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May 8, 2007

Stripping It Down

A tongue-in-cheek look at women’s names today

Ever notice today that women are running around with gorgeous names like Diamond, Destiny, or Dakota? They sound so glammed out, don’t they? Where did these names originate? Was a woman actually named after a precious gem? A girl-band? A U.S. state? I really don’t think so. If I had to, I could take one guess where names like these came from.

Diamond is a stripper name. A very popular stripper name. And it’s one of a few names pole-dancing their way into mainstream. (In fact, DH knows a guy who knows a guy who named his daughter after his favorite stripper. Am I the only one troubled by hearing about such a phenomenon? But that’s for another blog!)

Now, other names in recent years have also hello-kittied their way into mainstream America in addition to Diamond, Destiny and Dakota: Montana, Raven, and Savannah. And yes (gasp!) even Ashley and Jessica were once the crowning jewels when it came to names of exotic dancers.

Does that mean all women today are named after some famous exotic dancer somewhere? Gosh, no! Different regions have different popular names, too, that have nothing to do with strip clubs. And names come and go in popularity. It’s just interesting to see the correlation of popularity of some names in clubs followed by the popularity of those same names in the mainstream from time to time…is all I’m ah-saying.

So what other popular names are out there lurking, lap-dancing right now on the horizon? Oh, there are some goodies. They include Angel, Candy, Cherry, Crystal, Houston, Porsche, and Roxy. If your name happens to be on this list, then wear it proudly. They are all beautiful, glamorous names and do exist in mainstream. But they’re very popular in the gentlemen's clubs, too. And quite trendy sounding, like a nice Fendi handbag. (Huh. Fendi isn’t on the list. Give it time, I’m sure.)

What’s that you say? You’re disappointed that your own name doesn’t measure up to the glam of these names? Awww. Well, there’s a remedy for that. Why not create your own snappy stripper name? My author friends and I did this during a birthday luncheon recently. Two of the authors are inspirational writers, which made it all the more indulgent. So, what’s my snappy stripper name if I ever needed a second job?

Jubilee.

And boy, isn’t it fun when my writer friends and I are working on our novels at Panera, and we hear on the loud speaker, “Jubilee! Your order’s ready!” We all giggle while I go get my half sandwich and salad. As for my writer friends’ names, we have Cherry Twizzler, Corona-Corona, and Stormy Daniels.

If you are stumped for a stripper name, you can always fall back on the porn star formula to come up with an alias for a day. Take the name of your first pet you ever owned and pair it with the first street you ever lived on. My porn star name would be Collette Pleasant. Now if I could just get my pole-dancing down pat…

So, I’m bouncing it back to you. What would your stripper name be? Or using the formula above, what would your porn star name be?

Posted by Kimberly Llewellyn at 11:04 AM | Comments (20)

Comments

My formula name would be something like Muffie Edgepark. At least those are the earliest pet and street names I can accurately remember!

Unfortunately, I can't dance and in my current shape, I think the gentlemen would pay me to put my clothes back on and stop dancing!

Posted by: Jennifer at May 8, 2007 12:10 PM

See my porn star name is boring - Tolouse Alton. So, instead I have an evil twin named Tania. (It was Titania, but having an alias is pointless if you have to keep repeating it for people - I do that enough with the regular name.)

Posted by: RandomRanter at May 8, 2007 12:19 PM

Porn star name = Dozer Moral

My name is somewhat familiar in the clubs too. Let us just say that my first and middle initials are BJ. That caused me a ton of grief in high school. Add on my last initial S and it just gave them a lot of options.

Posted by: Jo at May 8, 2007 4:48 PM

Ooo. My own pet? Or the family? It could be Ginger Stockton or Corky Stockton.... If I was a stripper, however, I think I would like the name Cherry. Just Cherry. I tried to get my friends to call me that back in jr high, since it is a play on my real name, but it kind of fizzled out.

As for REAL names--my husband dated a girl with the name--I kid you not--Stormy Heart. Truly. I always thought it was pretty cool myself, but I know she got a lot of grief over it. Her folks owned a bar and she sang in it. True story.

Posted by: Sheri at May 8, 2007 6:56 PM

Calico Anaconda or Blackie Anaconda--I can never remember which cat came first. There are men who would pay for rights to the second one...

Posted by: Pam W. at May 8, 2007 7:28 PM

Me? I'd be Choochie Sterling. It actually sounds kinda preppie don'tcha think?

A few years back I was on a business trip with a group of people one of whom was celebrating his 40th birthday. One limo ride and many bottles of champagne later, we ended up at a strip club to get the birthday boy a lap dance. I refused to go in until everyone understood it was not me but my alter ego "Bambi" who would be entering that place. Well, Bambi was joined by Lola, Thor, Flash, Adonis, Queenie and Patches. Apparently EVERYONE had an alter ego for just such an occasion.

Btw Kimberly, you missed the story about my friend actually naming his daughter -brace yourself here- Lacey Stocking! Ouch!

Posted by: Janina at May 8, 2007 10:35 PM

I don't mind my name using the porn star formula, Rebel Walden :) Stripper name, hmmm, I'm kinda partial to Peaches I think

Posted by: Lis at May 9, 2007 12:51 AM

Hmmm...my porn name sounds more like a mans, Buddy Cape Gloucester. LOL My stripper name? How about Coco Puff.

Posted by: TeresaH at May 9, 2007 6:06 AM

If I went with the pet/street name I ever owned myself, I'd be Jinx McKeighan. Sounds more like a chick detective in an Erle Stanley Gardner mystery. If I went all the way back to the first pet/street my family ever had after I was born, it would be Sailor Lynch.

If I were a stripper... LOL... I wouldn't have to worry about a name - the men would be screaming "Put it back on! Put it back on!" Or maybe just plain screaming. But to the play the game right, how about Shanda Lear? ;o)

Posted by: B.E. Sanderson at May 9, 2007 9:05 AM

My porn star name would be either Sam Sherman or Stubby Sherman. I'm not sure if the dog or the cat came first. I tried getting my friends to call me Charlie back in Middle School. I absolutely hated my first and middle (Jean) names back then. I like them now though. =)

Posted by: Kylee{CTmom} [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 9, 2007 9:30 AM

Okay, am I the only one who grew up on a numbered street? And not even a provocative number. No, I'd be good old Amanda 24. *sigh*

Posted by: Dia [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 9, 2007 12:05 PM

Shanda Lear? OMG, I love it! Your entire post was hysterical.

Posted by: Janina at May 9, 2007 2:10 PM

My porn name would be either Lone Ranger North First or Tonto Pine Ridge. :) For a stripper name, I'd go with Chiquita.

Posted by: Christina at May 9, 2007 3:35 PM

OMG you guys! Stop it! You're making my sides ache I'm laughing so hard!

Posted by: Kimberly at May 9, 2007 6:43 PM

ok, by the porn formula my name would be Precious Rte. 85A. Hmm, for a stripper name- Belle Vue, they'd have to be crazy to pay mr to take my clothes off, lol.

Posted by: Berni at May 10, 2007 12:42 AM

My porn star name would be Bobby Fremont. I guess I could change the y to an i to make it more porn star-ish. Or is it porn star like? Hmmm.

My stripper name? Hm. How about Aphrodite? ;)

Posted by: Pamela at May 10, 2007 10:02 AM

My stripper name using the formula: Buffy Sheraton

Posted by: laurenjharwood [TypeKey Profile Page] at May 10, 2007 10:18 AM

Mine would be Chloe Cannelton. Oh la la. And now...taking the stage... ready to shake her ????? for you...IS... CCCCHHHLLLLLLOOOOEEEEEEEEEE CAAAANNNNNEELLTTTTTTTOOOOONNNNN!
tee hee... :0)

Posted by: Jamie at May 10, 2007 9:03 PM

Porn name using the formula - Tabitha Burgess. I also might be partial to Moneypenny Del Platino. Yeah, I like that one better.

As for the stripper name...this is kinda funny. I was a website where the author writes a YA series about witches and she had a witch name maker game-or something like that--on the site. The name it created for me I plan to use for when I write adult romance. But I also think it would make a great stripper name: Miracle Midnight.

Posted by: Celise at May 11, 2007 12:39 AM

My porn star name would be Bonnie Jay williams, not very porn-ish, could use the 2nd street I remember and be "Bonnie Harcourt?...stripper name? How about Tempest? ooohhhhbaaaaby....yeesssssss!

Posted by: Linda at June 20, 2007 2:33 PM

As of June 26th, 2007, Literary Chicks has closed its doors. However, the site will be here for a while, so feel free to poke around our archives! Thanks!



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