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May 3, 2007
Unbelievable!
Will it ever end?
Mes cheres poussaines (because I am, inexplicably, in a French kind of mood today), would you believe me if I said that Oh Patient One and I went to the UK last weekend to visit family, and we encountered Even More Car Trouble?
This time it wasn't just down to moi and ma mal luck when travelling...
We arrived at London's Stansted airport which, by the way, is in the county of Essex and not in London at all, late at night after our flight was delayed by just over an hour. (I did warn Oh Patient One that he was doomed, because he was travelling with moi.)
Anyway, off we went to pick up our hire voiture. It was a dark, dark night, the parking lot was deserted apart from the spookily-appearing-out-of nowhere assistant (he was rather tall, gaunt and pale). After handing us the voiture key he disappeared, pouff, in a cloud of mist, and off we went to find our car.
First problem: How the hell do we unlock the bloody vehicule?
See, what the spooky assistant had given to us was not a voiture key, but a voiture credit card thingie. Where was the automatic clicky button that unlocked it? Oh Patient One and I marched for miles and miles (felt like, but was in reality only a few feet) to the nearest street light and peered at our credit card thingie. Okay, there was the little clicky symbol for unlocking. Finally, we could get on our way to Dear Mother-in-law's house. Or so we thought...
Second problem: how do we drive the bloody voiture with the bloody credit card thingie?
We searched for ages and ages to find a slot into which the bloody credit card thingie should be inserted. It wasn't anywhere near where you insert the key into a traditional car. Eventually, we found a secret place on the dashboard, so secret that it was practically underneath the dashboard, and inserted the credit card thingie.
Third problem: how do we switch the vehicule on?
See, nothing happened when we inserted the bloody credit card thingie in the bloody secret slot. After about five million hours (okay, so five minutes) we found a button on the dashboard that said, "push for ignition." So we did. Yay! We had lift off!
Anyway, I was driving that night and I certainly don't recommend driving down twisty-twiney narrow country lanes in the pitch black in an unfamiliar voiture.
Later, on the way back to the airport...
Remember back to when I was travelling to the airport alone, and the airport signs magically disappeared? For months afterward Oh Patient One laughed and insisted that the airport was clearly signed, and he couldn't understand why I'd had a problem. Except that it was me we were talking about, and we all know about my terrible sense of direction.
Anyhoo, this time Oh Patient One was behind the wheel, and pouff! The airport signs disappeared and Oh Patient One took a wrong turn! Mwahahaha, I cannot tell you how vindicated I felt. Fortunately, Oh Patient One has a tres bon sense of direction, and soon we were back on track.
By the way, the in between part of our trip - the part we actually spent with Dear Mother-in-Law - was merveilleux. Hever Castle, where both Ann Boleyn and Anne of Cleves lived at different times was completement wonderful! The castle, the history, the gardens, oh my!
Castle Hedingham was also pretty merveilleux, too.
So tell me poussains, tell me anything you like about your car stories, or favorite historical places, or favorite periods of history, or about ghosts. Merde! Go on, surprise me :-)
Posted by Michelle at 1:31 PM | Comments (6)
Comments
I have one of those newfangled cars with a push button. So what I have is not so much a key but a thingy with buttons. Anyway, this weekend I was at a conference with a bunch of teens. The hotel had us park in a lot that was accessible through the attached shopping center - ie - close but not convenient. One teen left her purse in my car. I handed her the key, told her what floor and didn't hear anything so assumed all was well. Turned out she had found another adult, they went out - couldn't figure out how to open the car. Thought maybe the car had gone into lockdown. Long story short(er) - it wasn't my car.
Posted by: RandomRanter at May 3, 2007 6:16 PM
We had a rental car on our San Diego trip. Actually, more of a rental boat since it had to accommodate five people, a wheelchair, a walker and various other equipment. Anyway, we came out of a restaurant in the pouring rain. All of us ran to the car and stood there while Sissy Two (who had the keys) ran to some other car and spent enough time to get us completely soaked trying to let herself into a stranger's car.
Posted by: The LC Eileen ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.literarychicks.com/nav-commenters.gif)
at May 3, 2007 7:14 PM
That reminds me of Bishop's Castle. A castle being built by one man since about 1969. It is awesome! It's in the mountains in Colorado and open to the public. It's not that old, but...
I love historical sites and things. Ever been to Scotty's Castle in Death Valley? Another cool place to visit.
Posted by: TeresaH at May 4, 2007 5:58 AM
No car stories. Don't currently own a car since it is more a pain in the backside than anything trying to park in London.
I do highly recommend, however, a trip to Bath, should you ever be in England. GORGEOUS. No castles, but who cares! Jane Austen used to live there! AND, even better, the sell the best viloet cream filled chocolates at this little shop called Minerva's. Mmmmmm....
Posted by: Pamela at May 4, 2007 6:57 AM
RandomRanter, that's too funny, LOL. (Although we very nearly didn't find where to put the card thingie into the dashboard to make the car go, it was the right car.)
Eileen, I've said it before and I'll say it again. I am convinced that we're related :-)
TeresaH, I'd love to visit Bishop's Castle one day. There's a mock castle/restaurant in NJ near where I used to live - Medieval Times. It's a blast because there's mock jousting and you have to choose a champion.
Pamela, hear, hear on Bath. I went last year--took the waters in the Assembly Rooms (yucky!), and had tea at the Jane Austen museum. I'm adding Minerva's to my "must visit" place...
Posted by: Michelle C at May 4, 2007 9:01 AM
A long time ago, I had an old, used mustang that I thought was the best. I was cleaning the interior one day and found between the seats a full-page love letter. A girl had poured her heart out to a guy. It had hearts over the I's and everything. Ever the writer, I always wondered what happened to that girl and guy. But the letter also reminded me that that old car had a history.
Posted by: Kimberly Llewellyn at May 4, 2007 10:02 AM
