of, than talking vegetables. Veggietales not-with-standing - another strange expression. I need booze.
Posted by: Sheryl at December 24, 2006 12:19 PM
