OMG. I read that book! Back when I was a teenager. To this day, I'm still creeped out by the woman who married Ted Bundy and had his daughter AFTER he was convicted. I mean... wha????

Can you IMAGINE the intervention her friends held? "Honey, we just wanted to go out, have some tea, and see if we can find you a man who has never sexually violated the mutilated corpse of a dead girl with a pogo stick. You game? Sweetie? It's just because we love you. And think you could use, you know, possibly some medication."

I mean, it's one thing to ignore your friends' advice when they just think you could do better, but when your guy has murdered and raped his way up and down the Pacific coast, how do you defend that?

"But... he's so sweet when we're alone. I mean, not *alone* alone. There are the guards. And the attack dogs. And he has to eat everything with a spoon because he's not allowed sharp objects. But he says the sweetest things to me. He loves me for me. He makes me feel good about who I am when I'm with him. And I'd really like to bear his devil spawn. So, thanks for the advice, but I'm not letting this one get away."

This has fascinated me. For years. Just... ugh. Next to him, Wickham's a damn prince.

Well, I have kept quiet and gotten a friend angry at me when I told her after she broke up with the guy that I never liked him (and why). She was very angry that I hadn't told her during the relationship.

So, with her next boyfriend (in the same mode as the first) I told her the truth and she got pissed at me. We don't talk to this day. I believe she got married to him 2 years ago and I hope they are happy.

As far as myself I did listen to a friend with my first husband. My ex was a world class controller and had me terrorized. Most of my friends and acquaintances made sympathetic noises and promised to be there for me, but I had one (good) friend who told me he couldn't be my friend anymore. When I (shocked) asked why, he told me because I was being stupid and he wasn't friends with stupid people. I was astounded. I was the victim here, how could he act that way? But he was right and it was the wake up call I needed. I realized I'd rather be friends with him than married to my husband. I'll always be grateful for that honesty.

LOL on your genetically blessed "learning experience". And yes, I have one "nobody liked him" that I'd take back if I could. All I can say is I must've been bored. Very bored.

We've done this so many times with my sister that she promised that if three of us told her to break up with a guy, she would. So three of us told her and she ignored us. Then she caught him cheating on her. Again. Which I actually didn't think was as bad as when he made the New Years resolution to make her lose weight.

It's been a year now and we're still processing the break-up.

The LC Eileen

Yeah, I think it's like all the other advice, you take it when it aligns with what you've been thinking about anyway. I had one friend who got super-serious with a guy in college and there was nothing terrible about him, but we just didn't like who they were together so when she confessed she was thinking they might need to try being apart for a while, we immediately agreed. (Which in hindsight probably had her wondering, have they been thinking that all along? We were not too subtle in our encouragement.)

(Hanging head in shame) Yup, that would be me. My friends spent TWELVE YEARS trying to make me come to my senses. People still question my sanity. Just yesterday StinkyBoy asked me, "Uh Mom, what did you ever see in my dad?" I used the moment to teach him the importance of saying no to drugs.

"I used the moment to teach him the importance of saying no to drugs." LOL! Wish my cousin had said no more often--to men AND drugs! There would be four less screwed up kids in the world if she had...

I only had a couple of relationships (short term all of them) but I have to admit I wasn't thinking too clearly about the last one before I met my husband. He was really cute and he sang beautifully, but there was this teensy problem that he was also an ex-con... But he had changed! Really! Yeah. Ok. Then one night, after he had consumed a bottle of Jack, he confessed to me that he had killed someone who stole his stereo. And that he was a former heroin addict. Um, I decided after that it would be a good time to break it off with him. And by the way, he did time for stealing drugs from the pharmacy where he worked, not for the murder. Never caught him for that, I guess... TMI? So I was young and stupid. I didn't have a relationship with anyone for over two years afterwards. I was a little apprehensive, to say the least!! My grandmother was immensely relieved when I told her he was out of my life--she had never liked him at all, but tolerated him for my sake. So Ted Bundy? Yeah, you never know...