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February 1, 2007
The Art of Late Blooming
Well worth the wait...in some cases
First, a disclaimer. Yes, I was (am?) a certified late bloomer—a condition which I look upon with equal amounts of nostalgia and self-pity depending on the day or circumstance when I’m reminded. I came about milestones, from buying my first lipstick to my first time, at my own pace because it’s what felt right even when it wasn’t. I’ve long since discarded the lipstick shade and the boyfriend—both just didn’t suit, if you know what I mean—and can finally say I’ve a pretty good handle on my life and myself as a person.
From cheerful kid, to awkward teen, clueless young adult to (practically all the time) mature adult woman with a clear vision of what my future looks like, in only three and half decades. It may have taken me a bit longer to get here, but here I am and not a moment too soon.
I have this kid; he’s a joy and a pain in the ass as most kids can be, but generally I really like him as a person as well as love him as a son. A few weeks ago he told me about this game called Kissy Girls he’s been partaking in during recess. Basically, the first grade girls raid the blacktop where the boys are playing, ‘kidnap’ them and make the boys their ‘slaves.’ The boys have to do the girls bidding until the end of recess. No kissing is involved and when I asked just to make sure, he looked at me like I was stupid and crazy.
Kissy Girls was invented by the girls, 6-year-old girls. When I was six I was playing a mean game of tetherball at recess. (I’d still be playing now if I wasn’t sure I’d really hurt myself. Late blooming comes with age, after all. ) Every day, as we walk home from school, I casually as possible ask him if he played Kissy Girls. Some days he says yes, still no kissing but there have been some close calls, and other days I’m flooded with relief when he tells me he played dragons and knights or Harry Potter instead.
Not that I think these girls are out to get my little boy, but I’m starting to suspect some are going straight from sleeping in footed pajamas with their stuffed animals to getting mani-pedis and waxing their underarms. (Something I myself tried last year for the first and only time.) They seem to be in such a hurry to grow up, and in many respects, they already have. They seem to know it all, seen it all and done most of it by the times they hit their teens. They charge ahead to meet the destiny of their own creation to ‘make it’, whatever that might mean to them, as soon as possible if not by yesterday. There’s no time to waste, no time to stand back and let ideas, thoughts and feelings simmer for a while.
I’m not talking about Getting Older Younger (GOY) a term coined by marketers where a five-year-old in pigtails can tell you that not only is your Gucci clutch a knock-off but it’s also so two seasons ago. I’m talking about doing away with a whole developmental stage. You know, the awkward stage our mothers said would build character and personality. And we believed them—mostly because we had no choice. Still, there’s something valuable in that speed bump between being a kid and a teenager and a teenager and an adult. It’s a time when a person builds up resentments, phobias and complexes that will last a lifetime and, maybe eventually, help you figure out who you are.
While I wouldn’t wish my teenage years (or the years that followed) on anyone, I do know all the angst, confusion and general yuckiness of it all made me, me. And maybe I’m not done blooming yet. The best may be yet to come. I can always hope so, at least. And while I might have never come up with a game like Kissy Girls when I was in first grade, I can appreciate why my son finds it a fun and innocent game. Because, at least for now, it is.
Posted by Margo at 6:00 AM | Comments (7)
Comments
Ooh, Margo, I know what you mean. Both my kids are in junior high now, but there were girls who seemed like they were ready to go to college back in fourth grade. There was the occasional boy, too, but generally the boys seemed more . . . clueless.
The LC Eileen
Posted by: The LC Eileen at February 1, 2007 10:48 AM
As a fellow late-bloomer, I can totally relate. Young girls today seem like a totally different species. What's the big hurry to grow up anyhow?
Posted by: Nancy at February 1, 2007 2:18 PM
Hi Margo! Welcome to the L.C.!
I'm dreading the day giggling girls will start calling my house and asking to talk to Sam.
Posted by: Whitney at February 2, 2007 9:34 AM
Sam is like three, right? Should start in about a year and a half, Whitney. :-)
The LC Eileen
Posted by: The LC Eileen at February 2, 2007 11:01 AM
Margo! First, welcome to the LC - so great to have you here! And also, you're really right. Kids are growing up way too fast.
I blame the Bratz dolls.
Posted by: Lani ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at February 2, 2007 10:12 PM
Can anyone see me? my comments are showing up. Welcome Margo!
Posted by: laurenjharwood at February 3, 2007 6:19 AM
Hmmm--the kids are still playing that game, eh?! Wow--that took me back a few years! We played a game like that in 3rd grade, but there was kissing involved....Girls are just like that sometimes! We can be aggressive little creatures--weaker sex my ass! Ask any boy who they'd rather play soccer against--boys or girls--and I can guarantee you that he will say "boys" every time! Don't let the little lacy dresses and pink bows fool you--little girls kick ass and take names! I know--I'm raising two of them!
Posted by: Sheri at February 3, 2007 11:48 PM
