« June 2005 | Main | August 2005 »

July 31, 2005

Lani's A Winner!!

It's absolutely true!

The Literary Chicks are completely thrilled to bits to announce that our Lovely Lani won a RITA for best first book with Time Off For Good Behavior last night!

The RITA is awarded by The Romance Writers of America, and is kind of like the Oscars of the Romance writing world! So it's a BIG DEAL. HUGE.

CONGRATULATIONS LANI !!!!!!!!!! WAHOOO!!!!!!

Posted by Michelle at 12:50 PM | Comments (9)

July 30, 2005

Reno Report: Day Four

Oh My God, My A** Is So Kicked, an essay in mostly words because I was too lazy to take pictures yesterday, by Lani Diane Rich

Alesia and Lani at the RITA/GH Finalist's reception.

I've learned something about myself this week. Something important. Something revelatory. Something I dearly hope I'll never, ever forget.

I am not 21 anymore.

A couple of nights of staying out until the wee morning hours, drinking and smoking as though there was no tomorrow, has taught me this important lession. Because, as it turns out, there is a tomorrow, and tomorrow does not like me. However, I did try to be good last night. After the reception and the NAL/Berkley party and the Warner dinner and Karen Rose's birthday (lovely woman, writes amazing but really dark stuff you just can't imagine comes from such a gentle-hearted sweetie) I finally hit the pillows at a reasonable hour. And now, waking up this morning, aside from the fact that my throat is just plain ol' sore from all the chit-chat, I'm feeling okay.

So, tonight are the RITAs and I'm really excited. I gotta tell you, the nomination is the thing. You walk around all week, everyone sees your ribbons and screams and jumps up and down and congratulates you and says incredible things like, "I'm so honored to meet you," (which I can say with strong conviction no one has ever said to me before) and it's just incredible. Tonight is going to be fun, and I'm gonna have a great time getting glammed up, but no matter what happens with the award, the ride has been incredible. And I think it's very cool that there's a 1 in 5 chance that a Literary Chick will have very heavy luggage on the way home. I like that.

All right. Gotta run. Will try very hard to get more pictures today, and I hope whoever you are, where ever you are, that you're having a great day.

And you know what? I'm so honored to meet you.

(Doesn't that feel great to hear?)

Posted by Lani at 11:27 AM | Comments (2)

July 29, 2005

Reno Day 4

DSC00498.JPG

Must run again - but here is the lovely Ruth Kaufman posing with NEXT books!! More to come . . .

Posted by Alesia at 5:39 PM | Comments (0)

Reno Report: Day Three (and a little of Day Four)

What Happens in Reno, Stays in Reno... a pictorial essay, by Lani Diane Rich

RITA nominee and trouble maker Sandy Blair getting a talkin' to from Stoney, the Casino Cop...

I think this picture pretty much speaks for itself. Don't you?


Somebody bet Vic Stark that she couldn't get Chris Keesler to pose in the sombrero. Somebody lost them some money.


My roomie, the lovely and talented and freshly PUBLISHED Ms. Barbara Ferrer, and Stoney the Casino Cop. Don't worry. The bail wasn't too high.


FF&P Chapter VP Julie Mensch and Chapter President Vic Stark doin' it New Orleans style. Don't ask what they did to get those beads, because baby, what happens in Reno, stays in Reno.

Posted by Lani at 12:00 PM | Comments (2)

July 28, 2005

Pics?? Maybe??? Hopefully???

DSC00493.JPG

Here I am at the signing, if I figured this camera thing out!! More pics to come when camera batteries recharge!
More pics to come of classic car museum reception tonight . . .
also check here for more news of conference fun!
Alesia

Posted by Alesia at 8:23 PM | Comments (0)

Reno Day 3 - it's OFFICIAL!!

From Alesia, contemplating blackjack

The lovely and talented Barbara Ferrer is now officially a pubbed author!! Two-book deal with MTV books/Simon & Schuster! We at the Literary Chicks are SO happy for her and her well-deserved success!! And I am so happy that I was standing next to her in the casino when she got THE CALL!! (Fingertip-shaped bruises on my arm to prove it . . .)

I have pics too but am too computer challenged to know how to load them, so here is a little update till I get there:

The chick lit party was FANTASTIC!!! I have never seen so many great shoes in one room in my LIFE!! What a fun time and it was great to see everyone.

This morning, I had to get up ridiculously early to do a workshop at 8:30 am with my brilliant agent and the lovely Beth Kendrick and her editor. We had a packed house - standing room only!! Marianne Mancusi was kind enough to wake up early and reschedule her meeting with her editor to moderate for us. Gave away tons of the new mass market edition of AMERICAN IDLE - it's so CUTE!!

Many meetings and breakfasts and lunches and this afternoon a fun reception at the national classic car museum. I'll be sure to take pics there! Then a reporter is taking Lani and me and the other Best First Book Rita finalists to the roulette wheel to spin on our ISBN numbers! She's going to write a column about us and I'm so LAME I'm sure this will be my only gambling. LOLOL!!

Trust me, the way this week is going, I feel like I'm already a winner. :)
hugs,
Alesia

Posted by Alesia at 6:23 PM | Comments (0)

Reno Report: Day Two

From Lani, giving you news you can use...

Hello, everybody! Reno has been a blast so far! I got to have lunch with our own faboo Alesia and the gorgeous Barbara Ferrer, who is also my roommate, when I first got here. As always, Alesia was wonderful, funny and lovely, and I haven't seen nearly enough of her at the conference, as you will tell by the pictures I'm posting today. But I will remedy that, I swear!

I've gotten a chance to meet up with a lot of old friends and make some new ones, so all is great. I'm a little too hungover (oh, come on, don't feign that surprise, we both know better) so I'm just going to let the pictures speak for themselves. And I will get one of Alesia up here very soon. And to Michelle - we miss you, baby!

This is what happens when you tell your girlfriends at the bar about the family tradition of subtly flipping the bird in pictures. Granted, they could work a little bit on the subtle, but God bless their hearts, I think this is a great start!

Me and the lovely and gracious Jennifer Crusie. We posed for this picture about five times, trying to coordinate our smiles with the flash, and some came out better than this one, but this is my favorite. Although you miss the tiara Ms. Jenny was wearing, you get the sense of what happens when writers start tipping 'em back. All good stuff.

Here I am, prepared to sign books at the Literacy Signing. Over 500 authors were there signing, and it was a blast. I sat between Patricia Rice and Christine Ridgway, both of whom were lovely sign-mates. And I was only two seats down from the adorable Eileen Rendahl! Bonus!

One of my favorite people on the planet, Risha Parker, came by to see me and I was so happy that I forced her wonderful husband to take our picture together. Isn't she adorable?

After the signing, at the Cherry party. This is the fabulous Robin La Fevers, Jennifer Stevenson, and me hanging and drinking and making merry. How cute are they? I have to say, I have the coolest friends anywhere.

Okay - more to come later. Thanks for stopping in!

Posted by Lani at 12:15 PM | Comments (4)

Falconry: The Sequel

From Michelle, Partying in Rotterdam...

Yes, partying I am, it's absolutely true! I am celebrating with a nice glass or two of Shiraz because a friend of mine heard about her first book deal at the RWA conference in Reno, which is fantastic, because she is a sterling gal and also a wonderful writer...Plus, my good mood and Shiraz might just have a little bit to do with the fact that Confessions of a Serial Dater came out this week...Yay!

But what about the falconry, I hear you cry? Is Michelle really going to discuss birds of prey? What do falcons have to do with the price of bread?

LOL, absolutely nothing. But Falconry:The Sequel has become synonymous in my household for getting stuck doing something you don't want to do but you're doing it anyway because either (a) you feel sorry for someone, or (b) you are a captive audience and cannot escape. Here's why...

In the Belgian Ardennes we visited a lot of old, crumbling castles, because apart from the fact they have a lot of them there, we love old, crumbling castles. And at every crumbling castle we visited, there seemed to be a display featuring birds of prey. Now, that's all very interesting the first or second time you see it, but by the fifteenth billion falconry display, you kind of feel like you've really done the whole birds of prey thing.

So when we visited yet another old, crumbling castle, we decided to give the falconry display (free, and given in Dutch and French) followed by optional, free guided tour (also in Dutch and French) a miss, and just "experience" the castle by ourselves. We had the (also free) little numbered diagram and description of the castle (also in Dutch and French, but that's okay because between us Oh Patient One and I can work out the meaning).

All was going well until the ticket lady, worried by our gentle ambling around the forecourt of the castle, came out and indicated in a very anxious tone of voice that if we didn't hightale it to the top of the castle at once we were going to miss the falconry display! Hooray, thought Oh Patient One and I. But the ticket lady looked very worried. She was so worried that we got worried - what if nobody else was going to the free falconry display? It might scar the poor falcon handler for life!

So, we climbed up the castle in 32 degree heat...

...And when we got to the top, there were actually quite a few other people all seated in a circle. Mebbe we could slink off before anyone noticed us...but no! The falcon handler gesticulated to us where to sit (i.e. right where he could keep an eye on us in case we tried to escape) so what could we do?

So, half an hour later in the baking sun, after having watched (a) various falcons fly from one handler to another lured by the temptation of bits of meat, and (b) various owls fly from one handler to another lured by the temptation of bits of meat, and (c) lots of other types of birds of prey do exactly the same thing, we were birds-of-preyed out! But we escaped the guided tour...

So, a little while later while Oh Patient One and I were in a bar, we got chatting to some people, as you do, because we are friendly, and when one of them (bear in mind I had known her for all of five minutes) discovered that I was a writer she immediately cornered me and did a FalconryTheSequelled number on me. Here's how it went...

New Acquaintance (NA): "So, you're a writer! What do you write? I'm a writer too, but not yet published, but my book's fabulous. Can I send it to you?"

Me (a bit shocked by her directness): "Um, sorry, my lawyer has told me that I shouldn't read unpublished manuscripts because it could have legal ramifications for me in the future. You know, I could get sued..."

NA: "Oh. But if I give you a copy of my book - and by the way it's a murder mystery with aliens and ghosts and flying pigs, can you send it to your editor?"

Me (bemused): "Um, sorry - my editor doesn't do murder mysteries with aliens and ghosts and flying pigs, and stuff. It would give you a much better shot at publication if you could target the editors who do do your kind of book. You should look at other authors who write the same genre as you and see who is publishing their books."

NA: "Oh. Well, what kind of books do you write, again? Can you give me one of your books?"

Me (by now a little fed up because I think she's being rather rude): "Um, romantic comedies. Sorry, I don't have any with me at the moment."

NA: "That's okay. Let me give you my address and you can send me one, but I don't really like romantic comedies. Do you have a pen and paper?"

Me (feeling more fed up): "Actually, I don't have any authorly copies left of my books - I have to buy any extras I need, myself, so sorry - I can't do that."

NA: "Oh. Well. My murder mystery with aliens and ghosts and flying pigs is fantastic. It's all about..."

An hour later I'm still getting a blow-by-blow account of where she got her inspiration for the book, and different episodes that happen in the book that happened to her in real life, and why her boyfriend is a rat (including extremely personal details) and why her boss is a rat, and why her family doesn't understand her, and I am feeling really fed up because this woman is talking AT me rather than WITH me and she's about to tell me about her awful childhood and my ears are beginning to bleed...

In desperation I excuse myself to go to the bathroom and...she follows me into the bathroom, and seems to be coming INTO THE CUBICLE WITH ME until I ask her to wait outside.

So. FalconryTheSequelled I completely was.

Michelle :-)

Posted by Michelle at 9:16 AM | Comments (3)

July 27, 2005

Reno Rocks!!

Lani has a new ADORABLE hairdo - and she's a redhead!!! Totally cute and trendy!! Lost my usual 10 bucks in the slot machines so gambling need for the week fulfilled. :) Two people I know got book offers DURING THE DAY YESTERDAY!!! I ADORE conferences.
Off for big day of meetings, lunching, booksigning, dinner, and the totally fun chick lit party. Will report all the dish soon.

Posted by Alesia at 11:41 AM | Comments (0)

July 26, 2005

And The Winners Are...

Hi, everyone! It's Lani, and I'm here to say - agh! Totally my fault that Lauren didn't have the winner names; I just blanked. But, lo and behold, we have picked our winners for the four signed copies of A CHANGE OF FACE, and they are the following!

Sue Ahn
Kim Westgaard
Maggie Thaden
Cheryl Strange

Congratulations, Winners! And more from Reno when I recover from the flight!

Posted by Lani at 6:15 PM | Comments (2)

July 25, 2005

The 10 Greatest/Coolest Things that Have Happened to Me as a Writer...

From Lauren, July's Guest Literary Chick!

... a column – finally! – which will be all about ME! ME! ME!

In the past three weeks, I’ve written columns here on how a book is like a shoe, the importance of reaching across the aisle to other writers, and a compilation of authors to create the perfect me. It seems to me that, all too often, we writers get focused on the negative things about the industry – Where are the reviews? Is anyone doing any promotion for me? When will my mother finally stop referring to this as my “little writing career”? – so I decided I’d use this last column for Literary Chicks to focus on all the wonderful things that have happened to me since becoming a published author.

Here goes:

1. My daughter Jackie – I always say I’m the only person in the world who ever went into a bathroom, peed on a wand, and came out with two miracles: a novel and a daughter. This is the truth as I see it, since it was my pregnancy with her that gave me the idea for the book that finally got me in the game, The Thin Pink Line, about an insane woman who fakes an entire pregnancy. And since that day Jackie has been with me every step of the way: she was there with me when I first saw the image of my book jacket on the computer screen, when the ARC’s first arrived at the door (“Mommy’s book! Mommy’s book!”), at my first local signing. You name it, every step of the way Jackie’s been with me and none of this would mean half so much without her.

2. My review in January Magazine – “It’s what Jane Austen might have written if she were working today.” Really, if no one ever says a nice thing about my work again, I could die on that review, which leads me to…

3. Amazon reviews – I used to get bothered by these, since about half of my reviews are one-stars, the other half being five-stars. But then I read an article saying that it’s polarizing books like mine that tend to sell. So I try to tell myself it’s a good thing whenever someone there compares my writing to shit, even though, I must confess, I’m more partial to the review that compares me to Swift.

4. The film option – The same day there was that blackout on the East Coast running from Canada all the way down here, there was a heat wave. I had also just learned that I had chicken pox, a pretty miserable thing at age 41. But also on that day, before the power went out, I received an email from my then agent saying The Thin Pink Line had been optioned. I do know enough about our business to know that it’s unlikely any film will ever be made, but I’ll go on dreaming sweet dreams of being asked to the Oscars or Emmys so long as that option’s still out there.

5. My niece deciding I’m not a total loser after all – My brother has always been a security-oriented person, prone to high-powered jobs, so when I left a day job of 11 years that came with a fairly good salary plus four weeks vacation a year plus full medical in order to take a chance on myself as a writer, he was not impressed, a lack of impression that seemed to trickle through his family. It’s not that anyone ever actually said anything, but you could tell. Then came the holiday season, following the publication of my first book, when my niece as part of a charitable class project was looking for donations to a fund where they buy animals for poor families in South America, Heifer International is what I believe it’s called. Their goal was to get at least a cow and I suspect most people had given her $2 or $5 or $10 in donations, because she was mightily surprised when I passed a crisp hundred-dollar bill across the table to her. She claims that, due to my example, her class was able to buy their South American family an entire menagerie and she’s never looked at me with anything but respect since, plus now she says she wants to be a writer too. Little does she realize that one $100 bill does not make me John Grisham.

6. Fan mail – Unlike Amazon reviews, which can be such a dual-edged sword, my experience with fan mail, except for that one pervy person who wanted a personal picture so he could look at my lovely face (his words, not mine), has been wholly positive. I mean, who doesn’t want to receive letters saying someone likes your work or, better yet, gets it? One of my favorites was from a woman who said she was laughing so hard on the subway, people kept staring at her and the book jacket to see what was so funny; personally, if I had my own way, never mind getting my publisher to send me on tour, I’d like them to sponsor her on a coast-to-coast tour because obviously she can do a better job of selling me than I can do of selling myself. But by far my favorite letter to date was from a woman who claimed to love the first book so much, she rushed out to buy the second, which she couldn’t put down and wound up finishing at her family’s Passover Seder while everyone else was still eating. I hate to think I’ve seduced a woman into a life of sin, but I must say that for a writer, compliments just don’t come any higher.

7. Fergie reading my book – OK, I don’t know for a fact that Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York, did in fact read my book. But I do know that my editor, upon hearing she was going to meet Fergie, grabbed three books to give her as gifts and one of those was mine. Who knows? She probably threw it in the trash rather than adding to her weight before passing through Customs at the airport, but it is fun to dream of her reading my book and, hopefully, laughing.

8. Meeting other authors – It’s a fairly simple pleasure, but meeting other authors and getting to say “I’m one of you,” as opposed to “I wish I were one of you,” is mighty nice.

9. Thanksgiving dinners – I survived eight increasingly depressing Thanksgiving dinners between the time I left my day job to take a chance on myself as a writer and the day I was offered my first book contract. The first few years, people were still optimistic, but as time wore on, they simply stopped asking. My not selling anything major was the elephant in the room no one wanted to talk about out loud. So it’s very nice nowadays, as the turkey and stuffing gets passed around for the third time, to be asked things like, “How’re the books doing?” “When’s the next book coming out?” What’s it about?” “Have you met John Grisham yet?”

10. Getting to write more books – Following A Little Change of Face, I have two more books due out from RDI, How Nancy Drew Saved My Life (July 2006) and Chick-Lit: A Love Story (July 2007). I consider myself one of life’s fortunate people that I’m allowed to do what I love for a living, at least for now.

11. Being invited to guestblog on Literary Chicks – Thank you so much, Lani, Michelle and Alesia, for this grand opportunity!

Speaking of which, here are the four winners of signed copies of A Little Change of Face! Congrats!

[enter names here]

Lauren Baratz-Logsted is the author of The Thin Pink Line and Crossing the Line. Her third novel, A Little Change of Face, will be published in July 2005. Her essay, “If Jane Austen Were Writing Today,” is collected in Flirting with Pride and Prejudice: Fresh Perspectives on the Original Chick-Lit Masterpiece, edited by Jennifer Crusie and due out from Benbella Books on September 1.

Posted by at 6:00 AM | Comments (0)

July 22, 2005

Countdown to Reno!

From Alesia, frantically packing


Next week is a huge event in the life of romance/women’s fiction/chick lit writers – the annual conference of Romance Writers of America. It’s in Reno, Nevada, this year, and 2 out of 3 chicks will attend. (We are totally bummed that Michelle won’t make it across the pond this year, but look forward to seeing her at the New Jersey Romance Writers conference in October!)

For 5 days, we’re going to give and attend workshops, learn more about craft and the industry, share information and network, be wined and dined by our agents and publishers, and just generally have a fantastic time. Lani and I are both enormously honored that our books TIME OFF FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR and AMERICAN IDLE are both finalists for two Rita awards – the Oscar-Emmy-Golden Globe of the romance/women’s fiction writing community. Plus Ritas = more parties! Receptions! Award ceremonies with long gowns! A chance to eat dinner with people who don’t need their food cut or their faces wiped! (At least not by us)

So we may be a little intermittent in this space next week, but be patient with us. It’s our one week a year to get out of our jammies and dress up like grownups – we’re going to have a ball!

Happy weekend!

Hugs,
Alesia
p.s. Since the time change means I’ll probably be waking up at 5 a.m., I’ll try to blog about the conference a bit – and also try REALLY REALLY HARD not to stress out about the fact that my book is due the same day the movers show up at my house – in TWENTY-FOUR DAYS!!

Posted by Alesia at 10:16 PM | Comments (0)

July 20, 2005

Apparently, I'm a Winter...

From Lani, going for style...

I've developed a slight obsession recently.

I've become addicted to another television show.

This one has drama, and tension, the occasional catfight, and loads of styling tips.

Yep, you guessed it...

... it's What Not To Wear.

When this show first came on the air a few years back, I hated it. I saw one episode with Wayne Scott Lukas (of the 80s glam-rock hair) and Stacy London and they were so mean to the poor victim that I just hated them and the show and I vowed never to watch it again.

But then it came time to go shopping for another writing conference, and I had something of a breakdown. See, here's the thing with me. I have no sense of style. You know how some people are color blind? That's me, only with style. I don't know what looks good on me. I don't know what looks bad. I pull it off the rack, if it fits, I buy it. My wardrobe is basically t-shirts, jeans and lounge pants. A few years back, right before my first writing conference, I got a manicure and the girl asked me what I was wearing and I told her I'd gotten a beige outfit and she dropped all her acoutrements and stood up, screaming, "BEIGE!! HOW CAN YOU WEAR BEIGE!?!?! YOU'RE A WINTER!"

Okay. I'm exaggerating. Slightly. But as God is my witness, everything between the quotation marks is accurate.

So I'm sitting there thinking, "I'm a winter? What the hell does that mean?" To this day, I'm still not sure, but so as to avoid another episode of HOW CAN YOU WEAR BEIGE!?!?!, I thought I'd see what the experts had to say. So, I watched an episode of WNTW.

80s Glam Rock was gone, which was good, because who could possibly take fashion advice from a guy who looked like Sebastian Bach's bastard cousin? Stacy was still catty as hell, but now... I kinda liked it. And the new guy, Clinton Kelly, is like the sixth Queer Eye. He's friggin' adorable. So... I watched.

And you know? The show's not bad. The thing I like the most about it is that they find things that work for every body type, so it's not like one of those style shows where it only applies to you if you're already drop-dead gorgeous. They take a lot of style-phobic schlubs like me and turn 'em into hot mamas.

So... I took their advice.

And... I think I look okay in my conference outfits. But we'll see. Because, you know, I'm still pretty much styleblind. Far as I can tell, my condition is managed, not cured.

On a funny (read: gut-wrenchingly sad) note, the other day I got my hair cut, and after my darling Sweetness (6) saw me with my new hair, she proceeded to go to the bathroom, locate a pair of scissors (HOW???? HOW???? HOW HIGH DO I HAVE TO PUT THEM IN THE MEDICINE CABINET??? PERHAPS I SHOULD START DUCT-TAPING TO THE FREAKIN’ CEILING?) and chop off her gorgeous, flaxen locks for which I would KILL and which she definitely did not get from my genetic train. She walked out, half her hair on her head and half on the floor, and said, "Now I'm pretty like Mommy."

Or some such sweetness. I can't recall, really, because I was saying, "What... what.... what.... WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR GORGEOUS HAIR???"

Once I got over the initial shock, though, I realized it was up to me to finish the cut and lets just say…

… it’s a good thing I never wanted to be a beautician because I suck. Now my gorgeous little girl has boy hair and not just any boy hair no UNEVEN CLUMPY boy hair which I’m going to have to mangle further to try and even up later.

But, bright side, I was wearing one of my new, cute outfits while I cut her hair. Stacy and Clinton would have been proud.

Posted by Lani at 6:00 AM | Comments (3)

July 19, 2005

Vacation, Yay!!

From Michelle, Recovering in Rotterdam...

What happened to that third literary chick? I hear you all cry. Where did she disappear to? Did Scotty beam her up? Did she click her heels together three times and get whisked to Kansas via tornado? Was she abducted by green-skinned, red-eyed aliens? Or mebbe, sniffle, sniffle, nobody actually noticed that I wasn't here...

Well, I went on vacation to the lovely Ardennes region in Belgium, which features picture-postcard fairytale countryside, castles sitting atop craggy outlooks, gently rolling rivers, gourmet food, very narrow windy roads, three spoken languages and...

A Cow Museum

Yes, you read that right. I actually visited a cow museum. See, in this region they have a famous cow breed called the BBB - the Bleu Blanc Belge (Blue White Belgian). It's kinda white, really, but if you squint a bit (okay, a lot) you can see the blue tinge. But it's famous because apparently it's the healthiest beef in the entire world and possibly the universe. It is 80% lean meat, 15% bone and only 5% fat.

Also, because of the size of the newborn calves (huge), it is too dangerous for the cows to give birth naturally and they have to have caesarians. An average cow will have 4 or 5 caesarians in her life.

Now, aren't you all glad that I visited the museum and shared that with you, LOL?

A Crayfish Museum

Yes, they also had a crayfish museum. Sadly, I had to give that undoubtedly fascinating experience a miss...but the Ardennes was in the grip of a crayfish festival, so I did actually eat some and felt that I "experienced" the crayfish.

Hot Sunshine

Yes, we had a heatwave. It was a bit of a shock because it was chilly when we drove off from Rotterdam, and the Ardennes is only two hours away. So one of the first things I did (being a pale, freckled kind of gal) was to head into a store while we were out and about and purchased some high factor sunscreen. It had pictures of kids on the front, and was factor 5 gazillion billion, so it seemed perfect for me.

So when I exited the store, I immediately squirted some into my hand and began to rub it into my face.

Oh Patient One burst into gales of laughter. And then he snorted, and fell on the floor gripping his stomach.

See, to make this particular sunscreen attractive to children the manufacturer had added a quirk--it was colored bright blue, and so, by now, was my face...

Three Spoken Languages

In the Ardennes in some parts they speak both French and Dutch (they call it Flemmish but it's Dutch), and in other parts they speak Dutch and German, and sometimes French, Dutch AND German.

Can you imagine the unintentional confusion I managed to cause speaking all three languages in the same sentence (well, I speak all three languages a bit, but if you mix 'em together, that's one language fluently!)? Add to the mix a bit of English to join the phrases together, and what you get is...totally perplexed Belgians, thorougly convinced that I am some kind of mad, crazy Englishwoman! Well, at least I tried...and at least I didn't add my smattering of Italian to the mix!

The Disaster

Yes, I know you all know me so well by now that you expect there to be at least one itty bitty disaster. Well, it happened before we actually left for the Ardennes...

Teenager #2, rather than being dragged off for a culturally englightening experience by me and Oh Patient One, decided that he'd rather spend the summer hanging with his cousins in the UK. So a few days before we left Rotterdam I took him to Schiphol airport in Amsterdam to catch a flight to the north of England.

There was a massive thunderstorm. But our cab turned up on time and we made it to Rotterdam's Central Station. We purchased our tickets, we acquired coffee (for me) and cola light (diet coke) for Teenager #2, and went to wait on the platform for the train...and then twenty mintues later, and no sign of the train, it was announced that due to lightning striking some vitally important piece of equipment, or something, there were ABSOLUTELY NO TRAINS between Rotterdam and Schiphol.

So you know what that meant, don't you? Sigh. Yes. Another $150 cab ride to the airport. I just didn't beeleeve it...

Michelle :-)

PS. Yes, I did try BBB beef and it was absolutely delicious!

Posted by Michelle at 11:08 AM | Comments (2)

July 18, 2005

Surrender, Lauren; or Envy: A Composite of Other Chick-Lit Writers to Create the Perfect Me

From Lauren, July's Guest Literary Chick!

OK, I do realize that’s not the greatest title I’ve ever come up with. But I couldn’t resist bastardizing one of my favorite book titles ever – Surrender, Dorothy, by Meg Wolitzer – for my nefarious purposes here and the second part was added, well, in the hopes of creating some semblance of titular accuracy.

It seems to me that every writer I’ve ever talked to is envious/jealous of another writer or group of writers over one thing or another. Maybe it’s greater review attention or a bigger advance, but everyone always looks over the fence to find someone else’s lawn looking greener. I’ve said, often, that even J.K. Rowling, wherever she is, must surely gnash her teeth about something. I mean, how dare they not do an initial print run of 50,000,000 copies of Harry Potter MCII???

So I decided that, for my own pleasure, I’d compile a list of authors who, when put together in a composite based on individual features of theirs that I wish I had, would create the perfect me. Come along for the ride with me here then, folks, and help me dream a little dream of me…

1. Michelle Cunnah – I want her hair. I know that’s a shallow place to start, but Ms. Cunnah has the hair I want. It’s perky, it’s smart-looking, it’s the kind of hair that makes people think, “I want to spend time with that woman!”

2. Julie Kenner – I want her title. I’ve always been a sucker for witty titles, witness my love of Surrender, Dorothy above. If I am jealous of any title anyone’s come up with in the last year, it’s The Givenchy Code. It’s one of those perfect titles, like The Devil Wears Prada before it, where you can picture copies of the book flying out of the store just on that alone. Of course, I could never have written this book – I know nothing about fashion and still less about codes – but I still wish I’d thought of that title first.

3. Chris Manby – I want the cover of her book, Seven Sunny Days. I love the colors and those two glasses – is that a Cosmo and a Pina Colada? – look like they’re having so much fun in the sand, it looks like they’re dancing. Even though I’m not a beach-vacation kind of gal, and even though I’m not a Cosmo/Pina girl, every time I see those two glasses on the cover, I want to go there and dance with them. Like the saying goes, “Hey, bartender, let me have one of whatever they’re having!”

4. Helen Fielding – I want her money. It’s that simple. How much did Bridget Jones net between books and movies? Never mind the ruby slippers, Dorothy, I want that money.

5. Heather Cochran, Deborah Blumenthal, Caren Lissner – I want their reviews. To be really specific, I want their People magazine reviews. All three ladies are RDI authors whose books – Mean Season, Fat Chance, Starting from Square Two, respectively – were reviewed in People magazine. RDI is also my publisher and while there may be other RDI authors’ books that have been reviewed by People, these are the ones I’ve noticed. I really haven’t wasted – much – time in my career worrying about who reviews me and who doesn’t, but the lack of a People review really rankles. This is because, back when my first book, The Thin Pink Line, came out in 2003, I came so close to a People review that I was actually sent to get new pictures taken for the magazine. Then the review never ran…and it never ran…and it never ran. I have a pet theory about this. In May, before my book came out, Ann Coulter had a new book hit the shelves, Treason, that People failed to review in a timely fashion, given the notoriety of the author. I think they bumped my book for Ann’s. So maybe I’m not bothered by Heather, Deb and Caren after all; maybe I’m just bothered by Ann.

6. Jennifer Coburn – I want one of her blurbs from Reinventing Mona. I want the blurb that says, “By turns funny and poignant, combining elements of screwball comedy with a quest to get over the past and be loved in the present, Reinventing Mona is sure to please the readers who enjoyed The Wife of Riley.” (Btw, The Wife of Riley is another favorite book title of mine, along with Surrender, Dorothy and The Givenchy Code.) OK, admission time: I wrote that blurb on Reinventing Mona. I guess maybe now I’m just wishing that someone would say something like that about me.

7. Helen Fielding – I want her name. It’s just about the most perfect name for a writer ever, a perfect balance between accessible/commercial and literary/classic. In fact, it may just be the most perfect writer name since Jane Austen. Plus, unlike my name, no one is ever confused about how to spell it or pronounce it or where to shelve it.

8. Helen Fielding – I want her ratio of books-into-movies. Motivation for this? See #4, above. Are you sensing a trend here? Is it starting to seem as though maybe I want to be Helen Fielding? Nah. I just want her money and her perfect name and her ratio of books-into-movies. That’s all. Given the Dear, Santa letters of the Trump kids, I doubt I’m asking for much in the greater scheme of things.

9. Melissa Senate – I want her history. While my first book, The Thin Pink Line, will always stand as the first hardcover RDI ever published, Melissa’s book, See Jane Date, was the first book they ever published, period. I can’t imagine a greater honor than that. (OK, maybe I can, but it’s still a pretty great honor.) It’s like being Helen of Troy or something. Melissa’s is the book that launched a thousand chicks.

10. Sarah Mlynowski – I want her smile. Have you ever seen pics of Sarah on her book jackets? Honestly, that may be the greatest smile in all of publishing. If I were still a reviewer and I saw that smile looking back at me, I’d have to be channeling the soul of Hannibal Lecter in order to say anything mean about her work. It would be like kicking Pooh and Piglet and Roo all at once. Plus, Sarah writes good books and she’s a really nice person. There’s that too.

11. Nick Hornby (my favorite Honorary Chick) – I want to have written About a Boy. It’s pretty much well the most perfect book of its kind ever written, a social satire about an often-dislikable character who does a nefarious thing and is redeemed in the end. I consider Nick to be my progenitor, for what it’s worth, more than any other author working today.

That’s really it, then! Just take the 11 authors above – OK, only 9, since I do mention poor Helen Fielding (an oxymoron if I ever heard one) three times – toss them all together in a big bag, shake and bake, and you’ll have the perfect me.

Oh, no, I’m not envious/jealous much.

Well, OK, maybe just a little.

Lauren Baratz-Logsted is the author of The Thin Pink Line and Crossing the Line. Her third novel, A Little Change of Face, will be published in July 2005. Her essay, “If Jane Austen Were Writing Today,” is collected in Flirting with Pride and Prejudice: Fresh Perspectives on the Original Chick-Lit Masterpiece, edited by Jennifer Crusie and due out from Benbella Books on September 1.

Posted by at 6:00 AM | Comments (2)

July 15, 2005

Willy Johnny Depp-a-Wonka

From Alesia, reeling


Okay, I didn’t expect much, but I have to admit I howled with laughter during the new incarnation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Like the original, you have to imagine that the entire experience is EXACTLY what ingesting a cocktail of some really bizarre drugs must feel like . . .

And if anybody could replace Gene Wilder, Johnny “I’m channeling my inner psycho” Depp is definitely the right choice.

I went with the hilarious Barbara Ferrer and our dozens (okay, four between us but felt like dozens) of kids. The kids laughed in entirely different places than we did, which is the mark of a great family movie, in my opinion.

So for a fun weekend Question of the Day, what was your favorite part of (either) movie? Mine was the disco dancing Oompa Loompas – my ribs still hurt from laughing.

And, in other news, how much does it ROCK that a single book will draw more people this weekend than any movie??? Hooray for publishing – hooray for Harry Potter!

Happy weekend!

Hugs,
Alesia

Posted by Alesia at 6:05 PM | Comments (0)

July 13, 2005

Once More, With Feeling...

From Lani, who can't resist a Buffy reference...

Well, here we are again. Sorry for the prolonged absence, but our webhost has assured us that when we come here and write an entire blog, we'll actually be able to post it, so yay us!

I was chatting with a good friend of mine the other day about pop culture references. It appears, and this is just a layman's diagnosis, that I watch way too much television. And movies, but most of my "Huh?" inducing references come from television.

As a for instance, a little while back, I was working on something with my editor and, at the end of the process in which I'd whipped something she was very happy with out in the matter of about fifteen minutes, I wrote, "Now who's your huckleberry?"***

And she wrote back, "Huh?"

And then I had to explain that in the movie Tombstone, there's a point where Doc Holliday (played by the alternately cute and creepy Val Kilmer) wins a poker game and says, "Now who's your huckleberry?" I don't know what it means, but it seemed cute, and Adam and I use those references all the time, so it seems like normal interaction for me.

So, anyway, my good friend gave me a "Huh?" on a reference in my current WIP, and I thought I'd throw it out to the Literary Chicks Court of Opinion to see if anyone gets it. Leave your opinion in the comments section.

I have a feeling I'll have to weed it out of the WIP. I may very well be the only person to get this reference. Anyway, here's the reference; let me know if it makes sense to you:

"Izzy, I assume you're home pretending to be sick and not answering the phone. Continue to do so, because when I get home tonight, you and I are gonna have a very special episode of Blossom, kid."

All right. Who gets it?

Anybody?

Bueller?

***Okay. After having checked out the link to Tombstone, I discovered why my editor didn't get it - because Doc Holliday never said that. He said, "I'm your huckleberry," and somehow, in my family, it got perverted into "Now who's your huckleberrry?" Well. That explains a lot.

I stand by the Blossom thing, though.

Posted by Lani at 8:17 AM | Comments (4)

July 12, 2005

I. Don’t. Care.

From Alesia, fresh from a bomb threat



I don’t care. I admit it. My name is Alesia Holliday, and I don’t care a lick about all this furor over which authors write what. Or the hot “taken seriously” debate.

Nope.

We are just home from our swimming lessons, which were cancelled due to an active bomb threat at the Navy Base here. Usually, you might think “prank.” After the tragedy in London, I’m not so sure. I know it scared me. We got to leave. My husband did not. I’m sitting by the phone, scanning e-mail.

And so I find that nearly every writer’s loop I’m on is debating something like the lack of respect some faction or other is giving them. Really, are we that desperate for external validation? Is the incestuous publishing world narrowed down to such a tiny focus that, no matter what’s going on in the world, all we can think about is this sort of imaginary distinction? Or our amazon ratings?

I. Don’t. Care.

Respect? It comes from within. The reader who told me that she just received a big box of books and read mine and another light and funny book first, because she was so despondent over some personal issues and they really helped her to laugh – that means more to me than any ridiculous affirmation of respect from somebody who doesn’t even like the kind of books I write anyway.

Priorities? Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to step outside of this tiny cone of obsession. As Anne Lamott said a friend told her about something totally unrelated: It’s just a bit of chicken.

If you want to read truly great and fun books (and probably the kind of books you like or you wouldn’t visit us here anyway!!) read any of Lani’s books. Read any of Michelle’s books. Read whatever kind of book you want!!! That’s why we have a zillion different ones to choose from!

In the grand scheme of things, it’s just a bit of chicken.

Hugs and prayers for those in London still suffering,

Alesia

Posted by Alesia at 11:02 AM | Comments (0)

July 11, 2005

Reaching Across The Aisle

From Lauren, July's Guest Literary Chick!

Earlier this year I entered an essay contest sponsored by, I don’t even remember now – maybe Mobil Oil Corporation? – to write an essay on what is the better path to success in business, competition or cooperation. I adopted the latter stance, citing as my model the second season of “The Apprentice.” Maybe that’s why I didn’t win? Regardless, I wrote about how the character of Jen had proved problematic for most contestants to work with and how when the field was down to five, Stacy, rather than competing with her teammate Jen, did what none of the others were able to accomplish before: she cooperated with her and, even though they were just two against three on the other side, they managed to outsell the team with the greater number of members. OK, maybe the skimpy red shirts and miniskirts helped, but still I think it was that spirit of cooperation that carried the day.


In American politics today we also see the perils of not cooperating. When Republicans and Democrats stay firmly entrenched on their individual sides of the aisle, little gets accomplished and unpleasantness ensues. It’s not that it’s not important to hold onto one’s ideals, but so much more can be achieved when people seek out their similarities, the middle ground, rather than staunchly adhering to the my-way-or-the-highway approach.

And in publishing it’s no different.

It used to be that there were two major camps in publishing, Literary v. Commercial. And within the area of women writers, that distinction has lately devolved down to the following: Chicks v. Lits. The former resents the greater review attention bestowed on the latter; the latter resents the greater sales of a hot market. But what if, instead of wasting our time throwing stones at one another, we were to pool our reader resources towards the end of greater benefit for all?

I can’t speak for anyone else’s reading habits but I know that, for myself, I can’t stand to just keep reading the same kind of book over and over again. I read a lot and I read widely, always have. A typical week of reading for me might include one literary novel or classic, a more chicky book, some nonfiction thrown in. Certainly, each week includes reading three books a night to my five-year-old daughter, those reading sessions growing incredibly long as her own tastes move into the realm of chapter books. But if I were to only read literary novels or only read chick books, eventually I know I would start to read less. It would be like eating shrimp cocktail or chocolate mousse all day long every day: I like both foods, but not all the time, thanks. And it’s the same for me with books. My appreciation of any book is enhanced by the differences in the books I read that surround that particular reading.

Frequently, perhaps because of my history as an independent bookseller and reviewer and writer, I get asked for recommendations. Or I get asked by fans, “So, what else do you think I’d like?” This question has made me start to wonder what books I can recommend from the other side of the aisle and, in my pursuit of coming up with a list of books written by literary novelists I could recommend here, I consulted my friends at www.readerville.com - a site devoted to readers and writers that I wholly recommend you subscribe to. I asked for recommendations for books that had a smart, ironical, satirical, or underlying humorous tone, since it seems to me that the success of chick books has as much to do with tone as it does with shoes (See essay from last week, “How is a Book Like a Shoe?”), maybe more so. Years ago, when coming back from Puerto Rico, my plane was struck by lightning, all the passengers becoming fast convinced they were going to die. My reaction? “At least I got my vacation in.” This may seem a callous response to a serious situation, but I don’t think so; I love my family just as much as anyone, I think, and the saddest part for me of that experience was imagining my poor parents getting that awful phone call. But it is that attitude – the attitude that, in the face of death, rather than crying “Oh, but I haven’t lived yet!”, instead says, “Hey, I had a good time in this life!” – that represents to me the best of the spirit of chick books.

The following, then, is offered in the spirit of achieving détente in the publishing world, at least among women. All of the books mentioned are, I believe, books that would be of interest to anyone who likes chick books and also has an interest in reading widely and well.
Case Histories, Kate Atkinson – recently selected by the LitBlog Co-op as their first Read This! selection, this is about a detective taking on three unsolved crimes in the London area.
Nice Big American Baby, Judy Budnitz – a collection of stories that is a nice big blend of comic and serious.

The Epicure’s Lament, Kate Christensen – a character-driven novel about Hugo Whittier, a 40-year-old misanthrope who’s not doing so good these days.

The Hills at Home, Nancy Clark – a domestic comedy, set in Boston.

What to Keep, Rachel Cline – one of my personal favorites from 2004 and an Amazon pick for best book of that year.

Gods in Alabama, Joshilyn Jackson – any book that opens with the line “There are gods in Alabama: Jack Daniel's, high school quarterbacks, trucks, big tits, and also Jesus...” is always going to be OK in my book.

Normal Girl: A Novel, Molly Jong-Fast – about a female drug addict or, as one Amazon reviewer puts it, “Bret Easton Ellis Meets Sex and the City.”

Paradise, A.L. Kennedy – as the heroine says, when asked what she does for a living, “Oh, a little theft, monstrosity, credit-card fraud, and my hobbies include giving blow jobs to unpleasant men while I'm semi-unconscious. I also drink a lot."

Liars and Saints, Maile Meloy – a wedding and a funeral, between which a Catholic family is chronicled over a period of five decades.

Moo, Jane Smiley – academia at an agricultural college from the woman who gave us one of my favorite books of all time, A Thousand Acres.

Who Will Run the Frog Hospital, Lorrie Moore – a sparkling collection of stories, the one with the guy in the condom costume alone making it well worth the price of admission.

Confessions of a Bad Girl, Bette Pesetsky – collected stories with an irresistible title.

Blue Angel, Francine Prose – satire set in Vermont about fictional Euston College, where people go if they can’t get into Bennington.

Rameau’s Niece, Cathleen Schine – Margraret Nathan, author of a best-selling scholarly biography, finds herself entranced with the manuscript of an 18th century dirty novel.

The Hazards of Good Breeding, Jessica Shattuck – a social comedy about the pressures of contemporary life in wealthy Boston.

The Queen and I, Sue Townshend – the British decide to get rid of the monarchy and Liz et alia find themselves living on the dole.

The Little Women, Katharine Weber – if you read only one book on this list, then read this one, which is about Meg and Jo and Amy – but not Beth! – dealing with parental issues and college life in contemporary New York and New Haven. Come on, we’ve all read the Alcott book – how can anyone resist?

The Position, Meg Wolitzer – sex and suburbia, about a family where the mother and father wrote a Joy of Sex-style bestseller.

OK, I’ve taken the first step here. Now, if only someone from The Other Side would reach back across the aisle to us, maybe we can get something good going here.

Lauren Baratz-Logsted is the author of The Thin Pink Line and Crossing the Line. Her third novel, A Little Change of Face, will be published in July 2005. Her essay, “If Jane Austen Were Writing Today,” is collected in Flirting with Pride and Prejudice: Fresh Perspectives on the Original Chick-Lit Masterpiece, edited by Jennifer Crusie and due out from Benbella Books on September 1.

Posted by at 6:00 AM | Comments (1)

July 7, 2005

A Moment of Silence

The literary chicks are maintaining a period of respectful silence following the terrorist attacks in London today.

Our deep sympathies and love are with all the victims and their families.

Alesia, Lani and Michelle

Posted by Michelle at 5:38 PM | Comments (0)

July 6, 2005

Technical Difficulties

Due to an incompatibility between the server we're using and Movable Type (our blogging software) posting will be intermittent on Literary Chicks for a short while. As a matter of fact, there's a fair-to-middlin' chance that this post won't get through, either. But in case it does, I wanted to give you the heads up. If you're really bored, we've got archives to the side there. Have fun!

Posted by Lani at 1:26 PM | Comments (0)

July's Giveaway Goodness!

Oh, don't sit there looking so surprised. You know the deal - a new guest Literary Chick means a new Guest LC giveaway! And this month, the lovely and talented Lauren Baratz-Logsted is giving away four signed copies of her very, very cool novel, A Little Change Of Face.

Click on the link below to get the skinny!

New!****HOW TO ENTER*****

So sorry; I forgot to tell you HOW to enter the contest. So I'm putting it in here. Send an e-mail to giveaway@literarychicks.comwith your name and e-mail address. Sorry for the confusion!


Okay. These are the rules. As you know, every month I beat my head against the wall trying to make the rules interesting for you people. Remember the origami martini glasses and the camel? Remember the cannon ball? Okay. Keep remembering those, because as of this moment, I have no idea what Random Method of Winner Selection we're gonna do this month.

Wish me luck. I'm going in.

One entry per person. Now, I know what with it being all in bold and everything, and the way it's... you know... first on the list of rules, it might not seem like we really mean only one entry per person, but we really do. So if you absolutely for whatever reason find you must send in multiple entries, go ahead.

We're just saying we'll like you better if you send just the one. That's all.

Relatives of any Literary Chick, guest or otherwise, are not eligible. I've never had anyone try to break this rule, so it's really pointless saying it again and again every month, but I have to because... you know. Everyone else does it.

And don't ask me about jumping off a bridge if everyone else did it. The answer is yes, I probably would. I'm weak and insecure that way. So sue me.

If you're under 18, get a parent's permission. Even if you're a very mature sixteen, we don't need your parents getting all freaked on us because you learned how to curse/drink/have sex/fall in love with your cad of a boss/develop an expensive shoe addiction reading one of our books. So, get permission or just wait until you're 18 to read the books. Trust us. It'll be worth it.

All entries received between today and Saturday, July 23rd* at midnight the sender's time will be eligible. Is that confusing? Okay. Let's say, it's Saturday, July 23rd at 11:59pm your time. SEND THE E-MAIL! NOW! IN A MINUTE IT'LL BE TOO LATE!

Clearer?

Method for choosing the winner:

Um... yeah. Okay. So. Sometime after midnight on July 23rd, I'm gonna take all the entries, weed out the duplicates and invalid entries, and put them all into an Excel sheet. Then I'm gonna ask my husband to choose four numbers randomly between 1 and whatever number of entries we get. Then he's gonna complain. Then I'm gonna tell him he has to do it or I'm gonna get annoyed, and he really doesn't want me to get annoyed. Then he'll rattle off four numbers like an automatic lotto machine and we'll select the four winners.

Or, you know, some method equally as random.**

Winners will be notified via e-mail within 7 days of announcement, but you know, we thought it'd be cool to be all, "Hey, Congratulations YOU!" on the site. It ain't fifteen minutes of fame, but it's all we got.

On a more serious, but still important note, none of your personal information will be saved after this contest is over. We won't be sharing it with anyone, we won't be using it for any purpose other than sending the winners their loot. Once this thing is over, we'll be like, "Who are you?" Seriously. But not in a mean, clique-y way.

Good luck!

*Yeah, it's short this month because I'll be in Reno getting drunk on the last Saturday of the month. Hope that doesn't ruin the mystique for you.
**Yes, for those of you wondering, that is actually how I do it every month. Hope that doesn't ruin the mystique for you.

Posted by Lani at 6:00 AM | Comments (3)

July 5, 2005

NICE GIRLS FINISH FIRST

From Alesia, from sunny Florida



A little back story for RELEASE DAY!!!! It's my 7th book, but only my 2nd full-length novel (for grownups) and I'm so excited!

So one day I was thinking about today’s woman, as I often do, considering that I write funny books about the everyday (and not so everyday!) things we all go through, and I was wondering about that perpetual dilemma – the Myth of the Nice Girl.

Somehow, through a peculiar evolution of the professional environment, women today are finally recognized (mostly) as equally competent, ambitious, and dedicated as men in the workforce. (We’ll leave the “we have to work smarter and harder” argument aside for now.) But yet, we have an added burden: we have to be NICE.

Now, this isn’t really tough for most women, most of the time. We were raised to be nice. That’s what little girls do, right? “Play nice!” “Be nice!” Except, well, there are times when you can’t be all that nice . . . Boyfriend cheating? Kick him to the curb! Um, in a nice way? Opposing counsel trying underhanded tactics? Notify the judge and get him sanctioned! Er, nicely?

The idea of a character who is very ambitious and a great person, but a little bit of a tough chick on the surface, really intrigued me. And I had the perfect character in Kirby Green, newly-hired exec at the Whips and Lace Co. She’d pretty much stolen every scene she was in in AMERICAN IDLE (Double RITA finalist, how cool is that??). Then I wanted to compare and contrast Kirby with a character who was so nice that she was in danger of becoming a doormat. Brianna sprang to life. My good friend who is an opera singer (no, really!) provided some great background for her. Then I set the two of them loose to play on the pages – each helping the other learn something about life, and about herself. That’s how NICE GIRLS FINISH FIRST was born.

Can we be successful as women today and still retain some of that niceness that was so valued in earlier years? I think so. But nice doesn’t mean dumb, and today’s nice girls DO finish first. They might just have to kick a little ass along the way.

Nicely.

Thanks for helping me celebrate the release of my second novel!!
hugs,
Alesia
(p.s. This nice girl is frantically polishing some pages due to Hollywood interest – you can see the details here)

Posted by Alesia at 10:00 AM | Comments (0)

July 4, 2005

How is a Book Like a Shoe?

From Lauren, July's Guest Literary Chick!

It has come to my attention, sadly, that there are people loose in the world who malign Chick-Lit on a regular basis, thinking every single offering in the subgenre is a fluffy, lighter-than-air confection about shopping and dating. It is my firm belief that the misguided people who say these things have never bothered to actually read Chick-Lit – or maybe they’ve only read one or two offerings – and thus perceive us as all writing about Manolos and Cosmos, a sorry situation that has prompted me to come up with the throwaway line, “The only time one of my (anti)heroines goes shopping is if she needs a disguise.” I’m afraid I haven’t come up yet with a throwaway line for the Cosmos, but I’m working on it, although first I suppose I should try one myself to see what all the fuss is about. Mmm…

It seems to me, for people to assume all Chick-Lit offerings play out a certain way is the same as assuming all mysteries are the same – or any genre, for that matter, plus literary fiction – when in fact mysteries are as varied as the people who write them, subsetting (if I can coin my own word here) into cozies, hardboiled, etc. And, further, to dismiss all Chick-Lit based on the example of a few is about as silly as tossing all of literature out because one had a bad experience with Beowulf in high school.

In the interests, then, of widening the perception of Chick-Lit, I’ve decided to attempt an isolation of some of its subsets in the wild. The following is offered tongue-in-cheek – of course! – and seeks to answer the question, But what if Chick-Lit really were all about shoes, what kinds of shoes would we each be?

STILETTOES: These are the books that actually do take place within the fashion industry, two examples of which are Fashionistas by Lynn Messina and The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger. Naturally, they’re much more than that – in fact, I recently read that the literary novelist Kazuo Ishiguro claims to have given his daughter a copy of Devil because he wanted her to have a better grasp of the world – and each not only has some shoes between the covers but also deals with the inherent difficulties of the Modern Woman, juggling career and relationships while aiming for work that has meaning. Oh, and they’re fun too.

BIRKENSTOCKS: I chose this name, not because these books are particularly crunchy or granola-ish, but because they don’t take place in urban settings, those urban settings being another misconception about Chick-Lit. These books do not take place in New York or London or even Reykjavik. Examples might be Mean Season by Heather Cochran or Tales of a Drama Queen by Lee Nichols. Come to think of it, my third novel, A Little Change of Face, takes place wholly in Danbury and Bethel, Connecticut, so perhaps I can qualify for a Birkenstock rating too, no?

FERRAGAMOS: Did I spell that right? Again, I select this name not so much because these books necessarily are Ferragamos, but because being the fashion-not that I am – can’t even spell the damn things – they’re the only foreign shoemaker I can think of. Examples might be Burning the Map by Laura Caldwell (Italy, Greece) or Every Boy’s Got One by Meg Cabot (whoops! Italy again). Looks like I like Italy, a lot, and I also like these books because I get to feel like I’m traveling places without paying a lot for a ticket or having the underwire of my 36C bra too closely examined by airport security.

GELLIES: Probably the most unusual shoe designation of all here – I’ve never even owned a pair – I select this name because they are thematically close to the books I feel come under this heading. Being plastic, they are a great metaphor for books about people who impersonate or fake things. In this instance, I’d like to offer up my own first novel, The Thin Pink Line, which is about a woman who fakes an entire pregnancy, and About a Boy by Nick Hornby, the man I nominate for Honorary Chick whenever I get the chance because his books are very similar in plot, tone and theme to what I consider to be the best of Chick-Lit: books that are fun to read while at the same time providing social commentary on the way we live our lives. Really, Jane Austen would have proudly hung out with Nick.

So, there you have it! It looks, after all, like it really is all about shoes. Until next time, then, when perhaps we’ll tackle handbags or lingerie, I’ll sign off here. Oh, but maybe first I should take just one more sip off this Cosmo before I go. Mmm…

Lauren Baratz-Logsted is the author of The Thin Pink Line and Crossing the Line. Her third novel, A Little Change of Face, will be published in July 2005. Her essay, “If Jane Austen Were Writing Today,” is collected in Flirting with Pride and Prejudice: Fresh Perspectives on the Original Chick-Lit Masterpiece, edited by Jennifer Crusie and due out from Benbella Books on September 1.

Posted by at 6:00 AM | Comments (1)

July 3, 2005

Trains and Where Where You, Yesterday?

http://www.live8live.com

From Michelle, Rushing Around Like a Headless Chicken in Rotterdam...

Okiday. Bizzy day today, so little short entry from me because, as you all know, multitasking is just not me :-)

Why am I dashing around like a headless chicken?

Well...

Teenager #1 is off to the UK tomorrow to spend a month with my family and I'm getting his "stuff" ready to pack...

We have to be on the 7am train to Amsterdam's Schiphol airport tomorrow morning, which means we have to get up at a horribly early time, but with my track record on Trouble with Transport and Travel I am not taking bets on whether (a) there will be a general transport strike involving us having to take a $$$ expensive cab to the airport, (b) the train will be delayed because of a cow on the tracks (did that one, got the T-shirt), (c) there will be a massive electrical failure affecting the whole train system (I have that particular T-shirt, too), or (d) we arrive at the airport and discover that he is on standby (okay, yes. I. Have. That. T-shirt. Too. Nuff said...)

Also, my mother-in-law arrives for a visit tomorrow night. Goody, I have to meet her at the airport and therefore double the possibilty for transport problems...

I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, where were you yesterday?

Obviously, I was here... (Go, Bob, you rock.)

20 years ago I was here... (Bob was rocking back then, too...)

I'll be back on Thursday with more about the concerts!

Michelle

Posted by Michelle at 4:20 PM | Comments (0)

July 2, 2005

Oprah Schmoprah

From Lani, living her best life...

Before I begin, I want to give you this link. It pretty much speaks for itself. But, a warning - don't be eating or drinking anything when you click on the link. For one, you don't want to spit anything on your pretty computer when you're reading, and for two... well, you'll figure that out on your own once you visit.

And now, for our regularly scheduled programming...

Yesterday, I was watching Oprah and she was doing one of her redecoration shows, and she got all on her high horse about how people live in messy homes and have messy cars and blah blah sanctimony blah.

"I don't understand how y'all can live like that. Don't you know that how you live reflects how you feel about yourself? Live your best life, be your best self, look at me, I did it, I'm more beautiful and healthy now in my fifties than I was in my thirties, I'm so rich I've actually figured out how to reverse time and you people can't string a few bucks together to glam up your homes? Don't you realize that your home is a sanctuary? Don't you believe that you deserve to feel comfortable and happy in your bedrooms? What the hell is wrong with you people?"

Okay. So I'm paraphrasing. But still, as I sat watching in my bland room, sitting on my bed with the old quilt stained with various beverages my kids weren't supposed to bring into my bed in the first place, I got a little pissed off.

"When, Oprah, was the last time you had to support a family of more than YOU on a salary of less than a gazillion dollars a minute? Gee, Oprah, do you think that possibly you're so young and beautiful and living in such swank digs because, perhaps, you never had children? Maybe I'd have the time to make my bedroom all prettified if I could afford to hire people to do everything for me except move my bowels, but I live what we on earth like to call a real life. My children enjoy things like food and a home and I'm a writer so I'm broke and don't even get me started on your stupid book club which only features depressing novels by dead people but... what was my point? Oh, yeah. We don't all have time, energy and money to spruce up our surroundings because some of us actually have to live in this world rather than just sit pretty and make judgments about things we know nothing about! Come talk to me about "I deserve it" when you haven't had a full-night's sleep in almost a decade and have just caught yourself refereeing a fight between your three-year-old and her Care Bear. Yeah. Come talk to me then, Opraaaaaahhhhhh."

That's not so much a paraphrase. Nope, that's pretty much exactly what I said. She didn't respond, though.

Bitch.

So, anyway, I was all incensed for a couple of hours. Then I went to bed. Then I woke up this morning and went shopping.

Isn't it adorable? I know, it's bright, but it makes me happy. My home is a sanctuary. I deserve to be happy in my own bedroom.

My husband has a theory that Oprah is actually a sorceress who has taken control over the minds of the populace through her evil television show.

I think he's crazy. Oprah rocks! Yay, Oprah! I love my new bedroom!

On another note, be sure to stop back in on Monday and find out who our Lovely Guest Literary Chick is for the month of July! Yep, we're giving away more books and having more fun with new Literary Chicks so tell all your friends! And if you're friends with Oprah, tell her I love my new bedroom!

Bitch.

(Not you. Oprah.)

Posted by Lani at 7:25 AM | Comments (6)

July 1, 2005

Thank you to our troops and their families

From Alesia, from sunny Florida


We’re doing a little holiday weekend thing (plus I’m frantically revising), so for the July 4th weekend (sorry, Michelle! ), I wanted to say thank you to our troops. No matter your political leanings, please take a moment to say thank you to the men and women serving our country, and to their families, who are also serving, in their own way.

For my HUGE THANK YOU, I’m posting a little excerpt from my non-fiction book – it’s about what it’s like to be military family when your spouse is at war. To military families, my thoughts and prayers are with you for a swift end to war and a safe return for all of you.
Hugs,
Alesia

E-MAIL TO THE FRONT: One Wife’s Correspondence with her Husband Overseas
Copyright 2003 by Alesia Holliday

Chapter 36
CNN Breaking News Usually Sucks

January 2002
To: Alesia
CNN BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN
U.S. plane down in Indian Ocean. No details available.

To: Judd
From: Alesia
Subject: Today I thought you died.

For an hour today, I didn’t know if your plane had gone
down in the ocean.

For an hour, I frantically searched the Internet for
further news of who/what/when.

For an hour, I alternated between praying and crying –
between hope and despair.

For an hour, I wondered how to tell Connor and Lauren that
Daddy was never coming home.

For an hour, I regretted every harsh word we’ve ever spoken
to each other, and wanted to yell at you for leaving me.

For an hour, I wanted to hold you, kiss you, and punch you
in the nose for putting me through this.

For an hour today, I watched my world crumple.

I love you so much, and I’m so glad you’re safe. If you
die, I’m going to kill you. Don’t ever put me through another
hour like this one.
---

We have the unique privilege these days of being able to see news events live. This is a
privilege that, some days, I’d be glad to live without. When you turn on the television or get a
breaking news bulletin beamed to your wireless e-mail, you can instantly learn that a plane has
gone down, or that a member of the U.S. military has died. But it takes a lot longer to find out
which plane has gone down. Or who has died.

That space in between – the black and terrifying limbo until more details emerge – is the
cruelest hurt inflicted on military spouses. First, the feeling like I’ve been gut-punched. What
plane? I know he was headed for patrols over the Indian Ocean. Is he there now? What plane
was it? Why don’t they give us all the news instead of doling out these flashes?
Then, searching the ‘net like a madwoman. CNN, the New York Times, somebody
somewhere has to know what plane it is.

Next, the phone calls begin. All the friends and family who know that he might be out
there. That it might be his plane. Is he OK? Is it Judd’s plane? Where’s Judd? What’s going
on? What plane was it?

As though they believe I have a secret satellite link or psychic connection to the
information even CNN doesn’t yet know. It gets harder and harder to stay calm on the phone.
A hurried trip to the bathroom. I’m either going to cry or vomit, and I don’t want my
colleagues to see either. He might be dead. What would we do without him? What do I tell my
kids? Splash water on my face and go back to the computer to search for any new word.

Then, finally, the knowledge starts to trickle in. CNN breaks some more news. The CO
gets a message to his wife, or to the squadron/spouse liaison, and the e-mail chain is activated.

It’s not Judd’s plane. It was another plane. The Search and Rescue team picked the crew up,
safe and unharmed. A fervent prayer of thanks for my family, and for the families of the crew
members who were in that downed plane.

Back to work. Phone calls have to be returned. Documents have to be reviewed.
Nobody knows that I just lived through an eternity in the space of an hour.
* * *

Posted by Alesia at 10:37 AM | Comments (4)