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March 11, 2007
The worst movie in the world
and other news
Congratulations TeresaH! Navy Guy picked a number from 1 to 14 and it was 9, so you win the autographed totebag! Send me your mailing address at alesia@alesiaholliday.com and I'll send it along.
I confess, I am completely exhausted and hopeless. Launch week takes it out of a girl. But I have great news - ATLANTIS RISING will be on this week's Borders bestsellers list for all mass market at number eight! Yes, your very own Literary Chick is now a nationally bestselling author!!! There has been much shrieking and happy dancing here. So I just wanted to say a huge LC smoochy thank you to all of you who picked up a copy of my book. I love you!!
But on to the worst movie in the world. Times two.
Last week we watched THE WICKER MAN with Nicolas Cage and, seriously? the worst movie in the world. It was a botched version of the Summer King mythology and there were bees. In fact, the worst use of bees in movie history. Except it was supposed to represent his lost virginity. Or the need for honey on his pancakes. Nobody really cared by then, anyway. But there were bees.
Then, as if that weren't enough, we watched (part of) Stan Lee's LIGHTSPEED last night. It was an unrated DVD, which should have been our first clue. Lee Majors was the biggest name it it. Second clue. Dialogue written by first graders, clearly.
Lee Majors: "You shouldn't have gotten involved with him."
BayWatch Babe (yes, that's how she's credited on the DVD, I'm not making this up): "Life happens.:
And there was JUICE. The guy who got gamma radiationed (seriously, sometime I'm doing a marathon of all gamma radiation movies) and is now hyperspeedy has a metabolic problem.
So the doctor says this. (Again, I couldn't make this up)
Doctor: "Drink this special metabolism-stabilizing juice."
That was when the howling started. But it was me howling. METABOLISM STABILIZING JUICE??????? And don't get me started on the way you turned off the gamma radiation rays. There was a GIANT RED BUTTON. ON THE WALL.
We were high tech enough for metabolism stabilizing juice, but going with the giant red button on the wall to shut down the GAMMA RADIATION.
So Stan Lee's LIGHTSPEED, for the juice and the red button, is the worst movie in the world.
What is your worst movie in the world? Why?
hugs,
Alesia, who has to say it, just this once: Nationally Bestselling Author of Atlantis Rising (hee)
Posted by Alesia at 10:57 PM | Comments (11)
Comments
I can't remember the name of it (I'm sure I've blocked it) but it had Rutger Hauer in it and giant sewer rats.
It was awful. I was in Monterey CA, walked down a huge hill to see a 'real' movie and got to see that. Ugh, it made the walk back up the hill even worse.
OK, I just looked it up on IMDB and it must have been Split Second, but, honestly, their description of it and my memory of it - no where close to one another....
PS. Congratulations! That's wonderful news, Nationally Bestselling Author!
Posted by: Helen at March 11, 2007 11:27 PM
Many congratulations on being a national best selling author.
Thank you for watching that movie for your devoted fans. Mind you, I think you would have had to search high and low to find it in the first place. Mmmm, sounds like you haven't got over your girly Six Million Man crush.
GIANT RED BUTTON. ON THE WALL. Mwahahahaha
Posted by: wendy at March 12, 2007 1:20 AM
I don't go to movies very often, so when I do it had better be DARN good! I walked out of An American Werewolf in London because, frankly, it scared the piss out of me. It was a good movie if enjoy that sort of thing, but I don't, so that was it. The French Lieutenant's Woman that the movie people let me and my friend see instead, wasn't that great either.
But the movie that I really thought was terrible (and a LOT of people love it) was Throw Momma From the Train with Billy Crystal. I didn't think it was funny. At. All. Not even remotely funny. I am not even sure my hubby and I made ti the part where they toss the old woman off the train or not. It was so bad that we sort of looked at each other and went WTF? and left about 1/2 way through. And no, I haven't watched it since then either. I figure if I didn't like it the first time around for $8 or whatever it cost to see at the time I won't like it for $1.99 at the video store either!
Posted by: Sheri at March 12, 2007 2:34 AM
Have you ever seen Open Water? I couldn't believe it when I was finished. Truly the WORST MOVIE EVER MADE. I said, immediately upon watching it, well there's 90 minutes I'm not getting back.
Imagine my surprise a week or two ago when I was wandering aimlessly around Target (I do that sometimes) and I saw Open Water 2. Once was clearly not bad enough for those people.
Posted by: laurenjharwood ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at March 12, 2007 8:36 AM
I don't remember the name of the movie but it had something to do with children being put in pots and then turning into trees. Then there was this weird chick who got it on with some guy in a trailer and corn started popping so that the entire place was buried in popcorn. I think it was the attack of the kiler vegetables or something like that. I only watched it because I was at my aunt's and was so incredibly bored.
My question is what made you pick up these movies in the first place?
Posted by: cindy at March 12, 2007 8:42 AM
Oh, oh, and the vampire movie with Quentin tarantino and George Clooney!! what was that one called? DUSK TILL DAWN. It was so bad, I couldn't watch George Clooney on ER for months. DUSK TILL DAWN, worst movie in the world.
Posted by: Alesia Holliday at March 12, 2007 9:54 AM
In the children's movie category, I nominate DOOGAL. How could a movie with that many funny amazing people in the cast be that stupid?
In the adult movie category, I nominate SHOWGIRLS. Please don't ask me what led me to watch it in the first place (it was research for BALANCING IN HIGH HEELS, actually), but it was horrid.
Posted by: The LC Eileen at March 12, 2007 11:55 AM
Worst movie ever that immediately comes to mind and the only one I ever walked out on... "She's Out Of Control" starring Tony Danza. Yes. Tony Danza.
Posted by: Michelle at March 12, 2007 4:20 PM
Congrats, Alesia (Alyssa)! I have good luck/am extremely picky/extremely generous as far as movies seen in the theater, such that "Inventing the Abbotts" is all I can come up with for stuff I paid to see. I'm sure I have flicked passed and even watched u number of terrible movies on television - "Pearl Harbor" comes to mind, but thanks to DVR I either give up or start fast forwarding which improves a number of things.
Posted by: RandomRanter at March 12, 2007 5:30 PM
There are so many bad movies that I don't even know where to start. And I will freely admit that I have two categories of bad movies: really bad cheesy movies that I adore anyway (Night of the Comet with Catherine Mary Stewart and Robert Beltrane) and really bad movies that you would cross the street to avoid, let alone actually watch (such as the unrated version of Bad Santa or My Boss's Daughter, which we couldn't even finish watching).
And congrats on being a Nationally Best-Selling Author. That is just too way cool for words! *clutches my copy to chest*
Posted by: Dia at March 13, 2007 12:47 AM
Prairie Home Companion. Material Girls. Marie Antoinette. Super Troopers.
Yay for the bestseller status!
Posted by: Jennifer at March 14, 2007 12:24 AM
