« November 2005 | Main | January 2006 »
December 31, 2005
Tick Tock
From Lani, taking a few moments to tease...
Sorry I haven't been around much, folks. I've been working on your BIG SURPRISE. You know, the one we've been teasing ALL WEEK because we're all so excited we can hardly contain ourselves?
Well, tick tock, baby. Your surprise? Is here on Sunday morning. And I'm dying to tell you what it is. Really DYING. Because I can't keep a surprise to myself. So... well, okay. Alesia and Michelle aren't around, right? They'll never know if I just tell you now... so come a little closer...
... I have to tell you that I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR THAT! I'm not telling you. Aside from the fact that Alesia and Michelle would very soundly KICK MY ASS, it's really worth it to wait for tomorrow morning. It'll be like Christmas all over again.
So go out and enjoy your new year, then come back tomorrow and see what's up here.
Because it's goooooood. Really, really good.
Tee hee!
Posted by Lani at 6:00 AM | Comments (4)
December 30, 2005
Just when you thought you’d escaped . . .
From Alesia, who needs to buy champagne
. . . from yet another self-absorbed list of “what I did in 2005” [nope, not going to do that!] or another wishful-thinking list of “what I resolve for 2006” [nope, no more wishful thinking], here I am at Literary Chicks to start the first annual list of “I’d X if I X, but since I don’t, then X.”Here’s how you play:
Think of your most aspirational pie-in-the-sky goal or resolution, then write it down. Yep, no matter how unrealistic, ridiculous, or likely to make those who know and love you snort eggnog out their noses. Then, write down what you’d need to have to make THAT one work. Then laugh REALLY REALLY HARD and write down something that makes you go all warm and gushy inside, like the center of fresh-out-of-the-over Max and Erma’s chocolate chip cookies.
Confused yet? Yeah, I thought so. This is why I never got that job writing instruction booklets for toys . . .
Okay, I’ll go first:
I’d resolve to be in FANTASTIC SHAPE and in fact nearly skeletally thin like Angelina Jolie, if only I had unlimited funds for personal trainers, but since I don’t, I resolve to eat healthier, exercise more, and take care of myself.
I’d resolve to write TWELVE BOOKS A YEAR so everybody in the world could buy my books, if only I lived alone in a hermetically-sealed cell with nothing but my computer (and no internet), but since I don’t and wouldn’t really want to (‘cause there’s that problem of going all UnaBomber without enough human interaction) and since I believe that I need to actually HAVE a life in order to write about life, I’m going to schedule my books in a manageable way that leaves me time for brainstorming, daydreaming, and vacation.
I’d resolve to find the VERY BEST FRIENDS in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE, friends who would stand by me when times are tough, stand up for me when people are unkind, listen to me vent when I need it, celebrate with me when I have great news, allow me to share their joys and troubles, and form a circle of generosity that I can rely on no matter where we are located geographically, if only . . .
Wait. There is no “if only” this time. That’s what I already have!! I love you all.
May 2006 bring all of our wonderful readers and guests much Peace and Joy and Love.
Hugs,
Alesia
P.S. Please play along! Share at least one of yours in the comments.
Posted by Alesia at 12:17 PM | Comments (6)
December 29, 2005
Green Card!
From Michelle, considering geography...
So, did you all have a lovely, lovely holiday? Hope so!
We did, and thankfully nothing eventfully disastrous to report. No cars got glass showered on them from four stories up, which is always a bonus, we picked up Teenager #1 from Schiphol airport on Christmas Day without a hitch, the turkey got cooked in the new micro/oven combi without (miraculously) getting burned, and the Brussels sprouts were delicious and crisp (sorry, Lani, I know your feelings on the Brussels sprouts topic).
Yes, I am full of goodwill to all men, women, children, and small furry animals. And just to add to my general ambiance, I got this, you know, popup thing on my computer, and it said something along the lines of, "Enter the American Green Card Lottery," and I thought, "Well, in a couple of years time it would be lovely to move back to America, so I'll have a go," because as you all know, I love America, so I decided to check out the green card lottery and see exactly what was what.
I went to the URL and I discovered many wondrous things...
Imagine ALL of the countries on the ENTIRE planet. I mean Every. Single. One. Of Them.
There are a very lot of them, in fact there are about two hundred and forty of them, and I know this because I counted them.
Now, of these two hundred and forty countries there are only twenty-nine countries whose citizens are NOT ALLOWED to enter the American green card lottery, and call me a curious chick if you like, but I just had to check them out, and these are The Excluded Ones:
Anguilla
Bermuda
British Indian Ocean Territory
British Virgin Islands
Canada
Caymen Islands
China
Colombia
Dominican Republic
El Salvador
Falkland Islands
Gibraltar
Haiti
India
Jamaica
Mexico
Montserrat
Myanmar
Pakistan
Phillipines
Pitcairn
Poland
Russia
South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands
South Korea
St Helena
Turks and Caicos Islands
Vietnam
And last but not least...
the United Kingdom!
But. But. But I thought that the USA and the UK are, you know, really strong allies and Bestest of Friends, so the exclusion is a bit baffling (actually, a lot baffling).
On the bright side, there are exciting times a-coming from the Literary Chicks. It's a secret right now, but if you pop back here on Sunday, Alesia, Lani and I will Reveal All!
Michelle (composing a very polite letter to Mr. Bush and Mr. Blair re: A Logical Explanation regarding the green card lottery exclusion thing)
PS. If you don't believe me, go here and check out the site for yourselves...
Posted by Michelle at 6:00 PM | Comments (1)
December 27, 2005
THINK SIX!!!
From Alesia, surrounded by ornaments
I'm in the midst of packing away a ridiculous amount of Christmas decorations and taking care of a very sick little girl, but I had to pop in to say a word about the magical number SIX!
SIX, as in SIX OH NINE a.m., the hour my darling son, Science Boy, woke us up on Christmas Day - SANTA CAME, MOMMY!!! GET UP NOW!!!
And SIX, as in the magical number of . . . oh, WAIT!! That would SPOIL the SURPRISE!! But stay tuned . . .
Hugs,
Alesia, packing with one hand and wiping noses with the other.
Posted by Alesia at 11:01 AM | Comments (4)
December 24, 2005
Happy Holidays!!!
From Lani, hanging out under the mistletoe...
I still have to go shopping - got presents, forgot food - so I don't have much time this morning, but I wanted to drop by and say HAPPY HOLIDAYS to everyone. And if you don't celebrate the holidays, then I hope there's some good TV on for you tonight. Oooh, and a bottle of sumfin' nummy in the liquor cabinet.
So, best holiday wishes to all. And be sure to come back after the first of the year. Because Literary Chicks? Is a'changing.
Intrigued? You should be...
Posted by Lani at 9:11 AM | Comments (4)
December 22, 2005
The Window, Again!
From Michelle, looking forward to the end of 2005...
So, 2005. Not the best year of my life as some of you may have guessed by now. Remember when this happened to my window?
Well, you are not going to believe this but...
Guess what happened in the wee, small hours of last Saturday morning?
Yes. It happened, again, and there I was at 1.30. a.m. on Saturday morning cleaning up the mess.
Poor Teenager #2, who was badly shaken by the event, has taken a vow never to open a window in the apartment, or, in fact, in any kind of building, ever again.
Wonder why nobody warned us not to open the bloody windows when we moved in? Also, interestingly enough (and I know this because I asked Nice Concierege about this after window-shattering event Number Two) the reason that Big Company who owns this block hasn't installed safety glass is because the current frames are too weak to support the safety glass, and it would cost them an absolute fortune. So apparently it is an unspoken rule that nobody opens a window...
On the bright side, my new oven/microwave combi arrived as promised on the right day at the right time. Yay! Lady Luck is finally smiling on me!
Also on the bright side, Good Friend Dan took me to a specially-for-restaurateurs huge supermarket to buy my turkey. See, the regular supermarkets over here don't stock turkeys, or even chickens bigger than about three or four pounds.
So, I have my turkey, I have the oven to cook it in, and...I've just downloaded the manufacturer's English instructions...also, yay!
Plus, Teenager #1 will be arriving from America on Christmas Morning and the whole family will be together. Yay again!
I am counting my blessings, I really am.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Prettige Kerstdagen One And All :-)
Michelle
Posted by Michelle at 1:24 PM | Comments (2)
December 21, 2005
TRACKING SANTA!!!
I'm snarking an extra post here at the Literary Chicks because I know many of our readers will be travelling for the holidays - please be safe!! And, before you go, I simply MUST point out one of our favorite family tradtions (the kids love it, too!!) Every year, NORAD uses all of its very sophisticated radar systems to actually TRACK SANTA CLAUS and the reindeer as they travel all over the world carrying presents to all the children. Starting early on Christmas Eve day, we start checking the computer HERE for updates on where the big guy is!! You can see Rudolph's shiny nose leading Santa around the globe with hourly updates. Happy holidays to all of you and Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate it from me, Navy Guy, Science Boy, and Princess. Hope you have fun tracking Santa, too!!
hugs,
Alesia
Posted by Alesia at 2:20 PM | Comments (4)
December 20, 2005
This space for rent
From Alesia, sick to DEATH of spam
I’m sad to announce that I will no longer be part of the Literary Chicks blog, even though it has been a truly wonderful and amazing experience.
You see, I’ve won the Nigerian Lotto. All I have to do is send my $5000.00 to a widow who has seven hungry children to support [including at least four with very rare illnesses], and she will pay the necessary fees and send me the FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS that everybody else is too much of a FOOL to claim!!!
So, I’m to be rich beyond my wildest dreams, which means, frankly, that I don’t need this gig.
I’ll also be joining the FBI. Or the CIA. They’re DESPERATE to get me.
Because the FBI and CIA send me personal e-mails all the time, detailing the ways in which signing me as an agent will save the ENTIRE COUNTRY, POSSIBLY THE ENTIRE WORLD from utter destruction. And I can pay the small fees out of my lottery winnings.
But I may be a tad tired out, because I’m also using my winnings to buy a case or two of #VIAGRA% and CIALI$. It’s handy to have around, don’t you know? But if we run out, that’s okay, because I’ll be able to afford those DISHWASHER-SAFE blown glass sex toys. [Because, really, there’s nothing gross and revolting about washing sex toys in the dishwasher with your SILVERWARE, right??]
Plus, I’ll be trim and thin because every woman needs a few dozen boxes of HOODI@. Those are on the way, too.
Not that any of it matters to me, because I have several hundred HOT STOCK TIPS to wade through. It only makes sense to invest my lottery winnings wisely. I don’t want to be a FOOL like all those poor idiots who passed on the opportunity. If only they’d read those e-mails . . .
Hugs,
Alesia
p.s. Please weigh in with your vote for most annoying variety of spam!!
Posted by Alesia at 8:51 AM | Comments (14)
December 16, 2005
Meme Me
From Lani, who, believe it or not, is still alive...
You know it's time to blog when people start calling to see if you're still alive. I am alive, it's just - you know - 'tis the season for running around like a chicken with its head cut off. And I've found that if I don't blog absolute first thing in the morning, it just doesn't happen.
So, here it is, first thing in the morning, and I'm looking for a meme. I still can't wrap my mind around the meme. I looked it up in Wikipedia, and discovered that it refers to any piece of information transferred from one mind to another. That was the last sentence on that page that I really understood, because it went on about memetics and genetics and blah blah blah, too smart for me. I thought it was the combinaton of the word "Me" twice, as in, "It's all about me-me-me-me," just shortened to "meme," mutated to be pronounced like "theme."
Hey, I never billed myself as an intellectual. I'm just as stupid as the next guy. Sometimes, more so.
But, really, to me, that's what memes are - those endless questions that I can't imagine anyone would want my answer to. If you were stuck on a desert island and could only bring one book, what would it be? (Pride and Prejudice, trite but true.) If you could ban one word from the public lexicon, what would it be? (Metrosexual, never should have been in the damn lexicon in the first place.) If you could change one thing about your appearance, what would it be? (My big fat butt. Although, if I changed just my butt, and the rest of me remained the same, then that would look funny. So my whole body, about two sizes smaller. And now I sound like one of those women who's just never happy with herself. I'm really not. It's just that if I had to change something... memes are dangerous.)
But now that I know the real definition - any piece of information transferred from one mind to another - I think memes are much more interesting. Because they don't have to be about me. They can be about anything.
So I'm going to share some Pieces of Information that I Find Interesting (and I encourage you to do the same - either by blog linked through the comments or in the comments themselves. Fun, fun!)
Here we go...
1. Did you know that according to Einstein's Theory of Relativity - which states that all mass is basically just really intense energy - that each of us in our person contains enough energy to explode with the equivalent of something like 10 atomic bombs if only we could figure out how to release it? (I got this from Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything. I didn't just happen to know this. But it's interesting, isn't it?)
2. Maine claims to supply both 90% of the world's lobsters and 90% of the world's toothpicks (go, Maine!) and yet, when someone asked, "If you were to be the Fill-In-The-Blank Capital of the World, what would you be?" (obviously, Maine does memes) they picked toothpicks. I'm guessing, lobster was already taken or someone's toothpick-loving ass got fired.
3. The flush toilet was invented by a guy named Thomas Crapper. You just can't buy that kind of irony.
All right. I've got a morning coffee date, so I gotta run. Happy Saturday!
Posted by Lani at 10:03 PM | Comments (3)
On not being a cowboy
From Alesia, feeling fine
Today the lovely and talented Miss Graham, who is not only a terrific first-grade teacher, but the Great and Final Word on All Things Educational in Princess’s mind and conversation (and when your child first begins school and suddenly her teacher supplants you as the Queen of All Knowledge, you get a little twinge, but for a truly great teacher you not only get past it, you’re DELIGHTED) invited me into her classroom to talk to the kids about what authors do.
Let me tell you – six and seven-year old kids can be a TOUGH CROWD, but I had a blast!!
We talked about fiction and non-fiction, and about characters and how to play the What If? Game. I taught them the idea of Conflict, and how it means that you need to put your characters in LOTS AND LOTS OF TROUBLE. Because, as I asked, what is the WORST thing a book can possibly be?
Answer: BORING.
I volunteer in class to help with reading every week, so I know these tiny future authors and future readers and future astronauts. One boy told me that he’s going to be a pilot AND a doctor, but if he has time, he’d like to be an author, too.
I told him to go for it.
We talked about cover art for books and how that is created – “Who draws the pictures?” was a popular question. I showed them a manuscript and compared the papers they’d written that morning to the 400 or so pages and 100,000 words that I’d had to write for a book. They asked me how long it took, and I told them it took months and months to write a book; sometimes a year or more for some authors, and one boy smacked himself in the forehead and told me I should have been a cowboy.
Sometimes I think that myself.
Then we “wrote” a book together about a first-grade class who lives on Mars and went to the park with their teacher, the tall and lovely Miss Graham who has short black hair and bright green skin. The class went to the park and found a pink and purple giraffe who happened to have the same name as their principal.
(That got a big laugh -- there’s a lesson in there that’s either about anarchy or about the joy of pink-and-purple giraffes, but it was 8 in the morning and I hadn’t had coffee yet, so don’t ask me to explain.)
And as we created that story, with input from 20 miniature authors, the reasons I love writing glowed on my face as much as on theirs. Because I get paid for playing. Because I get to play WHAT IF? and write stories that make people laugh and cry and think. Because I live in a world where there can be pink-and-purple giraffes any time I want; I just have to dream them up.
Plus, you know, unlike the cowboy thing – no horse poop.
And, in case you hadn’t thought about it lately - Teachers ROCK!
Hugs and happy weekend,
Alesia
Posted by Alesia at 12:16 PM | Comments (2)
December 15, 2005
The Key Issue
From Michelle, seething with frustration over something that should not involve any seething whatsoever...
So, the other day Oh Patient One lost his keys to the apartment.
"No problem," said I, "I'll get a new set organized for you. Really. Piece of, you know, soft, delicious spongy stuff with frosting on the top."
Yes, you guessed it. I spoke too soon...
Now, the main entrance to the apartment has a special security key and can be obtained only from the real-estate managing agent at a cost of $40, but I already know this because I had to get an extra one when we moved in because they only supplied us with two and there are three of us living here.
On the bright side, the other three keys are all, you know, regular ones that you can get cut by a regular locksmith.
So, first thing the next day I call the managing agent and this is what happens.
Me (all confident and chirpy): "Hi! I'm one of your tenants and I'd like to order an additional key to my apartment block, please."
Agency Rep #1: "Let me transfer you to the correct department. Please hold the line."
So far, so good.
So I wait for a bit on the line. And then I wait a bit more. And then I get cut off, so I call back.
Me (still fairly confident and chirpy): "Hi, it's me again. We got cut off. I'm the tenant who would like to order an additional key to my apartment block, please."
Agency Rep #1: "Let me transfer you to the correct department. Please hold the line."
So I wait for a bit on the line. And then I wait a bit more. And finally, after what feels like a million years, someone picks up the phone. Here we go again...
Me (fairly confident and chirpy): "Hi! I'm one of your tenants and I'd like to order an additional key to my apartment block, please."
Agency Rep #2: "I'm afraid I cannot help you. You have to speak to the concierge of the building."
Me (confused): "But. But. But when I needed an extra one when I moved in, I had to get it from you."
Agency Rep #2: "You have to speak to the concierge. I cannot help you." Click.
Grrrrrrrrr...
So a little while later I went in search of the very nice concierge, and when I spoke to him he was completely baffled, because he definitely does NOT supply extra keys for the main entrance.
By now I am no longer confident and chirpy, because I am thinking, "What the hell am I supposed to do, now? Is Oh Patient One doomed forever in the no-keys-to-his-own-apartment department?
But then Nice Concierge says: "I don't understand it. I'll speak to the managing agency, but in the meantime I have a spare key I can give to you. I'll drop it in your mailbox later."
Whew. And he did. Nice Concierge! (I make a mental note to buy him a nice Christmas gift by way of a thank you).
So, all I have to do now is go to the locksmith's store and get the rest of the keys cut. No Problem! Except when I get to the locksmith's on the highstreet, it has closed down. And I haven't seen any other locksmith stores in the city, and I am wondering at this point if everyone here is so organized and careful that they NEVER, EVER lose a set of keys.
Then I have a Bright Idea. I'll check out one of the big department stores, because they're bound to have a department for, you know, key cutting and shoe mending and whatnot, aren't they?
"I'm sorry, madam," Very Nice Store Person tells me. "We don't offer that service."
And by now I am a desperate woman. I mean, all I want for Christmas is a set of keys. Is that too much to ask? Is it?
"But I know a place nearby that does," Very Nice Store Person adds.
Lovely, lovely, Very Nice Store Person. If I, you know, actually knew her I'd kiss her but I manage to restrain myself to a bright, beaming smile.
And then she tells me where to go, and it's in the metro station, which is ultra convenient because it's on my way home, so I trip down to the store and hand over the three keys to the locksmith and order one copy of each.
Locksmith (holding out the key for our ACTUAL APARTMENT): "Sorry, madam. This one is a special kind of key and I can't copy it."
Me (by now completely stressed out over the bloody key situation): "But. But. But I've had this key copied before by a regular locksmith, and it definitely wasn't anything special, and he definitely copied it for me. I promise. Hand on heart."
Locksmith (with a bit of a steely, unamused thread in his voice): "This is a special kind of key and I cannot copy it."
So I stomped off home and went to find Nice Concierge, and blurted out the story to him, and he told me it was ridiculous and the locksmith was obviously delusional, and why didn't I try the locksmith on the Goudse Singel because that particular locksmith is very helpful.
Oh, there's a locksmith on the Goudse Singel? You learn something new evey day...
So I did trip down there, and the Goudse Singel locksmith was really helpful, and it took him, like, a minute to cut a copy of the apartment key, and now Oh Patient One can finally let himself in to his, you know, place of residence.
Whew!
Michelle, who cannot beeleeve the hoops she had to jump through!
Posted by Michelle at 11:57 AM | Comments (0)
December 13, 2005
Ho ho ho
From Alesia, feeling Grinchy
It has started: the official "I am worn out and likely to stay there until New Year's Day" theme of the month. We just spent FOUR HOURS running errands. Errands that should have taken two hours, max, but EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD was desperate to run errands in our neck of the woods this afternoon, apparently.
It makes me cranky. Like my experience with the DMV . . .
So in a long and ugly story about the stupidity of buying cars online (will share later), I finally got the title to my car. (You remember, the car I bought back in early OCTOBER???)
Yeah, that one.
So I go to the DMV to get license plates. Except I didn't have proof that Navy Guy lives with me. And he doesn't have a Virginia driver's license. So I needed eight forms of proof that he has a Virginia residence (my checkbook checks, a letter we'd received from our BANK, and even the offer of a signed affidavit and a blood sample didn't sway them). So it was back in the car to go home and get even more documents.
Then, back again. To have a conversation like this (and Lani, you will be so proud that I used my NICE words):
Me: Here I am, back again, with eight forms of proof that Navy Guy lives in Virginia. With me, even. In the same house.
Her: I can't read the handwriting on the title that's being transferred.
Me: [Smiling patiently while clenching hands into fists]
Her: [Studying title for an hour or two] Well, I guess this is okay, but you have filled out the wrong form.
Me: [Talking through clenched teeth] No, that is the official form from the DMV website as of today.
Her: [Studying form for an hour or two] Well, I guess it must be the new form.
Me: [Still smiling patiently, feeling ULCER FORMING AS I STAND THERE]
Finally, seven or eight years later, I actually have license plates for my new car. And a shiny new ulcer to go with it. Who says the season isn't jolly???
Deck the freaking halls.
Alesia, off to take some of the alcohol-related holiday coping suggestions you all gave me last week
Posted by Alesia at 8:18 PM | Comments (6)
December 11, 2005
...and only in New York...
From Michelle, missing her Alesia and Lani big time...
...do you accidentally catch a bicycle rickshaw, because it's raining cats and dogs and there is no taxi to be found anywhere in the whole of the city...
...so I was in NYC last month for a Kenneth Cole/ Vogue promotion (yeah, I promised you the dirt - soon! I promise!) and along comes a bicycle rickshaw saying "where do you need to be?" and me thinking "oh, like 30 blocks up 5th Avenue - 17th Street - and it's really cold and wet, and I really need to be there!."
Well...
Thirty blocks later, it's also thirty bucks later (I kid you not!).
In the meantime, have you ever seen a singing Christmas tree?
Picture this: today, Oh Patient One and I decided to go Christmas shopping. Unfortunately, so did six billion ( felt l like) Rotterdamse volk (Rotterdam lovely people). It was busy, and noisy, and just so crowded and crowded. And then we saw...
The Singing Christmas Tree!
Picture this: twenty feet of felt Christmas tree. Tweny feet of fake Christmas tree with really bold, gaudy decorations. Poking out of the top of the "so fake and gaudy it's gorgeous" Christmas tree was a, you know, human head. And then the human head started to sing "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer..."
It was so tacky it went off the meter. Oh, I so LOVED IT!
PS. Lani and Alesia - I REALLY MISSED YOU!
Michelle, Festive in Rotterdam
Posted by Michelle at 4:02 PM | Comments (2)
December 10, 2005
Elizabeth Barrett Browning Should Not Be Threatened. (Even if she wasn't dead.)
From Lani, almost ready to hop the train home...
Well, it's 7:30 in the am and I'm about to get up and start the long, going-home day. Gotta get a little breakfast with my homegirls, wonder why in the world I would ever use the phrase "homegirls" in the absence of severe duress, do a little shopping for my girls at home (okay, that phrase works), hop a train, try not to snore on the train, and then go home and explain to my poor husband who has been knee deep in Barbies all week why I'm exhausted.
Ah. I love New York. Let me count the ways...
... because only in New York can you ride a subway next to a crazy guy animatedly talking to himself, and yet it's the chick who tosses his gum wrapper on the floor who gets the raised eyebrows. (And no, it wasn't me tossing the gum wrapper. What kind of Philistine do you think I am?)
...because only in New York can you ride a taxi only to almost hit another vehicle (and when I say almost, we're talking millimeters, not inches) and have the driver say, with all sincerity and in a deep Bombay accent, "Did we really almost hit him? Really? No kidding? Really? Ooops."
... because only in New York can you go to a jazz club and have FREAKIN' STING pop in to sing you a few standards.
... because only in New York can you hop into a gift shop in Times Square so you can hear your cell phone when you call your buddy who lives in New York, and when you report that you're in a gift shop in Times Square, hear the words, "What the fuck are you doing in a gift shop in Times Square?" as if your contamination reflects on him.
... because only in New York can you walk into an entire store dedicated to Hello Kitty. (And yes, they did have the toaster and no, I didn't buy it. And yes, it was hard not to buy it.)
... because only in New York can you walk two blocks randomly in any direction and be guaranteed to find a bookstore, a liquor store and a Starbucks.
... because only in New York can you buy a cool new Swatch. (Okay. Only in New York can I buy a cool new Swatch. It's the only Swatch store I ever find. I know there are others, but not as far as I'm concerned. I get a new Swatch every time I'm here. It's just what I do.)
(Isn't it cute? It really is, isn't it? Tee hee... Swatches and Hello Kitty make me so happy inside...)
Okay. Since it took me forever and a day to find that picture on the web, I must run. But one last reason why I love New York...
... because wine at lunch? Pretty much the norm.
God, I love this place.
Posted by Lani at 7:23 AM | Comments (3)
December 9, 2005
Raunchy puppets
From Alesia, still shaking her head
Just when you think your sides can't hurt any more, you have a scene of raunchy puppets singing a song about the joy of internet porn.
I'm so not kidding.
I went to see AVENUE Q last night with some friends and laughed myself silly. It didn't win a Tony for no reason, let me just say. (Okay, and I can admit I was a little concerned that they wanted to see this and I only get away from the kids and Disney movies a few times a year, but hey, puppets, okay).
Boy, was I not getting the concept.
Because, really? A show that can make you howl with laughter about a song titled IT SUCKS TO BE ME is a winner.
Did I mention the puppet sex? This is SO not Sesame Street.
And, okay, a raunchy puppete show that can end with a great theme - no matter how much life sucks at any given moment, it's all TEMPORARY.
AND GUESS WHAT??? It's snowing here in NY!! HUGE, fluffy snowflakes!! The first time I've seen actual snow in about FOUR YEARS!!!
Happy weekend!
hugs,
Alesia
Posted by Lani at 8:05 AM | Comments (6)
December 8, 2005
Freakin' Sting!
From Lani, whose surreal-o-meter is going off the charts...
Okay - just popping in real quick to say that STING sang to ALESIA AND ME AND BARB FERRER tonight.
And yes, I mean THAT Sting.
More later.... ;) Be jealous! Be very jealous! The whole story later...
Posted by Lani at 1:04 AM | Comments (4)
December 7, 2005
Dude....
From Lani, doing the I'm-going-to-NYC dance...
Okay. I'm packed and ready to go, and then I realized that Wednesday's my blog day, and I got nothing. Gotta go Choppy Thoughts.
Sex and the City on TBS. It's just not right hearing these chicks say, "What the F?" Although, just cutting the sex alone makes up for the 8 minutes of commercials they have to crowbar in there.
Just exactly how many remakes of Pride and Prejudice does one planet need, anyway? And really, once Colin did Darcy, Darcy's done done, far as I'm concerned. Still, I'm gonna go see it. I can't stop myself. But really... enough, people.
Whatever happened to William Hung? (I'd link to him, but then I'd have to Google him, and if I Google him then I answer my own question, and then I'd have to find something else to talk about on the blog, and I'd lose the eventual attention I'll get from the William Hung fans who weren't ashamed to Google him and... wait. Is it just me, or does "Google" suddenly sound kinda dirty? And dirty in relation to William Hung...? :::shudder:::)
On a slightly related - but still choppy - note, how is it that those people who audition for American Idol don't know how bad they are? I'm not talking about the on-the-fence people, the lounge singers/broadway singers/karaoke stars Simon's always going on about. I'm talking about the William Hungs of the world. Does no one love them enough to say, "Dude..."? Because sometimes, if you really love someone, sometimes you need to say, "Dude..."
Are you visiting these guys regularly? Because if not, you really should be. Tell 'em Lani sent ya. And when they stare at you blankly, just tell 'em to forget it.
William Shatner is amazing. I've never seen a human being with less shame or pride. And I don't mean that in a bad way. But... seriously. Nothing is below the man. I'm not even talking about shilling for Priceline, although those commercials are a pretty much Exhibit A. But, no. Right now, I have "TVs 100 Most Unexpected Moments" playing in the background (yes, this is where I got the William Hung thing from as well) and he's commenting on the time he did a weird-ass spoken version of "Rocket Man" on an awards show. He's actually being interviewed about himself, saying he was singing it as "Rock It, Man." Intercut with people mocking him, there's William Shatner. Jesus. The guy will do anything for a buck, won't he? And again, not a criticism so much as a "Dude...." Because I love me my William Shatner enough to say, "Dude..."
Posted by Lani at 6:00 AM | Comments (2)
December 6, 2005
The winners and NYC!
From Alesia, packing at the last minute, as usual
Okay, my random number picker says 7, 11, 8, 2, and 14, so will May, Kathy, Michele, Brianna, and Sheri please e-mail me at alesia@alesiaholliday.com with your snail mail addresses so I can send your autographed copies of THE NAKED TRUTH? Congrats! And thanks to everyone for the FAB ideas on surviving the holidays!!
Lani and I are taking the Lit Chicks to NYC for the rest of the week, so we'll see some shows and drink some highballs for everybody! Have a terrific week and expect fun blog photos from the big apple!
hugs,
Alesia
Posted by Alesia at 8:17 PM | Comments (0)
December 4, 2005
Bad Hair and "Delicate" Music...
From Michelle, handy with the scissors so it would seem...
So, you know I told you about this when my sister and I had a bad hair day and decided to get handy with the scissors?
Well...
A little while ago I also told you about the time I got so fed up with having bad hair days in Rotterdam that I did this...
I liked the new hair style in the hair salon, I really did. But when I washed and styled my hair myself it kinda looked like a bad mullet gone wrong. And then it grew a bit, then grew a bit more, and I was thinking "I'll just let it grow a bit longer then I can get it cut and it won't look like a horrible mullet gone wrong anymore."
Okay, yesterday evening I so ran out of patience and cut off the mullet myself...
Am I alone in this? Am I the only crazy madwoman who decides to give herself a haircut at 8pm on a Saturday night because she just cannot bear to be a mullet head anymore? Please tell me it isn't so!
In the meantime, for peace, tranquility and meaning to life, I discovered some fab music by a guy named Damien Rice. You know at the end of "Lost" episodes when Hurley is listening to some really great music on his personal CD player? Yup, that's Damien Rice - from his "O" album. And if you would like a sneak preview listen, go here and scroll down to the "listen" bit.
Michelle, in Rotterdam, with no hair...
PS. It's still a huge improvement to the mullet :-)
Posted by Michelle at 2:45 PM | Comments (3)
December 2, 2005
Happy December!! and Prizes . . .
Bah, humbug
Well, we made it (almost) through another year, and now it's holiday season, time to spend with our loved ones, baking cookies, wrapping presents, and doing more work than is humanly possible including: rushing through the mall like madwomen, and putting up with relatives we never see for a REASON, and refereeing the battles of kids hopped up on too much sugar and the visions of sugarplums and Dancing Supreme Court Justice Barbie, or whatever the latest Hot Toy is, and, you know, all THAT.
So, in the spirit of the season (and the wine we're all going to need mass quantities of), I'm giving away 5 copies of my newest book, THE NAKED TRUTH, to randomly-chosen readers who leave a comment here about your best coping mechanism for surviving the holidays.
hugs and happy weekend,
Alesia, in need of a little spiked eggnog already . . .
Posted by Alesia at 2:11 PM | Comments (20)
