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August 31, 2005
Going Snarkless
From Lani, finding my happy place...
See, here's the thing. Tragedy, sadness, bad news, and grief. It's very hard to be funny and lighthearted when people are, you know, losing their lives and their homes and everything they own. So, today I'm going snarkless. Hope you don't mind.
First, I'd like to thank all Literary Chicks faithful readers and new friends who helped out with the auction for Marianne Mancusi. At the end, with 113 auction items up for bid, you all raised a whopping $14,000 to help rebuild Marianne's life. She is so grateful, and we are all stunned and humbled by the generosity of this incredible community.
Sadly, just when I was going to come back and be funny again, Katrina has devastated our friends in the south. There are some rumblings in the works from some members in the community about setting up a similar auction. Although we here at Literary Chicks won't be organizing the effort, we'll let you know what we know the second we know it.
And, if you missed your chance at getting a critique, you might just get another one. We'll keep you posted.
All right. I'm off. But I will be back on Saturday with a full ration of snark and fun and lighthearded happiness. In the meantime, check this out. It's worth it.
Posted by Lani at 7:18 PM | Comments (0)
August 27, 2005
Pigs, Cows and Beer!
From Michelle in (yet again!) Rainy Rotterdam...
So while Alesia is contending with The Move, and while Lani is Finishing The Book, and while I am Struggling With That Thing Called The High Level Concept, here are several things about Denmark that you might not know but will in a minute...
1. Copenhagen is probably the cleanest city in the world. Well, it's the cleanest city I've ever visited...
2. Carlsberg beer comes from there.
3. So does famous fairytale author Hans Christian Andersen (I walked past his house!)
4. Thirty-one cows died when they were struck by lightning in a Danish field last year.
5. Last year, Crown Prince Fredrick married Mary Donaldson, an Australian real estate agent. (They met in a Sydney bar during the 2000 olympics.)
6. There are a lot of pigs.
Actually, pigs are pretty important in Denmark - the stock is roughly thirteen million (there are only five million Danes, so that's a lot of pigs), and there's nothing the Danes like more than...pig racing!
It's absolutely true! In fact, when On Patient One and I were in Copenhagen last weekend we watched one in the city center.
Michelle, off to work on The High Level Concept :-)
Posted by Michelle at 9:58 AM | Comments (0)
August 22, 2005
The Curious Incident of the Purse in the Night-Time
From Rotterdam With Lipstick...
This weekend, because Oh Patient One was in Copenhagen for work, I decided to go out and join him for a couple of days. And it really was like the song - Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen!
It was completely fabulous! And I am happy to say that I had absolutely no problems whatsoever with trains and plane tickets, or being FalconryTheSequelled.
So, what did go wrong, Michelle? I hear you all cry. Because whenever I travel there is a tale to tell. Well, I woke up early on Sunday morning and...
...my purse is missing.
I have no idea why my purse is the first thing I think of on waking, but I do, and I just can't find it. Anywhere.
I search every nook and cranny in the hotel room and finally I come to the conclusion that either (a) I left it in the restaurant last night, or (b) a thief has snuck into the room while Oh Patient One and I were asleep and has stolen my purse!
I reject option (a) because that purse contains my passport, my wallet (and therefore bank cards and credit cards), my lipstick, and generally my entire life, and I am always super careful about not leaving it anywhere. Plus, I know I had it the night before because when we got back from the restaurant I got my hotel key out of it to open our room. At least I think I did. And my hotel key is on the table...
So, option (b) then.
Me to Oh Patient One: "Wake up, I can't find my purse anywhere."
Oh Patient One (half asleep): "It must be here somewhere."
Me (looking under the bed for the millionth time): "It's not. I've looked everwhere."
Oh Patient One (still half asleep): "It must be here somewhere."
Me (looking behind the curtain for the millionth time): "No. Defintely not here. I've looked a million times. Do you know what I think?"
Oh Patient One (sighing): "No. It's seven in the morning. I don't even know what I think at seven in the morning."
Me (looking in the minibar for the millionth time, just in case): "I think some ruthless thief crept into our room and stole my purse. I woke up at about five to get a drink of water and I heard a door closing nearby."
Oh Patient One (pointing to the table on which in plain view is his wallet and his passport): "Look, the thief theory just doesn't hold up because why would he/she take your purse and leave my wallet and passport?"
Me (looking in the shower for the millionth time, just in case): "Maybe the thief was disturbed when I woke up and only had time to take my purse. Plus, I'm sure I had it when we got back last night because I had to get the hotel key out of it."
Oh Patient One (patiently pointing to his laptop on the chair near the door): "Look, nobody in this city even locks up their bikes, plus why didn't the thief take my laptop? Maybe you left your purse in the restaurant and your key was in your pocket."
Actually, it's true about the Danish and their bikes. Nobody bothers locking up their bikes in the capital city, so obviously thievery isn't a common problem.
Me (pulling on clothes): "Okay, I'm going to the restaurant to see what time they open."
Oh Patient One (rolling his eyes): "But it's seven in the morning."
Me (heading out of the door without lipstick): "I know, but my flight is at three and I need to find out what time the restaurant opens. I can't go anywhere without that purse, because I am now officially a nonperson with no ID and no plane ticket and No Lipstick."
Oh Patient One (raising a Sean Connery eyebrow at me): "Okay. Do you know where the restaurant is?"
Actually, that's a good point...
Me: "Um, can you just show me on the map?"
Oh Patient One (who should be panicking more but isn't): "Do you know where the hotel is on the map?"
Actually, that's a good point, too...
Me: "Um, can you show me that on the map, too?"
So Oh Patient One shows me where I am and where I am going to (about five minutes and two blocks away) and I trip off to the restaurant and discover that it doesn't open until an hour after my flight is scheduled to leave.
So I trudge wearily back to the hotel, making a mental check list of all the phone calls I'm going to have to make, and wondering if I will be stranded in Copenhagen for the rest of my life, and when I get back to the hotel room Oh Patient One is whistling cheerfully in the bathroom as he shaves, and I'm thinking, "So why is he so happy?" And then...
I see my purse on the bed.
Me (totally rapturous with relief): "Ohmygod. You found it. I love you. You're brilliant. But where was it? I looked everywhere."
Oh Patient One (sticking his head around the bathroom door): "You must have put it on the bed when we got back last night, and then we kicked off the comforter because it was hot and your purse was tangled up in it. I told you it had to be here somewhere."
Whew! Although that last comment was a bit smug.
So, we are about to go to breakfast and I can't find my hotel key. Obviously, this is my day for losing things.
Oh Patient One: "But you had it when you got back from the restaurant just now. It must be in your purse."
Me (emptying my purse for the tenth time): "But it's not here."
And then a thought occurs to me.
Me: "Can you just check your pockets to see if you picked it up by mistake?"
Oh Patient One (a bit sheepishly as he discovers two hotel keys in his pocket): "Oops, sorry."
And then we went for breakfast, and then we had another great day in Copenhagen, and then I got my flight back and nothing went wrong and all was well.
Michelle, back on Thursday with Danish pig racing...
Posted by Michelle at 7:12 AM | Comments (0)
August 20, 2005
The One Where Lani Doesn't Give a Crap
From Lani, in Crankyville Central...
All right. I usually try not to do this, but I just had to respond to the big kerfuffle over the latest chick lit bashing, this one occurring at Number One Hit Song, a blog which - although I didn't spend too much time there - seems to be based on... things people hate. Forgive me if I'm oversimplifying, if this is a great bastion of intellectual debate, but as far as I can tell... not so much.
Which works for some people. God bless.
With the exception of the fact that the writer takes personal shots at Jennifer Weiner and Stephanie Lessing while remaining a big fat coward anonymous, I really don't give a crap what she has to say about chick lit.
Yeah, I said it. I don't give a crap. Your question? If I don't give a crap, why am I writing about it?
Good question. You try coming up with a fresh blog twice a week when on deadline. I takes whats I can gets, baby.
So, basically, I'm using this loser as an opportunity to say to everyone that if people don't like you and don't like what you do, don't do it for them.
This is a big concept. Was for me when I started to understand it a couple of years ago. It's what helps me deal with bad reviews and the people who for various reasons, not all of them unjustified, just don't like me.
Yeah, well, those people? I'm not in it for them. This is an especially hard concept for women to internalize. While we enjoy disliking whomever we wish to dislike, most of us have this "be nice" gene that goes off like a behavior-correcting device every time someone doesn't like us. Makes us crazy, makes us insane, even people we hate must like us because...
There really is no good reason. Screw that gene. That gene is fucking inane. Just remember, girls - you're not in it for them. You're in it for the people you can affect, the people you can help, the people you can love and damnit, the people who love you. Everyone else matters only in the grand scheme of things, in the fact that they are living human beings doing the best they can in a world which consistently screws with them, but in your world, in the context of you? They don't matter. You're not in it for them.
Kinda freeing, isn't it? Like going commando on a fresh spring morning...
So. Back to the big fat coward Little Ms. Anonymous. If you don't like chick lit, don't read it. If you don't like me, go visit someone else's blog. Life is too short to bother with things you don't like, and it's definitely too short to wish violent death on someone who did nothing worse than write a book with a happy ending. You know me, I'm always up for a good joke. Or even a bad one. But taking a swipe at chick lit writers just to take a swipe? Someone needs to up their dosage. And their originality. S'been done, babe.
All right. Fine. So I give a little of a crap. But very little. And mostly because she didn't put her name on it, which typically hacks me off. I'm all for having opinions, if you have the integrity to stand behind them. But mostly this rant is just the result of PMS, deadline hell and my total lack of motivation to find something else to write about. So this essay probably doesn't reflect real well on me.
But at least I put my name on it.
[end rant]
Posted by Lani at 7:26 PM | Comments (3)
August 19, 2005
Another Lit Chick in a motel . . .
From Alesia, finally in Virginia Beach
So three out of three Literary Chicks have been in motels over the past week (assuming Michelle isn't staying with friends or camping out near the Little Mermaid), and none of us are having cheap, meaningless sex. Sigh. The chick lit lifestyle isn't . . . exactly. :)
I FINALLY reached Virginia all in one piece, after EXPLODING TIRES, ROAD TRIP HELL, and nearly going to JAIL last night. You'll be happy to know that today, when we joined the Virginia Zoo, there weren't any escaped lions or exploding camel poop.
With the week I've had, I kind of expected it . . .
I LOVE travelling, when it's 'grab your suitcase and go somewhere new for a week or two.' When it's "take the kids on an umpteen-hour drive in the car with everything you can fit in, then start fresh in a new city and unpack everything you own while on deadline," NOT SO MUCH.
Of course, now it's RAINING. And I'm trying to keep Princess and Science Boy entertained in the hotel room. (Which is why we went to the zoo today, and walked around in the rain. Hey, we used to live in SEATTLE. We're WATERPROOF.)
Every time I travel, it's like a comedy road trip. I have a big karmic sign on my forehead, apparently, that says I'M TRAVELLING. PLEASE GIVE ME MATERIAL FOR MY FUTURE STAND-UP COMEDY ROUTINE.
Sigh. So, please, MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. Tell my YOUR travel horror stories.
hugs,
Alesia, still moderately sane
Posted by Alesia at 5:46 PM | Comments (2)
August 18, 2005
Dude, Where's My Bike?
From Michelle, muttering curse words under her breath in Rotterdam...
I love Brenda. I really, really love Brenda. Brenda and I go everywhere together. She is one faithful constant in my life. I totally depend on her. We go to the supermarket together, we go to the cinema together, we go to Jef and Dan's bar together. We go absolutely everywhere together. At least we did until the other day when...
Some horrible, mean, unscrupulous, thieving person with a pair of industrial strength metal cutters hacked off the security chain and RUTHLESSLY STOLE MY BRENDA!
And yes, I think it's absolutely normal to love my bicycle and to give her a name.
Anyway, this is what I looked like when I discovered that supermarket shopping would now have to be done on foot, and life would have to go on without Brenda...
Michelle, off to Copenhagen for the weekend tomorrow - so there is bound to be a problem with the train to Amsterdam airport, which will probably involve a $150 cab ride and being on standby for the flight...
Posted by Michelle at 1:44 PM | Comments (1)
August 13, 2005
From the depths of deadline hell...
From Lani, doing it motel style...
Hey, all! I'm writing from the fresh and fancy digs of the By The Airport Motel, where I'm busting ass to meet my Monday deadline. Fish sent me here so I could write in peace without Sweetness and Light constantly interrupting me for the very important task of either seeing what they've most recently deposited in the toilet (Light, she's been potty-trained for a while, I have to wonder when this will end) or look at their latest pictures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl (Sweetness, she's a hell of an artist and if only I had my scanner with me, I could show you...)
But, all in all, I'm writing like mad and mostly just checking in to say that the Literary Chicks will be back to your regularly scheduled programming soon. Alesia's moving cross country, Michelle is writing her ass off, Dutch-style, and I'm on deadline, so we've all been a little sporadic lately. Not to mention, we've been working hard on Marianne's auction which you really should visit because - hey - signed copies of books, loads of manuscript critiques from industry professionals, and more, more, more! Check it out.
So all this to say, we will be back soon, and with a vengeance (and a snazzy new September giveaway!) Thank you for hanging in there with us!
P.S. And, oh yeah, I WON A RITA!!!!!
Posted by Lani at 10:51 AM | Comments (1)
August 12, 2005
On the road again . . .
From Alesia, packing the car in Florida
It's more than just a Willie Nelson song!! I'm headed off in an hour for the 820-mile drive to my mothers to get my children. I haven't seen them in NEARLY THREE WEEKS and am LOSING MY MIND!!!!! So think good thoughts and send me "LET LARGE TRUCKS NOT RUN HER OFF THE ROAD IN HER TINY CAR SHE HATES" vibes, and I'll take pics of funny trip adventures (because whenever I travel, I have an invisible sign on my forehead that says IF YOU'RE CERTIFIABLY INSANE, PLEASE TALK TO ME.
We love you all and are so amazed and appreciative of how many people have stepped up to help Marianne! What an inspiring example of grace and community you all are.
hugs,
Alesia, Travelling Chick
Posted by Alesia at 9:26 AM | Comments (0)
August 10, 2005
83 more auction items up!!
Autographed books, more fun goodies - it's crazy!! Look HEREfor all the details!
hugs,
Alesia, 36 hours away from the 820-mile drive . .
Posted by Alesia at 2:05 PM | Comments (1)
August 8, 2005
New Auction Items!
Newly added and up for auction are...
Signed copy of THE BEAST WITHIN by Suzanne McMinn
Signed copy of CONFESSIONS OF A SUPER MOM by Melanie Hauser
Signed copy of IF ANDY WARHOL HAD A GIRLFRIEND by Alison Pace
Signed advanced copy of JANE MILLIONAIRE by Janice Lynn
MIA ZACHARY signed book lot (3 books)
Guest ‘Smart Bitchery” sessions with Smart Bitches, Trashy Books
Tarot reading by STEPHANIE LYNCH
Character named after you in ALESIA HOLLIDAY’S next book
Manuscript Critique by ALLISON RUSHBY
Manuscript Critique by BETH de GUZMAN
Manuscript Critique by CHRIS KEESLAR
Manuscript Critique by DIANA PETERFREUND
Manuscript Critique by JENNIFER CRUSIE
Manuscript Critique by KRISTIN PAINTER
Manuscript Critique by LANI DIANE RICH
Manuscript Critique by ROBIN FLURY
Manuscript Critique by MICHELLE CUNNAH
Manuscript Critique by STEVEN AXELROD
Manuscript Critique by SUZANNE BROCKMANN
Manuscript Critique by THE KNIGHT AGENCY
Go check it out!
Posted by Lani at 12:35 PM | Comments (0)
August 6, 2005
And the first auction is up and running!
The wonderful Gemma Halliday (our complete godsend with Ebay detail) has put up the first ten auction items. And here is the link to Ebay and the prizes to be won...
http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZmariannefirefund
The prizes:
Signed copy of 32AA
Signed copy of A DOSE OF MURDER
Basket of Books from Kelly St. John
Manuscript Critique by CHRIS KEESLAR
Manuscript Critique by GAIL DAYTON
Manuscript Critique by BRIANA ST. JAMES
Manuscript Critique by AMY KNUPP
Manuscript Critique by KAREN ROSE
Manuscript Critique by MELISSA SENATE
Manuscript Critique by THE KNIGHT AGENCY
Gemma will put up another 10 - 20 items in a couple of days, with even more to follow! Stay posted, folks (but don't worry, cos we'll remind you, LOL), and a huge, huge thanks to Gemma from the literarychicks (we love you, gal!).
So go bidding, folks!
Love to Marianne from us all xx
Posted by Michelle at 1:56 PM | Comments (1)
Size doesn't matter . . .
At least in this one instance.
reminder on addy:
Marianne Mancusi
PO Box 8003
Boston, Mass 02114
She had a rough night last night in her new apartment, but said she was so comforted by the fact of so much kindness from so many. Thank you again, on her behalf, and of course from us, too.
Alesia
Posted by Alesia at 12:37 PM | Comments (0)
August 5, 2005
Book drive list link
If you're wondering about sending books to Marianne to rebuild her library, check out the list here . Thanks again!!
hugs,
Alesia
Posted by Alesia at 2:06 PM | Comments (0)
eBay auction
Hey all - in response to your queries, the eBay auction is not up yet. We're still waiting on one last thing to get that up and on its way. However, I promise you, the second it is up, we'll update here, and you can all get those links up on your sites. Thanks again!
Posted by Lani at 7:12 AM | Comments (0)
August 4, 2005
Thank you
Okay, I know Alesia came on here to say this, but I just have to tell you all how deeply, deeply moved I am to be a part of this community of incredible people. The response to our simple request for a few items to donate for Marianne was literally overwhelming; at 100 items, we had to close it down because it was just too much to process. It was amazing.
And a special, special "Thank you," to Robin Flury, AKA Gemma Halliday, AKA Little Miss Golden Heart Winner 2005, for stepping up to the occasion and getting all the eBay pages ready to go. She's worked easily as hard on all this as anyone, and has done it all behind the scenes without asking for or expecting an ounce of the credit. She is amazing, and I love her. Thank you, Robin/Gemma!
And once more, for those in the back, Marianne's address for sending gift certificates (Target is the store of choice, but any and all are deeply appreciated) and books:
Marianne Mancusi
PO BOX 8003
boston, MASS 02114
Thank you so, so very much. You all have really touched my heart. And I promise I'll be back to my usual wise-ass self next week, but for now, I know I can speak for Marianne, Alesia, Michelle and myself when I say (high-pitched, weepy voice) we love you guys.
Posted by Lani at 9:53 PM | Comments (2)
Thanks and We're set!
Thanks to everyone who graciously donated to the auction! We're good to go now, so please donate directly to Marianne at:
Marianne Mancusi
P.O. Box 8003
Boston, MASS 02114
You can see what's left of her house here, or find the list of what books are being sent, in case you have some you can send, here.
Stay tuned for a link to bid on auction items and critiques from top industry names!
hugs,
Alesia
Posted by Alesia at 8:22 PM | Comments (0)
More on Marianne
This was Marianne's house.
I spoke to Marianne yesterday, and we should be able to get the auction up within a few days. We've got critiques from industry professionals Chris Keesler, the Deidre Knight Agency, Beth de Guzman, Stephanie Kip Rostan, Steve Axelrod, and more. Authors critiquing include Jennifer Crusie, Allison Rushby, Bev Katz Rosenbaum, Dianna Love Snell, Wendy Roberts, all three Literary Chicks and more. And we've got loads of signed books, plus a tremendous basket full of books and goodies donated by up and coming Warner Forever author Kelley St. John. So we're doing great. Keep 'em coming!
The next big push will be getting the word out to aspiring authors, so watch this space for that information.
And if you plan on donating books, please be sure to let me know EXACTLY what you want to donate so that we can get that in the file. Thanks!
Lani
Posted by Lani at 9:02 AM | Comments (1)
August 3, 2005
How you can help
Hello, everyone! It's Lani, and I just want to say, thank you SO MUCH for all of your support for Marianne. I'm getting tons of stuff for the auction, and am actively organizing that now.
Right now, Alesia and I are really busy getting all this put together, so I thought I'd pop on here and give the basic instructions.
HOW YOU CAN HELP...
1. SEND BOOKS OR GIFT CERTIFICATES DIRECTLY TO MARIANNE. I'll repost the address here:
Marianne Mancusi
PO BOX 8003
boston, MASS 02114
Books are great, but gift certificates are better. She's going to have to do a lot of shopping, so sending a few bucks on a gift certificate will be a huge help.
2. DONATE CRITIQUES FOR THE ONLINE AUCTION. We've got a lot of signed books, but the critiques will get more at auction. If you've got a couple of signed books, you can send them to Marianne directly as well. If you would like to donate a critique, e-mail lani@literarychicks.com with "Marianne" in the subject title.
3. LINK TO THIS PAGE ON YOUR WEBSITE. Funnel everyone to this post and that will answer most of the questions, and get Marianne the fastest support.
When we've got the auction up, we'll let you know and you can help us publicize to aspiring writers looking to get critiques from agents, editors and published authors.
Thanks so much. Marianne's out of touch, but she does want everyone to know how grateful she is for your support.
Thanks again,
Lani
Posted by Lani at 12:30 PM | Comments (0)
Update on Marianne help
Marianne is still having problems with her phone and can't access her phone numbers, and has intermittent access to e-mail. She was renting a cottage and did not have renter's insurance, so now all of her things are gone. She is truly devastated, but sends her warmest thanks to all of you who so graciously offered to help during this terrible time.
The good news is that she has a new apartment ready to move into soon. Anything at all that you can think of that will help a single girl starting over (in addition to books and CDs) would be welcome. The addy to mail to is:
Marianne Mancusi
PO BOX 8003
boston, MASS 02114
At the Literary Chicks, we're going to run a fundraising auction, too, so if you're willing to donate critiques or books to be auctioned, please send an e-mail to lani@literarychicks.com. Thank you all so much for your warm hearts.
Huge hugs,
Alesia
Posted by Alesia at 11:43 AM | Comments (0)
August 2, 2005
A Writer’s Tragedy – please help!
From Alesia
In the midst of packing and frantically finishing the book and sending out celebratory e-mails to so many of my friends, including THE AMAZING RITA-WINNING LANI!!!!, I received terrible news. A dear friend of the Literary Chicks, Marianne Mancusi, returned home from conference to find that lightning had struck her home while she was gone, and it burned to the ground.
She lost everything.
Luckily, her dog was staying with Marianne’s mom, so there is at least a silver lining there. But we at the Literary Chicks want to help in a BIG WAY! We’re hosting a BOOK DRIVE. One of a writer’s most important possessions is her library, so please help us help Marianne by setting aside a book or three from your own library that you can send to her. We’ll post a mailing addy in this space soon (as soon as she has one!).
Thank you for your compassion and help.
Hugs,
Alesia
Posted by Alesia at 3:32 PM | Comments (4)
