I feel your pain, Eileen. Speaking as a short person, hipster jeans make me look like I have legs from the knee down. Also, Dutch women are tall, so the jeans are always a foot too long! Sizes are confusing, too, apart from different brands being either generous or mean. A size 8 in the US is a size 12 in the UK, and size 38 here on mainland Europe! Or something like that...

What you need to do is expand your denim horizons. Clearly, none of the brands you have tried on thus far are the perfect fit for your particular body type. When you find the right brand, the heavens will part and the angels will sing and your booty will be a thing of grace and glory.

Sadly, the right brand is often expensive. (But WORTH it.) My magic brand is Tahari, and I shell out for a few pair every year, even though it pains my cheap-ass soul.

Ah, Beth. Beth. Beth. I always weep a little at your posts, with your $200 jeans and your $4000 hairbrushes, and fondly remember those days when my kids didn't suck up all my discretionary income and I didn't have to buy my own jeans at Old Navy . . .
Of course, a secret tiny part of me is waiting for the day you announce your pregnancy and discover that strollers cost more than my first car did. mwah ha ha

Sadly, I couldn't find anything at Old Navy that didn't make me look ridiculous. I wound up with a pair of Levi's 515s from Kohl's. It's sad when you're not classy enough for Old Navy.

The LC Eileen

Personally, I am happy to be getting OLD so that I can wear - don't let me hear you cringe now -- elastic waist, stretch cords from Land's End. Comfort.

I don't care what I look like, obviously.

I have a small statue of St. Elastica. I like to leave her small offerings before going to the mall.

Patron Saint of Bootylicious! OMG, I love it. I have to tell my 14yo daughter that one!
We both hate shopping for jeans. She's the same height, but without the years and 6 kids added to the hips.I'm short, I guess, so finding something that fits in length and hips is always a challenge.
I will be saying prayers to St. Elastica from now on.

For years I hated jeans because they were so stiff and uncomfortable, not to mention the only person who looked good in skinny jeans or jeans that sit on your pelvic bones, are those women who.....well we won't go there!
Last year I dscovered Coldwater Creek jeans, the ones with a bit of elastic, natural waist and OMG! I love them! Hey, it only took me 10 years to find a pair of jeans I like. *g*

Just a comment regarding how jeans will be the right fit if in one style it is size A, but in another style it needs to be size B.

The Levi's Jeans Store has developed this machine that can scan a person, and then recommend what style(s) and what size(s) will fit that person.
Levi's had said that they too agree that one person might wear a different size depending on the style of the jean.
So anyways, Levi's developed this scan machine, and this machine travelled to various stores to be used for a 2-week period. When the machine came here to Seattle a few Summer's ago, I went to the Levi's Store to get my free scan. (Prior to the scan, you answer a questionaire as to your preference of: 1.) fit at hips relaxed or tight; 2.) what type of waist-height(at waist;slightly below waist; low slouch).
Then, you stand in this large phone-booth-like structure, and the scan moves around you in 360 degrees.
From that, it gave me a computer print-out of about 8 recommendations for jeans, and each style came with the info for appropriate size, and length (in some styles, I was 'Short', in others 'Average').
It was interesting because it suggested some styles that I might never have thought to try on. So I went into the dressing room, and tried them on.
If you ever hear of this scan machine appearing at your local Levi's store, check it out, for fun. The scan is free.

I hate shopping because I am short AND fat--a hell of a combination that makes the fashhion goddesses scream and tear their hair out and throw shsarp pointy things at you when you even think about trying on a pair of jeans. Shudder? I think I go into convulsions!

I wish I had a personal shopper for things like that. I mean, I KNOW that I am going to look horrible, why should I have to go through that kind of torture? Just send someone out to buy stuff in my size--then I can just try it on in the privacy of my home and get it over with so I never have to step foot in a store again!

Jeans are bad enough--we won't even go into the whole bra thing....

Lucy! That phone booth sounds totally awesome! I'm convinced there's something out there that will work on me. I just don't know what it is.

Sheri, I know what you mean about the bras. They keep having bra-fitting events at the Nordstrom's in Sacramento and I keep resisting. I'd probably be a happier camper if I went.

The LC Eileen

LC Eileen, as a person that has been through nursing many children and having mybra size change each time, I used to really hate buying bras. Now, I really enjoy it. Go and get yourself professionally fitted. There is NOTHING in the world that will make you smile the same way that your shirts and dresses will, when you're actually wearing a bra that fits you correctly!

OMG! TypeKey finally validated me! I feel so special! As long as I don't think about jeans. *sigh* Personally, I don't think they make a pair of Levi's that would fit me, although I'd definitely step into the phone booth just to see. I hear you on the short and round part, Sheri.

I would love to try Cold Water Creek but do they carry real women's sizes?