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May 31, 2005
Literary agents and Boy Scout camp and stress, oh my!
From Alesia, back hard at work
Taking a brief break from rewriting the ending of a book from something that sucked hugely to something that actually . . . um, makes SENSE in the story, to write about stress from two opposite perspectives.
From Boy Scout camp (7:30 a.m.) to literary agents (5 pm), the day was a roller coaster . . .
First, there was Day One of camp, to which Darling Son needed to be driven 45 minutes in the pouring rain (yes, that’s 1 ½ hours roundtrip) to a camp that had no actual buildings within which the boys could, you know, DRY OFF. But all of his friends were there, so of course he wanted to stay.
In the rain.
With the potential of (I found out later) actual archery. And BB GUN SHOOTING. He did not, you’ll be relieved to know, put his eye out, says me, the woman who watches A CHRISTMAS STORY every year. He did, however, manage to win me the golden ring of a phone call from the first aid tent:
Her: Darling Son’s Mom? (You lose all other identity when you have kids, trust me)
Me: Yes? [trying not to freak out on phone]
Her: Your son got bitten by something, and his foot and, well, his entire ankle are ballooning up kind of hugely.
Me: Something? Define SOMETHING, Please. (AS IN: Are we talking mosquito, any, tarantula, or RATTLE FREAKING SNAKE? This is Florida, after all, home of “everything icky that could kill you and probably will”) Also, please define HUGELY.
Her: We don’t know.
Me: His dad is on the way and should be there in 5 minutes.
The opposite side of stress was my phone call with my darling agent, who I’ll just call “Steve.” I was freaking out over a few issues this morning and had e-mailed him (we won’t mention the tense phone call I made last week from my retreat, where I was standing on a bluff in the middle of a herd of deer expressing my thoughts . . . loudly)
Me: This is a stressful industry.
Steve: Yes, it is.
Me: I --[insert boring crabbing about possible toilet-flushing noises of career sinking here]
Steve: No, you’re wonderful. You – [insert wise advice about taking the long view and patience and successes to date here]
By the time we hung up, I felt a zillion times better. (The two telephone calls I’d had with good friends helped a lot, too.) The moral of the story: Publishing is hard work and a tough business; I wouldn’t want to try it without an agent who believes in me and my writing so much.
Second moral: when you send your kids to day camp, stock up on Benadryl.
Hugs,
Alesia, mostly de-stressed
ps The cover art still isn't up, but check out the cool pre-release buzz NICE GIRLS FINISH FIRST is getting at Barnes and Noble.com!!
Posted by Alesia at 6:07 PM | Comments (0)
May 30, 2005
Issues...
A thousand pardons, chiquitas. For unknown reasons of technical supreme evil, I upgraded our software and now everything is kinda buggy, and it's late and I have no idea how to fix it tonight. So, I won't. Commenting is extra-skitchy - sorry! I will get it fixed soon. But, knock on wood, we can still post and amuse you! So keep on keeping on and I'll hopefully get this fixed soon!
Posted by Lani at 10:58 PM | Comments (2)
Last Guest Entry - and Winners!
From Marianne, May's Guest Literary Chick!
I’ve been sitting here for about 45 minutes trying to think of something clever and witty to write about for my last Guest Chick entry at the Literary Chicks. And you know what? I got nada, zilch, zero. If it were my own blog, I’d probably babble on about my first crush (Luke Skywalker), my favorite 80s movie (Some Kind of Wonderful), and then post some embarrassing high school journal entry about a skater boy named Brian or a photo from my favorite videogame. Yup, fascinating stuff, I know.
Basically, I like to keep my standards low and then I never disappoint my readers. :)
But here at the Literary Chicks blog, Lani and Alesia and Michelle constantly amaze me with their witty repartee (I had to spell check that!). Every day they come up with something funny, insightful, or just plain wacky to share with you guys. (Um, Hello Kitty toasters anyone?) It’s very impressive and, as I’ve found this month, harder than it looks. So I hope you all appreciate their efforts! I know I’ll go back to my own blog with a renewed sense of inferiority as I launch a “pathetic pictures from my past” week.
But before I go, it’s the moment you’ve been waiting for --- FREE BOOKS!
I’m giving away four (yes four!) copies of “A Connecticut Fashionista in King Arthur’s Court” – a book that’s guaranteed to be a lot funnier than my blog entries. :)
So without further self degradation, I give you our winners:
• Jeanette Jackson of Scarborough, Ontario
• Vic Wurgler of Fargo ND
• Kim Westgaard of Crystal Lake, IL
• Tina Kulesa of Newport, NY
Congratulations ladies. And thanks for having me as your guest blogger of the month! I had a blast!
Marianne
Posted by at 12:51 PM
May 29, 2005
A Bit About Stuff
From Michelle, thoughtful in Rotterdam
I sometimes wish I was a bit more organized. Actually, more than sometimes and more than just a bit, so while I was thinking about how I could achieve a bit more organzation, I realized that I was having a lot of other thoughts, too, and mebbe that was why I would never be as organized as I'd like.
Here are a few of them...
1. Paris Hilton. Isn't it a strange coincidence that Paris's new boyrfriend is also named Paris? I mean, what are the odds of that? And then I thought of something else to do with Paris--when Paris first began to hit the headlines, and I started to hear about her, I really thought that people were talking about THE Paris Hilton. You know, the actual hotel in Paris...
2. Gladys Knight and Rudy Giuliani were both born in the same year on the same day. I don't know why I thought about that, but there we go...
3. The Catholic church is planning a recruitment campaign in the United Kingdom because apparently their priest numbers are down to 1940 levels. The campaign will include posters on the Underground, and also on...beer mats in pubs!
4. Crazy Frog, a cell-phone ringtone, just made the #1 position in the UK singles charts. How bizarre (yet in a hilarious kind of way) that a crazy frog ringtone is top of the popular music charts.
5. The Home Office, a government department in the UK, is being asked to pardon Anne Boleyn, because even though it is 500 years too late, she was obviously innocent and shouldn't have been beheaded.
6. Chick Lit bashing. This happens to me sometimes. In fact, it happens to a lot of women genre writers in the Romance and Chick Lit fields. You know--people will make a thoughtless, disrespectful remark about the kind of book you write. And it can be irritating and red-face, steam-coming-out-of-ears making. But when this happens, which it has recently, instead of stressing over it or getting worked up, because it's not as bad as someone chopping off my head and then realizing 500 years later that it was a mistake, I think of ... Thought #7...
7. A while ago I received a lovely letter from a high school teacher. When she introduced herself to her new students at the beginning of the last school year, she told them that she loved Chick Lit, and then something really wonderful happened...her students began to ask her to recommend books. Well, the teacher lent out 32AA to one student after another, and then she wrote me to let me know that (a) some of her students hadn't been interested in reading before reading 32AA and had never finished a whole book before, and that (b) because they had loved my book, they had tried even more Chick Lit books and were forming a Chick Lit club! They are planning a T-shirt featuring....Ionic Bonding. This made me cry (but in a good kind of way).
Well, I'd better go think about how to become more organized--or mebbe I'll just think about the 68-year-old grandma in China who keeps fit by breakdancing...
Michelle :-)
Posted by Michelle at 1:33 PM
May 28, 2005
Big Spaz II: The Return of the Spaz
Lani, from I'M IN WALMART central!
For those of you who don't have the history on me being a Big Spaz, I refer you here.
So, anyway, I went to Walmart today...
... AND MAYBE BABY WAS ON THE SHELF, FACE-OUT, EYE-LEVEL RIGHT NEXT TO THE BESTSELLER GROUP.
Which, for those of you who don't know what Walmart means in this crazy publishing haze, is BIG YAY.
See, Walmart is a huge seller of mass market books. They don't stock everything, pretty much only buying the books they have a certain confidence will sell. And on top of that, to be put face out is good for sales. Face out, eye-level is even better.
And face out, eye-level, one book away from the bestsellers. Mega huge.
Now, that's not to say I'll be enjoying this prime real estate in every Walmart in the country, but I was in my Walmart, and that is Big Spaz inducing.
So, of course, the first thing I do is pull out my cell phone, call Fish and yell, "I'm in Walmart! I'm in Walmart!" Which made all the other people in the book aisle kinda walk away, because they didn't understand that what I meant was, "My book's in Walmart!"
That's Big Spaz Moment Number One.
BSM #2: I grab the books off the shelf and count them. Seven copies. Alternating between the dual-run blue and pink covers. Then I discussed with Adam which one I should buy.
Yes, I bought my own book.
BSM #3: I take my book to the cashier, and as she rings it, I say, all excited, "That's my book!"
And she, of course, looks at me as if to say, "Not until your card goes through it ain't."
And I say, "No, I mean, I wrote that book. It's my book. I wrote it."
To which she raises an eyebrow and smiles, as if to say, "They just don't pay me enough..."
BSM #4: I get the receipt, and I look on it, and it says, "RICH, LANI DI." And I say, "My name is on a Walmart receipt!"
To which the guy behind me in line, who showed up after the "I wrote the book" thing, smiles and raises his eyebrows, as if to say, "I knew I should have gone to Target. All the crazies are always in Walmart."
BSM #5: I come home with the book - the very same book of which I have numerous free author copies under my bed - and show it to Fish. We decided, together, as a family, to leave the Walmart stickers on it.
See. Told ya. Big. Spaz.
Tee hee hee. I'm in Walmart.
Posted by Lani at 10:34 AM
May 26, 2005
Phones, Trams, and The Internet
From Michelle, Wondering Why Me?
Ever so long ago, I did several blogs about my trouble with trams, phones, and just about everything else going wrong that could go wrong with anything when you are in a new country and calling any services for help is, gasp, TEN CENTS PER MINUTE and usually involves billions of hours listening to piped music at your own expense.
Well, here we go again...
Is It Just Me, Or What?
The Tram
Owkey. So, about 2 months ago some of you may remember that the tram line that runs near my apartment was suspended because the town is installing superduper new trams. You know, it was only going to be for a couple of weeks and, like the bionic man, they would be stronger, faster, better than they were before.
Well, we still don't have the stronger, faster, better trams...
The Phones
Owkey. So, I've had red tape problems in the past with (a) getting a phone line in the apartment, and (b) buying the wrong kind of phone for my apartment (who knew there was more than one kind of connection), so I ended up not having a cordless phone but one that is attached to the wall and then you are immobile while you chat to whomever you are chatting to?
Well, Oh Patient One and I were in large electronic store recently and we found cordless phones with excactly the right kind of connection for our apartment! Yay! Our days of being immobile whilst chatting were over!
We installed the batteries, we plugged them in, we allowed the appropriate amount of time for them to charge, we followed the instructions to the letter and...yeah, mucho time to charge later they still don't work and we cannot figure out why not!
The Internet
Mysteriously, I have been without home access for most of the week. No idea why. My provider insisted that my connection was working (when I finally got through after hours of that piped music at my own expense), and just when I thought it was oh no, back to the Internet Cafe for me, my Internet connection began to work again! Yeah!
So I don't have a cordless phone, and I don't have a tram service...but at least I can get online again!
Ah, the important things in life...
Michelle
Posted by Michelle at 11:57 AM
May 25, 2005
Me and The Ball
Lani-ani-ani-ani-ani... (that's my written version of an echo, which, if it worked, I wouldn't have to explain)
Hey, there, chiquitas! It's me. Sorry for the deafening silence lately. All my fault. Alesia's on a super-cool writer's retreat, Michelle's been sick, Marianne was waiting on me to get back to her for the Monday blog, and basically...
Here's me.....
... here's the ball.
But, apologies out of the way, how are you? I've been wondering about you. Missing you. See, life just isn't as cool as it was when you were around, making your voice heard, letting us know how you felt with lots of LOLs and etcetera. Well, never fear. I've got a solution. It involves commenting, and it's coming back.
But not today. I'm not that on top of things. Let's not forget the ball.
Shut up, Bob.
So, anyway, due to the dearth, I feel an inordinate amount of pressure to perform, to be amusing, to write something that makes it worth you coming back, every day, checking for input and getting a lame plea from me to test the commenting.
Well... did I ever tell you about the time I touched Michael Landon's pants?
Oh. I did. Um, how about the time I was on Car Talk?
Yeah. Huh. Hmmm. How about the time I saved the world from an impending Martian invasion?
Okay. Fine. You're right. That wasn't me.
Eh. I got nothing. But Michelle comes back tomorrow! She's always fun! And she uses funny Dutch words like flessenlikker! Go, Michelle!
Posted by Lani at 8:49 AM
May 22, 2005
Got a few minutes?
Hey, everyone, it's Lani. I'm trying to get commenting back on the site, and I think I've found a method that will work. I've installed it over on my site, and if anyone has a few minutes to test it out and leave a comment, that would be great!
More info after the link...
Now, unfortunately, the only way to stop spammers is to require registration through Typepad. Please e-mail me if this is a problem for you. Since about 90% of our commenters were repeat traffic, I figure this should be okay, but I can see how some people would be annoyed by it. Unfortunately, it's the only effective method I've seen to get rid of the bastard spammers, and it'll mean we can play with our readers again! So, go leave a comment in either my books or news section, or e-mail me if the registration thing would stop you from commenting so I can get a feel for the lay of the land.
Thanks! We love you!
Posted by Lani at 11:12 AM
May 21, 2005
Shameless Self-Promotion
Lani, Who Really Wants That Toaster...
Good morning! The reviews are in for Maybe Baby, which comes out to a store near you on June 1st. So far, I'm feeling pretty happy.
From Publisher's Weekly:
"Wacky characters, nonstop action, riotous dialogue and a "large, stinky, green chicken" give flight to Rich's latest romantic romp... the merriment keeps the pages turning."
From Noveltalk:
"Funny, and slap sticky, with a plot so crazy, it must be read to believe it. And keep the tissues handy for the flowing tears caused by the hysterical laughter. A great read."
From FreshFiction.com:
"This zany story is a blast. You have absolutely no idea what's coming next, and not because you're not sure whodunit. Nope. You're just not sure what Dana and Nick are capable of doing. Add in Dana's wacky mom being held captive by inept kidnappers and a fascinating thief with torn loyalties, and you've got a couple of hours of great reading. Light and fun, you'll enjoy MAYBE BABY."
I can live with that.
Okay. Gotta run. The kids are in their room, and I know I distinctly just heard the words, "I don't have enough fire power." Time to go give Sweetness and Light the hairy eyeball.
Posted by Lani at 9:24 AM
May 20, 2005
Writer’s retreat
Alesia, packing again
I'm leaving for Mendocino tomorrow for 9 whole days for a writers' retreat. I've never done this before, and I'm really looking forward to a week of discussing writing and working (and, let's admit it, no laundry!). In fact, the plan is to have my next proposal finished by the time I return. I have traveled more this year than in any year in my memory, and the part I hate the most is packing. [Look here for a question on what kind of packer you are!]
So, since I’m WAY too busy to blog, I’m going to post a sneak peek from my July book, NICE GIRLS FINISH FIRST. Hope you have fun with Kirby and a fab weekend!!
Hugs,
Alesia
Kirby – from NICE GIRLS FINISH FIRST,
copyright Alesia Holliday, Berkley Sensation (July 5, 2005)
Halfway through another twelve-hour day (but at least I’ll finally meet little Lauren this evening; I’m first-date nervous about that, trust me), Banning drops by my office.
Normally, I’d be totally up for a view of his lovely self, but . . .
. . . the bet has changed the way I look at him. For example, I never really noticed before that his eyes are too close together. Plus, all that thick hair is probably the kind that will bald prematurely. I never liked bald guys.
Euwwww. Don’t even get me started on the whole comb over issue.
He looks exactly like Hugh Jackman, my so-not-in-denial libido says.
Sighing, I look up at Hugh . . . er, Banning. I’m fairly sure that my head may explode into tiny pieces if I have to hear one more time this week about how I’m not nice enough. I’ve spent the past four hours trying to figure out how my figures are wrong. Either everything I learned in school suddenly vanished from my brain cells, or those numbers are right.
“Green. Your numbers are right.”
Oh-kay. People so have to quit doing that to me. Am I psychically projecting my thoughts? First Brianna, with ‘hopeless,’ and ‘door,’ and now Banning, with ‘numbers are right.’ Maybe I’m some kind of ESP mutant.
“Hello? Earth to Kirby? Did you hear me?” He smiles and props a shoulder against my doorway. “Oh, I get it. You’re waiting for my formal apology. Well, you deserve it. You were right, and I was wrong. I spent all night backtracking the figures to where the discrepancy came up, and it turns out the head of the team you fired had been feeding me the wrong numbers for months.”
He laughs, but it’s not a happy laugh. “I was wondering why our marketing figures were approximating the national debt of a small country. I should have checked into it a long time ago. Good job.”
I am, whether anybody will ever believe it of me or not, speechless. Luckily, it doesn’t last long. But discretion is probably the better part of valuing my job. “Thanks for letting me know. I’ve been tearing my hair out trying to figure out where I went wrong.”
I look down at my desk, battling the evil urge to do the happy dance all over my office, flinging budget papers wildly about. Gloating is so unprofessional.
Probably not nice, either.
“Is that all you’re going to say?” he asks, staring at me with a look of ‘this is so not the Kirby we all know and love’ on his face. (All right, all right, I may be ad-libbing the ‘and love’ part of that.)
I smile gently. “Was there something else you needed?”
He shakes his head, still looking confused. Am I really that prone to gloating? Um, oops.
He turns to leave, then stops and looks back. “How about lunch?”
Whoa. Where did that come from? Are we suddenly going to go back to the ‘just colleagues who are starting to be friends and might, in fact, think each other is a hottie’ phase of our relationship? As opposed to the ‘you’re a hateful bitch who couldn’t be nice to save her own ass, vacation, or – in fact – job’ phase?
I must have a weird expression on my face, because he shrugs. “If you’re busy, that’s fine. I thought we’d discuss your plans for coverage while you’re in Italy.”
“Well, I have to – wait! You just said for while I’m in Italy. You believe I’m going to win your bet, don’t you? Ah HA!” I lean back in my chair, cross my arms over my chest, and smile hugely. “I can’t believe you’re putting me through all this, when you know I’m--”
“I meant if. If you go to Italy.” But his lips are twitching at the corners when he says it, so I consider it a moral victory.
As I enjoy the truly lovely sight of his firm butt walking away from me, it occurs to me that I should have agreed to lunch. Maybe we could get this colleague slash friend slash potential we’re-two-consenting-adults-so-where’s-the-harm thing going?
Yummy. Except . . . No. No dating the boss. Just a professional, business-like lunch.
I glance at my watch, gauging how long it will take for him to reach his office, so I can call and accept the lunch date, then look up to see Brianna hovering at my door.
She shifts from one foot to the other, biting her lip a little. “Kirby, um, would it be possible for us, ah, I mean, are you free for lunch?”
I seriously have to look into this ESP thing. The Psychic Hotline: Not just a hoax, but maybe a new career direction?
* * *
Posted by Alesia at 8:51 AM
May 19, 2005
Reviewing The Reviewers
From Michelle, Whimsical in Rotterdam...
You know that saying about when life throws lemons at you, you can either (a) sink into the deepest darkest pit of doom and despair, or (b) make lemonade?
Well, today I choose lemonade making.
Here are some (made up by me but based on real) reviews...
* * * * * This is a work of astounding genius!!!!! I LOVE this book!!!! Michelle Cunnah is the most talented writer in the ENTIRE GALAXY! You must go out and buy this book right now!!!! Reviewer #1
Michelle comments: Dear Reviewer #1, you are obviously a highly intelligent person of exquisite taste and refinement.
______________________________________
* cunnah is the worst riter on the fase of the planet please please dont buy this book because its terrable and just becos a wuman has size 32aa breasts it doesnt mean that no guy will ever want her. im small and proude of it. small womin of the world yunite against this steryotipical big-boob mith! reviewer #2.
Michelle comments: Dear Reviewer #2, I am sorry you didn't enjoy my book. I am, however, a bit perplexed by your assumption that I was attacking people with small breasts, because the book is actually about a small-breasted woman who (a) doesn't get implants, and (b) finds true love. Good luck with English 101!
______________________________________
* This book is light, frothy and insubstantial. There are no lessons to be learned - in fact, it was a complete waste of this reviewer's time. Reviewer #3.
Michelle comments: Dear Reviewer #3, thank you for taking the time to read and review 32AA. However, I note from your other book reviews that this is the first romantic comedy you've chosen and that your preference seems to be mainly for non-fiction books about trains, baseball or weaponry through the ages. I am wondering if you incorrectly assumed that a book entitled 32AA had links to trains, baseball or weaponry. An easy mistake to make...
Michelle :-)
PS. Just joking.
Posted by Michelle at 12:26 PM
May 18, 2005
Did I mention my toaster broke?
Lani, Who Really Had It Coming...
Every author has a review story. You know, the review that made them cry and crawl under the sink with a box of Ho-Ho's and a bottle of Old Smuggler, only to be dragged out bodily by loving friends who, when shown the review, replaced the Old Smuggler with a bottle of Chivas Regal 12 and spruced up the under-the-sink area with some nice flowers and a lantern because woooo that was bad.
I come at it from a slightly different perspective, you see, because...
... I used to be a reviewer. Not a book reviewer, but a theater reviewer. And I was an honest reviewer, which meant if something sucked, well... I said so. I usually tried to be kind, unless something really sucked in which case, well... I said so. A clip from my greatest hits...
I've discovered the source of the strange whirring noise being heard around Anchorage since May 22nd; it's Charles Dickens, rolling in his grave like a rotisserie chicken in response to ACT's dire original adaptation of his classic story, "Oliver Twist."
- Anchorage Press, Vol. 12, Ed. 22 May 29 - June 4, 2003
Note: Now, before you decide that I'm a horrid wench who deserves to die a long and terrible death, just remember that you weren't there. You lose two hours of your life witnessing a director trying to shoehorn his buddy's smarmy folk-songs into the most shamelessly wooden adaptation of Dickens ever written, then judge.
Anyway, let's just say that pretty much anything I get, I figure I kinda have coming. And, if I learned anything from writing reviews, it's that no one cares. All they remember is that they saw the review. If it's great, they'll want to see the play because it's great. If it's bad, they'll want to see it because it's an underdog. People like to form their own opinions, and I think only in very particular instances will anyone who wants to see the play or buy the book not do so because of one review.
Now, if all of the reviews are bad... well, then you're into difficult territory. But one or two bad reviews just means you're reaching enough people, because you can't please everyone, and if you're reaching a decent number of people, someone is guaranteed to just hate the crap out of your book. For every book ever written, there is someone out there who threw it against the wall. It's really a numbers game.
Not that it doesn't sting when the person chooses to hate the crap out of one of my books in a public forum. But I tend to get over it quick, probably because I figure I have it coming, what with the karma and all. And there's no small amount of truth to the phrase "All ink is good ink." So, go ahead, hate my book. It's fine by me.
Long as you buy it first. :) After all, how am I going to afford this if you don't?
Posted by Lani at 6:44 AM
May 17, 2005
Reviews and reviewers!
Alesia, still recovering from the 2nd grade talent show
I ADORE reviewers! Especially, to be honest, the ones who say nice things about me!! They are all brilliant and possessed of unmitigated good taste. A good friend of mine, Julie Leto (who has a kickass book coming out next month!), calls nasty reviewers “booger-eating morons,” and I have to admit I admire the simplicity . . .
But I’ve never had any of those. In fact, I just received my first review for NICE GIRLS FINISH FIRST, and it ROCKS!! Lydia Funneman of Writers Unlimited said “Nice Girls Finish First is the perfect story for you to toss into your beach bag and enjoy on a lazy summer day.”
(By the way, in the spirit of not being a moron myself, I applauded my head off last night at the talent show . . . )
But, of course, there are those anonymous amazon reviews – or sometimes, unfortunately, NOT so anonymous . . .
Yes, one of my very first reviews for my very first novel, AMERICAN IDLE, was posted on amazon by my husband’s cousin. The subject line was: “Shaky first novel (but good)”
Now. Seriously. SHAKY??? As the FIRST WORD in the SUBJECT LINE??? He went on to identify himself as Navy Guy’s cousin. So, I’m immediately envisioning any random reader’s reaction:
Random Reader: Dude!! She sucks so bad even her FAMILY can’t say anything nice about her!!!
In the spirit of the First Amendment, freedom of speech, and freedom of expression, all of which I’m a fanatic about, naturally I called him immediately.
Me: Dude! How are you? Enough about you, already. What the HECK were you thinking???
Him: But I gave you 4 stars!
Me: SHAKY??? Why would somebody want to buy a book that somebody in my (husband’s, let’s be clear here) family calls SHAKY?? And I checked out your reviews. (He’s a 20+ guy). You’ve ever only read or reviewed comics in your ENTIRE LIFE and you pick my first book to decide to review CHICK LIT for the first time??? Then you say the ROMANCE wasn’t convincing??? Um, HELLO??? Which one of us probably knows more about ROMANCE from a CHICK’S perspective???
Him: I can take the shaky part down.
Me: Deep, deep sighing.
So I love reviewers. Family members . . . yeah. We just won’t go there.
Hugs,
Alesia
p.s. CAVEAT to any in-laws who may read this blog: Just kidding, of course!! I adore you all! :)
Posted by Alesia at 9:08 AM
May 16, 2005
Responding to Amazon Reviews
From Marianne, May's Guest Literary Chick!
Don’t you wish you could, as an author (or reader) respond to people’s Amazon comments much like you can respond to eBay comments? When someone leaves you bad feedback on eBay, you can add a comment to defend yourself. For example:
NEGATIVE – Never sent item
SELLER RESPONSE – I never sent item because the jerk didn’t send me any money. Second the deadbeat pays me, item is in the mail. Jeesh!
This way the next buyer can see both sides to the story. Not so with Amazon. With Amazon anyone can rip you apart (including your ex-boyfriend) ---anonymously and without you able to defend your work.
Now as a professional writer, I’ve been told I need to ignore these comments. Not read them. Pretend they don’t exist. Well, this morning, I’m taking a little time off from being a professional writer to respond to some of the Amazon comments.
Watch out – it’s bound to get a little snarky! :-) My disclaimer is this: Everyone is entitled to their opinions and I respect them for posting them for the world to see. I’m just having a little fun.
Here’s one from Barnes and Noble:
Sherry from Ohio, A reviewer, April 29, 2005,
nothing new here
i read this because of the cool cover, but it's only the retelling of twain's book, except with a female protagonist doing silly things. i feel a bit cheated. what story will the author re-write for the next book? really disappointed.
--
Dear Sherry,
Wow, really? “A Connecticut Fashionista in King Arthur’s Court” is a retelling of “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court” with a fashionista instead of a Yankee? Who would have thought – with a title like that?!
BTW I hate to break it to you, but I intentionally never read A CT Yankee by Mark Twain cause I didn’t want to be influenced. Actually, I read the first couple chapters and then put it aside. So to find out that I ripped off the book without having read it – well that must mean I’m somehow channeling the ghost of Mark Twain. Rock on! Hopefully he’ll stick around for future books as I hear he’s a pretty good writer.
PS Since you asked, I’m re-writing the Robin Hood story for the next book, just FYI.
PPS What’s with the no capital letters thing?
---
Disappointment in Camelot, May 15, 2005
Reviewer: J. Maxwell (Parker, CO)
This sounded like such a fun book but I became so annoyed with Kat that I couldn't finish it. This is a 29 year employee with La Style magazine who certainly knows her shoes but her language....do 29 year olds still "like" every other word? I thought only 14-16 year olds and basketball players still "like." Please tell me they grow out of it.
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Dear. J. Maxwell,
In my, like, experience, 29 year olds, like, definitely do, like, say “like” every other word. As do some 31 year olds. Sorry to disappoint you with the sad state of American vernacular, but it’s true. I noticed from your other reviews that you are a children’s librarian and perhaps you think I should set a better example with my writing. Problem is, I enjoy being a bad influence.
PS If you think Kat’s a sloppy speaker, wait ‘til my YA books come out!
---
Luckily so far the majority of my Amazon and Barnes and Noble comments have been wonderful. And I thank my reviewers profusely for being willing to take the time to go on Amazon and tell others about the book. I love you guys! :-)
And for those of you who hated the book – hey – you’re entitled to your opinion. I am fully aware my writing style is not for everyone and I’m all for the free speech thing. So thank you as well, for exercising your rights as readers. Hope you don’t mind I had a little fun exercising mine.
OK - back to being a professional writer and dishing about hot British men on my own blog site...
Marianne :-)
Posted by at 7:05 AM
May 15, 2005
Because I said so
From Michelle,
No matter how lovely they are all kids will push you when you say no to something that they either (a) want to possess or (b) want to do, with that endlessly repeated question designed especially for parental torture: "But why not?"
And as a parent I do try to justify my answers to The Teenagers, but sometimes, when pushed and pushed and pushed, there really is only one thing to say.
Example #1
Teenager: "Can I borrow my next month's allowance because I spent this month's already and..."
Me: "But if I lend it to you, you won't have any money next month and then you will want the following month's money next month."
Teenager: "But there's this cool computer game I really want and I promise I won't ask for any money next month."
Me: "This is what you're going to do. Save the rest of this month's allowance, and then by next month you'll have enough to buy the game, anyway."
Teenager: "But that's exactly my point. I'll be buying the game, anyway, so it might as well be now."
Me (attempting to teach value of money and value of longing for something that you have to wait to obtain because the possession will be that much sweeter): "No."
Teenager: "Please, please, pretty please, I promise I won't ask for any more."
Me (feeling mean and horrible): "No, hon, you need to wait until next month."
Teenager: But it's not fair, and at the end of the day it doesn't make any difference when I have the money, because I'll still want the game in two weeks' time when my next allowance is due, anyway."
Me (feeling even more mean and horrible): "No. I've explained why not."
Teenager: "But--"
Me: "No, and I don't want to discuss it any more."
Teenager: "But why not?"
Me: "I just don't think it would be a good idea."
Teenager: "But why?"
Me (getting frazzled): "Because I said so."
Example #2
A Teenager is hanging at a friend's house with some other friends. He has his curfew. He knows what time I am expecting him home and I have told him that this is my final word. He agreed prior to leaving our apartment. And then, half an hour before curfew he calls me...
Teenager: "Mom, the guys are all staying until 2am, so can I?"
Me (feeling mean yet stalwart): "No, that's way too late."
Teenager: "But everyone else gets to stay out until 2am."
Me: "Who? Name me some names and I'll call their moms to see what's going on."
Teenager: "Oh, I haven't got my friends' home phone numbers, only their cell phone numbers."
Me: "Ask them to tell you their home phone numbers then you can tell me."
Teenager: "Actually, Friend #1 said I can stay over if I like."
Me: "No, it's just too short notice and not fair on his parents," I say.
Teenager: "But why not?"
Me: "Because I don't know Friend #1's parents, and I'd rather meet them before you stay over. Plus, it's unfair to ask at the last minute."
Teenager: "But I'm too tired to come home, now."
Me: "Okay, I'll get the metro and come and meet you. I'll be there in fifteen minutes." (Bearing in mind that the public transport system and our bikes are the vehicles available to us, as we live in a city center and do not need a car at $8 per gallon for gas).
Teenager: "But Mom, that makes no sense. You're short and small and it's dark. I'm six feet tall and have a blackbelt in jujitsu."
He does have a point...
Me: "Okay. Well, I'll see you in fifteen minutes then when you arrive home."
Teenager: "But why can't I stay? It's just not fair. Pretty please..."
Me: "Because, hon, I said so."
It's hard sometimes...
Michelle :-)
PS: About the "must have" computer game. Two weeks later when The Teenager had the money to buy it, The Teenager decided that it wasn't worth it because one of The Teenager's friends bought it and told him it was terrible, anyway...
Posted by Michelle at 1:04 PM
May 13, 2005
Fairness and ninjas and princesses, oh my!
Alesia, remembering that it’s Friday the 13th
So I mentioned that it was darling son’s birthday Monday. The problem with birthdays, of course, is that (unless you did the twins or triplets thing) it’s rare that all of your children’s birthdays fall on the same day.
This causes great CONSTERNATION in the non-birthday child.
Today, we finally made it to MINI CAPITALISTS R US in order for Darling Son to spend some of his birthday cash. Princess Daughter wasn’t all that thrilled with the concept.
Here’s how it went:
Princess: It’s not FAIR. My brother is SPOILED.
Me: He is not spoiled; it’s his birthday. You just spent your allowance on two toys today.
Princess: But he has a BILLION dollars.
Me: No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t have that much.
Birthday Boy [helpfully]: Yes, I do!! I have A HUNDRED AND THREE DOLLARS!! It’s ALL MINE!!!
Princess [pouting]: It’s NOT FAIR.
Me [reaching for Advil]: But on YOUR birthday, YOU had all the money to buy presents.
Princess: But that was FOREVER ago.
Me: No, it was only three months ago.
Princess: Right. FOREVER.
Me: Let’s discuss temporal relativity.
Navy Guy: She’s five, Alesia.
Me: Oh, yeah. Fine. YOU explain it.
Navy Guy: It’s your brother’s birthday, so we’re just going to give him a chance to spend a little bit of his birthday money. You already have your toys, Okay?
Me: [snickering at his foolishness] Oh, that should work, honey.
Needless to say, Birthday Boy found the perfect Ninja set (just the thing for those Florida weekends), and Princess wound up with a secret present of her own . . .
Here’s the thing. I know on an intellectual level that spoiling my kids is a bad thing and I should make them wax the walls and scrub floors with their toothbrushes or something. But we were so poor when I was a kid that I started high school with only three pairs of pants that I had to wash mid-week and rotate. (You think the other kids didn’t notice? You don’t know teenagers.) So my heart says, one more little present won’t hurt . . .
Plus, they are the most wonderful, beautiful, and best-behaved kids on the planets. Except for, well, when they’re not. And the amazing thing is how much I love them either way. How just the idea of them leaving for college can bring tears to my eyes and an enormous lump to my throat.
Okay, I have to go swordfight with a tiny ninja now and play with Princess and our new remote-control Polly Pocket car.
Hugs and happy weekend,
Alesia
Posted by Alesia at 8:42 PM
May 12, 2005
The Truth about Teenagers
From Michelle, Broke in Rotterdam...
Motherly love is...
1. When A Teenager forgets to use the brand new strippenkart you purchased for travelling to school on the metro, and then gets stopped by the ticket inspector and fined $55, and is so upset and sorry about it that you forgive The Teenager instantly. (Because This Teenager is just like me--a bit forgetful)
2. When A Teenager accidentally gets your cell phone wet, and then it doesn't work anymore, and The Teenager is so upset and sorry about it that you forgive The Teenager instantly. (Because This Teenager is just like me--a bit clumsy.)
3. When A Teenager forgets that crossing the road when the pedestrian light is red is highly illegal--a heinous, terrible crime (although there is no traffic in sight except for a police car across the road), and then gets stopped by the police for jay walking and fined $30, and is so upset and sorry about it that you forgive This Teenager instantly. (See earlier remarks about similarity to mother.)
4. When A Teenager loses the brand new cell phone you bought to replace the water-logged cell phone, and is so upset, really upset and sorry, because this is the second cell phone disaster, and The Teenager wants you to use all of The Teenager's allowance for the next billion years to pay for it, that you forgive This Teenager instantly.
5. When both The Teenagers sneakily plot to get you the best Christmas present in the world and then go to the author's booksinging to get it autographed for you (it was Feast! by the incomparable and funny Nigella Lawson. I cried...).
6. When A Teenager brings you a cup of tea just because The Teenager knows you've been attached to your keyboard all day and thought you might like one.
7. When A Teenager calls you just because The Teenager wants to hear the sound of your voice.
8. When A Teenager downloads music onto The Teenager's MP3 player for you, because The Teenager thought that you would love to listen to a selection of all your favorite bands while you work (I cried...)
But mostly, it's just fun hanging with The Teenagers, because they are the brightest, nicest, kindest, most intelligent, most fabulous people on the face of the planet!
Not that I am biased, or anything...
Michelle :-)
PS. The water-logged cell phone made a miraculous recovery and is now fully functional.
Posted by Michelle at 10:33 AM
May 11, 2005
Most Days
Lani, wishing someone would tell her to take a nap every day
I write this from my bedroom, where I've retreated in frustration as my two darling daughters hurl plaintive cries against the darkness that is naptime.
Actually, my older daughter is six and usually doesn't get naptime, but she threw a fit and didn't eat her lunch so... in she goes. I am currently trying to figure out which saint is the patron saint of sleeping children, and I'm not even Catholic.
That's how desperate I am for some peace.
I've been told by some of my friends who have yet to traipse down the yellow brick road of motherhood that my honesty about the experience of motherhood can be somewhat daunting, in the sense that I make them want to never, ever have children. (Hi, Beth!) So I've decided, in the interest of further stressing the resources of an overpopulated planet, to go ahead and try to comfort all the pre-mothers out there by lying my big, fat ass off.
Which, by the way, wouldn't be quite so big and fat if I hadn't had children.
Okay. Out with the truth. In with the lying.
The pain of childbirth isn't all that bad. Just learn how to huff and puff and blow your maternity ward down. It'll be fine.
Stretch marks go away.
Baby weight goes away.
All babies start sleeping through the night by six weeks.
Breastfeeding is natural, and therefore easy.
As long as you love your children and do what you genuinely believe is best for them, arrogant strangers who know nothing about your child or your life won't judge your choices.
Your sex drive will come back.
Life will return to normal.
You can do it all.
You will never say something, then succumb to a panic as you realize that it's exactly what your mother would have said.
Okay. Now that I've told you the lies, I'm gonna go back to the honesty, just for one line.
There is nothing in this world that will bring more joy into your heart than that child, and for that joy, you will live with everything I've mentioned in this essay and consider it a damn bargain.
Well. Most days, anyway.
Posted by Lani at 12:25 PM
May 10, 2005
Competitive Mothering
Alesia, launching motherhood week
Since we had so much fun with Shame Week, we at the lit chicks have decided to do a few more Theme Weeks. First up, for obvious reasons, is Motherhood week. All three of us are moms, with kids ranging in age from barely older than toddler (Lani) to college-bound (Michelle), and thought we’d take a moment to chat about the wonder and awfulness that is mothering.
Competitive Mothering: The Extreme Sport
Okay, so darling son turned 8 yesterday (which is nearly impossible, since he was just born, but these things happen), and we turned his birthday into a 2-day event. First, we had a birthday party on Sunday for him at the bowling alley (trust me: HE wanted this – there is no part of the phrase RENTED SHOES that does not make me shudder) and hosted 15 or so kids all in the four-feet-tall and under variety.
I’m still TWITCHING.
Then, yesterday, as if there weren’t enough excitement, JUNK FOOD, and sugar at the party Sunday, I threw a pizza party for his entire second grade class. Did I mention I stayed up TILL MIDNIGHT the night before baking cupcakes?
It was all fun, but it made me wonder: when did birthday celebrations turn into such a huge ordeal? When did "here’s a cake I made, invite a few neighbor kids over" fall out of favor?? When I practiced law in Pensacola, there was one attorney who wasn’t happy unless he spent THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS on his daughter’s birthday. Seriously. Pony rides, clowns, actual carnival rides, even a band to play music. The whole thing catered, of course.
The kid was five.
It’s INSANE. It’s freaking nuts. What is a kid like that going to want when she turns 18?? Her own SMALL COUNTRY???
Bowling parties suddenly sound much more rational.
Hugs,
Alesia, whose now-8 year old son reacted to all the excitement by yarking all over the bathroom last night. Sigh.
ps: for a pic of me with the Norwegian Basketball Team, go here
Posted by Alesia at 1:42 PM
May 9, 2005
Freaking Bookmarks!
From Marianne, May's Guest Literary Chick!
Sometimes I feel like such a slacker.
Seriously. You see some romance authors who go the extra ten miles when it comes to promoting their books. They create clever kits, filled with goodies to send to booksellers, hoping to entice them to mention their books to customers. They hire expensive publicists to hock their books to media outlets – magazines, radio, TV. They make up deluxe baskets to give away at local and national conferences.
I don’t even have freaking bookmarks.
That’s not to say I wouldn’t like bookmarks. Or baskets. Or especially a publicist. It’s just that my book came out in May and my husband’s a landscaper. So in the winter, money is a bit tighter and funnily enough we like to spend it on these non-book promoting things called “rent” and “food.” That’s not to say we’re living at the poverty level. We’re certainly not. However, when all the bills get paid, there’s usually very little left over to spend on book promotion.
But I was determined to create a buzz about A Connecticut Fashionista.in King Arthur’s Court. This book is my baby and everyone wants their baby to do well in the world. So I began to look for inexpensive and free ways to promote my book. Here are a few that I found.
Blog Site – I created a blog site that I update daily. It’s free and 75% of traffic coming to my regular author website comes from my blog site. If you don’t have a blog, I highly recommend it. Instead of visiting your site once and forgetting about you and your book, people return daily. If you don’t think you can update it every day, do what the Literary Chicks do and partner with your friends. And it doesn’t have to be clever, witty essays or writing/publishing wisdom. It can be random blathering about whatever’s going on in your life.
Interviews and Essays – Whenever anyone needs an author article or q&a – write one. Dorchester put an essay of mine on their website. Walden Books included my letter to readers in its newsletter. When Kelly St. John started doing “The Call” articles, I shared my story. When the Literary Chicks asked me to be a guest blogger, I signed up. I even emailed RT and asked if they could do a profile of me in their Clubhouse section the month my book came out. I can’t afford to take out an ad in RT, yet it didn’t cost me a dime to be featured in the article.
Speaking Engagements – Volunteer to speak at your local chapter meeting or conference. I gave two workshops at the New England RWA conference and was on two panel at the Romantic Times convention (which btw is expensive but completely worth it!) I also pitched and was selected to give a talk at Nationals. How did I get selected? I partnered with a well known chick lit author (**waves to Alesia**), then we stacked the panel with my agent Paige Wheeler and my editor Kate Seaver. I have noticed a direct correlation between giving a speech and having attendees come up to buy your book at the book fair afterwards.
Romance the Media – I won’t get into what I did on this one ‘cause I work for a tv station so I have different connections in this respect. However, I will say, you don’t need a publicist to get media attention. Sure, it’s easier, but if you do the same legwork, you can get into magazines and on tv by yourself… saving thousands in publicist fees. SHAMELESS PLUG: If you want more info on how, buy my workshop tape from the New England RWA conference called “Romancing the Media.”
Have a Launch Party – Tomorrow I am having a launch party at a trendy bar in Boston called Croma. My publisher isn’t paying and it’s not costing me a thing either. Basically we found a newer bar that was hungry for publicity and convinced them to let us use their space for an open-to-the-public book party on a Tuesday night. (Which tend to be slow.) Then we got my publisher to donate 50 books and are doing a deal where if you buy a book you get a free drink coupon. The bar is even making special martinis in honor of the party – The Fashionista, The King Arthur, even The Mancusi Martini!! We invited everyone we knew and also the local media. It’s going to be fun, hopefully create a buzz, and is totally free.
Okay those are just a few suggestions, but I think you get the idea. The point I’m trying to make is I’ve been able to create a lot of buzz by doing things that don’t cost a lot of money. And you can too. Sure, I’d take a publicist any day of the week, were I to suddenly be able to afford one. But you shouldn’t be made to feel inadequate in any way because it’s not in your budget.
Though I have to tell you, I do have a bit of a bookmark envy thing going on. Maybe by Nationals…
Marianne
Posted by at 7:05 AM
May 8, 2005
Highs and Lows
From Michelle, Recovering in Rotterdam. . .
Finally, I'm back from the hiatus of my American trip to St Louis. Yes, I am slow catching up (as usual), but things have been manic since I arrived home. It was so lovely to hang with fellow chick Alesia and guest chick Marianne, and see other friends and make new ones...
And here is a brief roundup of my highs and lows since I was last here.
Highs
1. I got to go to America and spend time with friends (and pretend that I was American for a bit, too).
2. I closed on my American house (which is also kind of a low point, as it means I no longer have an American address, sniffle).
3. Oh Patient One bought this CD for me yesterday, to celebrate house closure, and I am having another InJohnnyLove moment or two...
4. I read a really, really fabulous book called The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time and it was one of the best books I've ever read. Really.
Lows
1. I overslept on the day I was due to go to America and had to throw my stuff together really, really quickly. It was only when I was on the plane that I wondered, "Did I pack any underwear?" (Whew, yes, I did, but I wasn't able to check until I arrived in St Louis.)
2. The airline accidentally messed up my flights and I had only 35 minutes to change between planes on the return trip. I noticed this particular problem half-way across the Atlantic. So I went to the airline desk when I arrived in America, and the very nice rep changed my ticket.
3. I callously threw red wine all over the lovely white skirt of Lovely Publicity Person from my publishing house. Actually, I didn't callously throw wine all over her at all, what happened was that when I stood up to hug her, in my usual nonelegant way I knocked over the glass of wine and it went all over her and me (and my khaki pants). BTW--Lovely Publicity Person really is just that, and was very kind and understanding about it. And the skirt is just fine, now...
4. We bought new, cordless phones yesterday because the ones with wires attached to walls were driving us mad. Anyway, knowing our luck with telephones they don't actually work. Am off to consult Jef and Dan to ask them to translate the complicated Dutch subtext on the user leaflet...
Michelle xx
PS. Magpie update: I think the magpies have laid eggs, now, but it's a bit hard to see the nest on account of the tree suddenly springing into leaf.
Posted by Michelle at 11:37 AM
May 6, 2005
Virtual Sex!!
Alesia, on final days of avalanche mode. . .
Okay, it’s really virtual blogging, not sex, but I got your attention, didn’t I??
First up (drumroll, please!) is the talented debut author Kyra Davis. Her first mystery chick is out now!
Hugs and happy weekend,
Alesia
WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE ME
Over the last few weeks I’ve been interviewed several times by different periodicals due to the recent release of my novel Sex, Murder And A Double Latte. I’ve learned that there are a few questions that will always come up:
1) What prompted you to write a chick lit murder mystery?
2) Why did you choose to explore the idea of life imitating art?
3) What’s it like to be a biracial woman?
The phrasing of the last question tends to vary—sometimes it’s “What was it like growing up biracial?” or “Are your experiences as a biracial woman similar to those of your protagonist’s?”
But no matter how it’s phrased the question is always saved for last because as hard- hitting as these journalists may normally be they seem to all harbor the fear that the question might not be PC. They needn’t concern themselves with such things; I’m difficult to offend and I’m happy to answer their questions. The problem is that the answer to that particular question isn’t on the tip of my tongue. Up until now I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about my ethnicity.
Like my protagonist my mother is Jewish of Eastern European descent and my father was Black. I have always felt very connected to the Jewish community and I’ve never considered myself to be White, nor has anyone perceived me as such. Puerto Rican, Brazilian, Latina, Middle Eastern, those are all nationalities that have at one point or another been wrongfully applied to me but no one has ever said “Hey, any chance you’re Swedish?”
It’s true that there have been times when I was subjected to both racism and anti-Semitism. But most of the time my race isn’t a big focus for those I interact with. That’s partially because it’s not a big focus for me. I have a lot of things to worry about; my son’s education, balancing work with parenthood, making it as a writer and so on. These are all issues that affect my daily life, so why should I stress about something that is rarely a hindrance?
Today almost every book featuring a Black protagonist that is marketed to the mass population deals with the “Black experience” (read slavery, racism and the fight against unfair stereotypes). But if the book is just about an African- American dealing with experiences outside of the race issue then it is only marketed to an African American readership. That’s why I’m so thrilled about Sophie Katz, my protagonist for Sex, Murder And A Double Latte. Most of the marketing material Red Dress Ink has put out regarding Sex, Murder And A Double Latte doesn’t even mention Sophie’s race. Nor was it brought up in the review in Cosmopolitan magazine or in the Romantic Times review. From the feedback I’ve been getting most readers don’t think of Sophie as being Black or biracial. They just think of her as being Sophie.
That’s pretty much what its like to be me. - Kyra
Posted by Alesia at 8:56 AM
May 4, 2005
More Free Books!
Ah, spring, and a young Literary Chicks Visitor's fancy turns to thoughts of... free books! This month, we're giving away four signed copies of Guest Chick Marianne Mancusi's rockin' debut novel A Connecticut Fashionista in King Arthur's Court! The winners will be announced in Marianne's farewell blog on Monday, May 30th! To enter, just send an e-mail with your NAME and ADDRESS to giveaway@literarychicks.com and you'll be entered to win! Then don't forget to check back on Monday, May 30th to see if you've won!
Now for the fun stuff! The Rules.
1. One entry per person. Which means, one entry per person. Pretty much, just one entry per person. I know it's complicated, but... yeah. One entry.
Per person.
2. Relatives of any Literary Chick, guest or otherwise, are not eligible. Unless you send me money on the sly.
No. I'm kidding. You're not eligible. Really.
3. If you're under 18, get a parent's permission. Please. There's sex and alcohol and board games in all our books, and we like America's youth to learn about that stuff on the bus from their misinformed friends, the way God intended.
Okay. Kidding again. We don't write about board games.
4. All entries received between today and Saturday, May 28th at midnight the sender's time will be eligible. Is that confusing? Okay. Let's say, it's Saturday, May 28th at 11:59pm your time. SEND THE E-MAIL! NOW! IN A MINUTE IT'LL BE TOO LATE!
Clearer?
4. Method for choosing the winner: All entrants names will be taped to individual cannon balls and shot out of a large cannon towards a bullseye in a field some fifty feet away. The four entries closest to the bullseye win the books.
Or, you know, some method equally as random.
5. Winners will be notified via e-mail within 7 days of announcement, but you know, we thought it'd be cool to be all, "Hey, Congratulations YOU!" on the site. It ain't fifteen minutes of fame, but it's all we got.
On a more serious, but still important note, none of your personal information will be saved after this contest is over. All original e-mails will be deleted, and even though we'll be randomly shooting your very personal information from a cannon, we figure if the cannon ball lands on someone... well... their biggest concern won't be stealing your identity. So, everybody plays, everybody wins!
Except the guy who gets hit by the cannon ball. But we'll take all necessary safety precautions, I promise you.
Also, none of your information will be used for future mailing lists for the Literary Chicks, either. Once this thing is over, we'll be like, "Who are you?" Seriously. But not in a mean, clique-y way.
Good luck!
Posted by Lani at 8:50 AM
May 3, 2005
My New Love
From Marianne, May's Guest Literary Chick!
The fluttery feeling in my stomach. The weakness in my knees. Can’t eat. Can’t sleep. When my eyes fall upon him, I’m filled with awe at his beauty.
You might think I’m talking about a new boyfriend, but really I’m thinking of my book.
I’m Marianne Mancusi. Guest Literary Chick of the month. As of today, my first book, “A Connecticut Fashionista in King Arthur’s Court” officially hits store shelves. And did you know having a new book is a lot like having a new boyfriend?
First, just like with a new guy, you think about your new book constantly—and it makes you feel kind of funny inside. You like what your book looks like on the outside, but know it’s what’s on the inside that counts. You bore your friends with constant talk about your book—name dropping it somehow into every conversation.
You Google your book on the Internet to see where it’s been and what people are saying about it. When someone says something disparaging, you get mad and you defend your book. You want to brag about your book, but realize others might be jealous, because they want a book of their own. When your book is up for an award, you attend the awards dinner to support your book. You introduce your book to all your friends and family. You take your book home to mother, who might not like the language your book uses.
When you get your author copies you may even sleep with your book. Thankfully, however, there’s no morning after awkwardness. And your book doesn’t expect you to cook it any breakfast.
After you’ve had your book for a while, you may start to get jaded about your book. It’s not as cool as it once was. You can do better next time. So you dump your once-treasured book and you start seeing a new book. You never do find your soul mate book.
The only difference between a new book and a new boyfriend? Your husband doesn’t mind you bringing the new book to bed!
Marianne
Posted by at 8:14 AM
May 2, 2005
Holy Convention, Batman!!
Alesia, jet-lagged from St. Louis and dancing till 3 a.m.
Popping in on a Monday so we can give our lovely guest chick time to recuperate from the conference to let you know I’m just home from the RT convention (midnight last night), and we had a terrific time!! I met with my new publicists (stay tuned for details and the unveiling of their Simply Fabulous new website!!) and a special industry powerhouse who may soon be joining the team! Talk about good news!!!
Conventions are terrific for the opportunity to talk to readers and find out what they’re thinking. And drinking. Lots of drinking going on, in fact. You’ll be pleased to know that I did NOT in fact dance on the tables on Saturday night (Sunday morning?) because the lovely and rational Michelle Cunnah stopped me. (Next time, clearly, I need to feed her the Shiraz faster . . .)
I went to my very first Mr. Romance competition . . .
And it was totally entertaining!!! The funniest part was when the narrator told us about each contestant’s “perfect date.” Most of them included “and then I would cook a three-course meal for her,” and I said it would be hilarious to include a shot of the guy’s kitchen up on the screen – preferably an open-fridge shot showing nothing but a six-pack of beer and some Cheetos! But, speaking of six-packs, these are a bunch of men who spend entirely too much time in the gym, and there’s something wickedly fun about watching them parade! Especially after all the years of women parading around in bikinis in beauty pageants. Sort of a turn-about is fair play thing . . .
In other news, my first review for NICE GIRLS FINISH FIRST rolled in, and it’s great!! I’ll post a link once it’s up on my website, but I particularly liked this quote: “Readers can not help but be drawn into the two women's struggles, and cheer them on. This is a writer who will make you smile whenever you see that she has a new book released.” Making readers smile – what could be cooler than that??
Hugs,
Alesia, who must unpack
Posted by Alesia at 9:34 AM
